A
male
age
36-40,
*oseblood
writes:I'm completely in love with my best friend. She is everything I have ever wanted in a girl. She is smart, funny, is interested in the the same things I am (the list goes on). I've told her that I had feelings for her, but since we are best friends she doesn't want to go into a relationship with me. I learned something from my brother the other day, he said "Once you enter friendville, you'll never leave." I have seen this happen, and I have seen best friends get married.My question is, should I wait for her? Should I put my feelings on the back burner? or should I drop all feelings and move on.
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male
reader, Stanley Cup +, writes (24 July 2007):
If she's in another relationship, do not interfere. If you did and she started seeing you, what makes you think that after a little time, she wouldn't leave you for somebody new. Go ahead with your life and do things that you want to do (without her). Don't drop what you're doing the moment that she calls. Take a look at your "best friends" type of relationship, and be honest with yourself in regards to if you would put up with the same treatment from one of your other friends.I may be mistaken when I think that your relationship is similar to several that I have had in the past, but if my hunch is correct, you are someone that she is using to stroke her ego and lavish her with praise and gifts.You obviously care about this girl, so continue to be her friend, but don't be more of a friend to her than you would be to one of your buddies. Also, don't go out on quasi-dates. If you are going to go out, do it in groups of people and bring another girl along with you. If she sees you with another girl, she may think that you are giving all the attention that she used to get to the new girl, and then might realize what she passed up on. If the new girl seems to bother her, then you might have a chance at more than friendship. If the new girl doesn't bother her, then probably all she ever thought of you as was just a friend.
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (24 July 2007):
From this I assume one of two things, either your best friend is terrified of loosing you as a best friend or she quite simply does not find you attractive in that way. When you cross the line from platonic friendship to physical relationship if it then goes wrong there is little or no chance of the good friendship you once had re-kindling itself. I would suggest be there as a friend - especially if you think there may be instabilities in this relationship she is presently in, she may really need you there if things go wrong. At the end of the day, I surely wouldn't put my life on hold for her.
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A
male
reader, blazee +, writes (24 July 2007):
 oh...if she is in a relationship already you need to be careful. does she sound a little bored when she is around you reccently? or is she still the bubbly person she was?i would be careful with what your doing and bring it to a final conclusion ask her to make a decision between you and him, if she chooses him make sure you remain friends but you would be able to get over her, if she chooses you then your happy...but be careful ok? if you need help message me i know about this a lot ive been through it.all the best
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A
male
reader, Roseblood +, writes (24 July 2007):
Roseblood is verified as being by the original poster of the question Here's the problem. I have told her, but she just responds with the best friend comment. I should also add that she is currently in a relationship and has been for like 3 months. I forgot to mention that in the original question.
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A
male
reader, blazee +, writes (24 July 2007):
i think that there is a way you can go out with her but it may be a weirdo ne.with friends girls view it as someone who they can tell there problems to, someone who they do not see in the boyfriend role.girls views of boyfriend and friend can be very diffrent.if you want her show you are confident, and be flirty with her. dont be scared just because you are friends to disscuss your emotions with her, bring them up with her mabye every so often and tell her you still feel the same way.a boyfriend is someone she wants to go out with and will admire.you dont want to be the best friend.good luck and i really hope you two make it toghether,ive seen many best friends get into relationships before,i hope you do to
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A
female
reader, *shugar* *and* *spice* +, writes (24 July 2007):
 i think if you have feelings for her then you should go for it. tell you the trouth she probably feels the same way about you but don't wanna addmit to it well at least i'm like that with guys. so go for it! **** CANDACE TRIPLETT @ LATISHA WADDLES
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