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I'm in love with... my step dad!

Tagged as: Family, Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 12 January 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hi im 18 years old and im in love with my stepdad and want to be with him but hes married to my mum and i cant resist telling him every day that i love him and i dont know what to do. Help!

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A female reader, BunnyChild South Africa +, writes (12 January 2011):

Unfortunately, you need to decide who is more important. Your mother or your love for this man? No one can tell you what you are feeling is not real. But you also need to understand he is with your mother and chose to be like that. I strongly suggest if you have a good relationship with your mother and if this is really a major issue for you, to tell her and she can hopefully guide you through this difficult time. Family is family and you should be able to put your feelings aside for your mother. She would do it for you.

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A female reader, swordandredrose United States +, writes (10 January 2011):

I think you should definitely move out. You don't wanna ruin your own mom's life! This is totally wrong and you should try to forget about him. I'm sorry but you can't do anything but to forget about him. I wouldn't tell anyone anything about it. By "anyone" I mean people in your family or even your closest friends. I think you should also talk to a psychologist. Do it today! Honey you really need to talk to a professional because they are the only ones that can help you.

Good luck!

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (10 January 2011):

rcn agony auntI agree that you should not go there. I want you to work on weeding yourself from this. Find qualities that you appreciate and love about him, but appreciate those qualities for what he brings to your family. He's married to your mom, not you. You can love him for what he brings to your family, but look at it from that angle, instead of desiring to score on your mom's husband. You're a young lady, and it's so easy to love those who have influence in your life. Especially mature influence, especially when those qualities are what you might find attractive or look for in someone. It's not okay to pursue him, but it is okay to be attracted to the qualities he bring to your mom and your family.

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A female reader, jonas Singapore +, writes (10 January 2011):

jonas agony auntDo you love your mum? Usually a woman remarries esp when she has a child is in the hope that she wants to give the child a complete family and provide better for the child. Chances are your mum is not doing well financially so it helps when there is a fatherly figure around.

At 18, you are hitting puberty, it's common to have crushes like you hear of cases where they think they love their teachers, they love their cousins or even the same sex. It could be just a crush.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011):

leave him well alone is what i'd do. If anything ever happened there dou have any idea how muchhurt it wud cause everyone expeshally ur mum. Dont do it to her hun, find som1 else

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011):

You tell him you love him everyday? What is his response to this? Does he encourage this behaviour?

Either way, you are playing with fire here and if you go any further it will not end well. You know it's wrong, which is good but you are still acting inappropriately.

The next time you think about your step-dad, think about how devastated your mum would be if she found out? If that doesn't work, just remember that this guy is married to your mother and has been intimate with her.

If that doesn't put you off i don't know what will.

I suggest you force yourself to change your way of thinking and open your eyes to the reality not the fantasy you have in your head.

It is a crush, like students and teachers, but you need to respect the fact he's married to your MOTHER and keep this to yourself until it passes.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2011):

kenny agony auntThe first words that spring to mind here is absolutely don't go there. The consequences of you doing so would be fatal and break up your family. I think you are just infatuated, and infatuations tend to die out. I would just let this burn out of its own accord and keep it to yourself. The feelings you are having will lessen over time im sure of it. Im sure you really love your Mum, just think how she would feel if you made a move on her Husband. Leave it and just ride the feelings out, things will get easier.

Good luck

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