A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Since my divorce. I have not dated anyone. It seemed that everyone else had love and I was alone. I met someone that became my best friend. Her and I spend every second together. I fell in love with this girl so hard it made me sick. Here is the problem. She is married. Her husband is overseas. When we first met, the attraction from both of us was crazy. We kissed a lot, and flirted with each other all the time. Then after her husband left, she asked me to stay the night and we made love. After this happened, she threw up some major walls. Flirting with other guys, turned off almost all the flirting with me. I have told her I love her. I also have told her I understand her and I can never be together. I know she loves me as well, but her family comes first. Now we are starting to have fights because I am trying to be there for her and take care of her.. Like I always have. I know we can't be together. But her friendship is so important to me. I could never trust her if we did end up in a relationship because she cheating on her husband with me. So what do I do? Her friendship is just as important as the love I have for her. Her kids even love me. I can't stop feeling love for her. I also can't walk away from the most amazing friendship I have ever had. This whole situation is so bad, but the emotions involved could never be put into words. I need advice and help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know I choose to be in this pain. There are 2 types of pain involved. The pain of loving her, and the pain that I could lose the friendship. I have been alone a very long time. So I can make it through the love part. But if I lost her friendship it would destroy whats left of my heart. After her and I slept together, I think that she was falling in love with me very hard. She has told me many times she loved me. I believe she put up the walls because she knew it would be bad when her husband comes back. I really don't want her to leave her husband. I love her enough that I wouldnt want her to go through that pain. I wouldnt want her kids to go through that pain. I guess what I have for her is as real of a love as it gets. The 2 fights we had, both times we were going to just end our friendship. We just had the second one. I got so upset I ended up at the hospital because it made me so sick. Right after I posted my original post on her. she called me. She told me that she missed my friendship, she missed me, and she missed my face. I told her that we would fix these problems and get that amazing friendship back to where it was. But is it even possible to get that back when we both know we have feelings for each other?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 July 2013):
If you refuse to walk away then you have to stop whining and complaining about it. You say you can't but the truth is YOU ARE MAKING A CHOICE TO BE IN THIS PAIN.
BTW if she truly loved you she would leave her marriage for you.... she doesn't truly love you.
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