A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:my best friend told me he was gay when it was too late and i'd already fallen for him. i'm seriously in love with him, and i have told him exactly the way i feel, it didn't effect our friendship and actually brought us closer together. he tells me things like how he loves me more than anybody else ever could and how pretty i am and always will be etc. we went on holiday a couple of weeks ago and people thought we were a couple, we were as close as kissing sometimes, and he never seems to mind this. i was starting to move on and accept the fact that he is gay and there is nothing i can do about that, but lately he's got a hell of a lot closer and he is forever dropping hints about how attractive he thinks i am and how much he loves me. i can't help but think there could be a chance he is either confused about his sexuality or he's bisexual. he will tell me all these sweet things, and drop these hints and then its as though he gets scared that he's letting something slip and he starts to talk about men again. i'm just so confused about it all!
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best friend, kissing, move on, on holiday Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): oh god!! i am in the exact situation!! he is honestly the nicest guy to me ever, all my friends think were a couple, and they always are like "you guys should date, you practicly are!" but hes gay and i cant tell anyone!!! he calls me baby, and honey, and tells me he loves me so much all the time. he always offers to do things for me, and asks me on "dates" and i know he knows im falling for him... hes my best friend... and hes gay. or so he says. i really dont know either but my god its nice to know people are in the same situation. id say just play it cool, thats what im doing, he might be slightly attracted to you, and if he is, he is. hes probably a little confused. hang tight and best of luck to you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): Here's my theory...a Man is a Man. If he's had a gay experience (misplaced feelings, touching and got aroused) then he thinks I"M GAY. Well, it's not that simple. I think 'gay' guys have no inhibitions to give a girl love, because they don't care if they are rejected, they think they're gay. But deep down they are 'showing' a deep attraction to women. Funny how your friend got jealous when you decided to move on. I think sometime in his life, he will come to terms with this, and question his choices and feelings for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): OMGA! I love you...seriously...This is the same EXACT thing that's happening to meeeee!!! I could cry right now...out of happiness that I found someone whose going through this too. He does the same stuff, literally, it's like wtf? Do you like me or not? And THEN! Omga, he'll get scared too! If something very intimate happens between us, he automatically does something to prove that he's as gay as he can be!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): honey, we gay men love our girls...but that doesn't mean we are IN LOVE with them. What you two have is something special, but you need to set the boundary and accept the fact that he is gay and possibly still trying to come to terms with that. It may be hard to hear, but you are setting yourself up for disaster and if you really value your friendship with him, then you need to have a serious discussion with him and let him know what your needs are and what you are looking for in a relationship with him. I wish you all the best...we all deserve to have a perfect love
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your help :)
i decided in the end after i spoke to him, that the best thing will be to move on. its not worth getting any more hurt or losing the friendship over it. i've actually found somebody else who i'm really interested in, and the funny thing is my friend seems really jealous about it and he keeps trying to make sure i don't meet this guy and he's constantly trying to tell me how it wont work out. But i have learnt to just ignore him, its getting a lot better now.
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female
reader, Skweek  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 Just because he's gay doesn't mean he won't react to you differently, he still has hormones, my super duper gay friend would always flirt with me and hug me in really suggestive ways, but he was still amazingly gay haha, i love that kid to death
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): Try to convince him that he is not gay, or that he can change. Check out PFOX Parents and Friends Of Ex-Gays and Lesbians.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): hmmmm
if he is acting like that and you know he is def flirting with you ( a girl just knows) then he MUST like you
it sounds to me like he is scared to admit it to himself for whatever reason. he cant keep treating you like this.
Distance yourself from him for a while.. give him time to think about things- you really are worth it and at the end of the day he knows where you are and can easily contact you!
Hope things work out for you two :D xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe told me last night that he is gay and that nothing will ever happen between us, after spending the entire day doing nothing but dropping hints that he wanted something more. i just dont understand it, its not like he even just acts like a friend and i've got the wrong end of the stick, because friends dont get as close as we do. he was constantly doing things like putting his head against mine, moving my hands so they'd be on him and other things, he also said im all he needs in the world to make him happy, then he goes and says that hes gay and nothing will happen and he wonders why i get confused?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2008): Hey!I honestly know how you feel huni.I am in the exact same situation with one of my best guy friends. I have really fallen for him- we were always best friends but I never fancied him before until this Summer- I feel like we have this connection that I can't even explain. I know he is my soulmate.. he is bisexual tho, he was gay before but realised that he fancies women too :)maybe your guys the same!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2008): Just be a "Straigh Shooter," and ask him what his intentions are...If he loves you and none else, then what do you have to loose. But he loves other men, atleast you know the truth, and you can move on...It is better to know now, that 10 years from now, and you have wasted you life and love on a man who can not commit. Let us know the turn out Sweet Pea!!!
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