A
male
age
36-40,
*rOveranalysing
writes:Around 9 months ago I received a facebook message from someone I've never met before and a friend request :" Hey man, how are you? You were proposed as a friend and I think I remember having you as a tinder match. ;) You seem like a nice person, so I thought I'd add you. Hope you don't mind". We met and I felt no chemistry, he then expressed an interest in the spare room in my house. I was apprehensive at first as he's such a closed person, I felt no connection. I slept with his best friend and let him move in. 9 months later, I realise I have feelings for him, but I hardly know him. He's so closed, icy and veiled. He blows hot and cold. I tried hard to be friends, but he doesn't seem responsive, its awkward as we live a door apartOur interactions are purely transactionary. He used to like everything I posted on social media. He shows me he notices what I do, and then withdraws. I was happy keeping things transactionary, except he's a neat freak. He messages me or calls me out on small things all the time, it got to a point whereby I dread receiving messages from him. As it hurts the only the things he says are negative household things, no effort is extended to know me. I don't know why he is this way. I don't know if I should move out or not. I dont know if my feelings are too strong, if they are requited. But when he brings guys home it feels horrible. He says he doesn't wanna come across as "bitch or an asshole" but he doesn't apply same rules to himself. It feels like I'm in some weird psychological game, where he's trying to get back at me for sleeping with his best friend or whatever. He denies its personal, but I dont feel he does this to other housemates. I feel confused and troubled but I dont wanna leave my beautiful place.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2015): Hi *rOveranalysing. Reading your post, I felt like most of it reflected an experience I had recently with a flatmate of mine (not all of it but enough to prompt me to share some advice): put.an.end.to.it.now, for the sake of your sanity. And it needs to me drastic, as you allowed yourself to develop feelings for a person you don't know and who, by the sounds of it, isn't interested in you (trust me, if he was, even if playing a game it would be obvious).Either move out or get him to move out as soon as possible. Trust me, once removed from your sight and daily routine you'll think about him less and less, stop projecting and eventually get over it. Right now he's someone you built up in your mind and reality seems to be quite different.Do it if it pains you. In the end, you'll respect yourself that much more and hopefully will also have learned an invaluable lesson on restraint. Best of lucks!
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (15 September 2015):
 You have only two choices: 1. Change the situation you are in or, 2. Take something out of the situation.
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