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I'm in a long distance marriage... I get a lot of attention from most men - except my husband!

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 December 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 December 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, *raced writes:

I have been married for 2 years now. 4 months ago, my husband and I enter in a long distance marriage. We used to talk on the phone every day. Now we don't amymore and he almost never calls unless I do. We see each other on the weekends. He is very conected to his parents and now he is living with them. He is going to school and seems to enjoy a lot his new friends as well. I am a very attractive woman and i get a lot of attenition from every other man, but my husband. I am 29 yesrs old and he is 27. Are all this things normal in a long distance marriage???

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007):

No that's not normal. Why did you guys choose to have this long distance arrangement?? I think if you guys are married you guys should be together even if it requires one of you to have to relocate in order for you both to be together.

Anyways, it sounds like he is distancing himself from you. It could be for alot of reasons but the most common is probably that he doesn't care as much as he used to.

But since he is your HUSBAND you must make it clear to him that his behavior is intolerable and that if he is going to keep neglecting you and acting like he doesn't need to call you everyday and act like he doesn't care than he MUST talk to you and explain to you why and explain what is going on and why he is acting this way. If it is because he fell out of love or met someone else, then whatever, but he has to understand that here you are being a good wife and being completely neglected by him and that is wrong and unfair. Its not like he is JUST your boyfriend. I mean you know how boyfriends are. One day they love you and maybe the next day they don't. But its not like that. He is your HUSBAND. That's totally different. That is a commitment. And his behavior is intolerable and you gotta let him know. And if he's got something to come clean about then let him come clean and you can deal with it as you need to. But as of what he is doing now, it is totally unacceptable, and you deserve answers.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007):

It sounds like you two are losing that emotional connection. You are in a long distance marriage which can be difficult. He is okay as he's with his family and not feeling the loss of interaction with people who love him. I suggest you talk to him and both of you try your best to communicate more often. You are noticing other men who are giving you attention. Resist---because. I think you are feeling the lost feelings that happen when you feel far away from the inner world of your love relationship. And sometimes people, look to to others to alleviate this loneliness, because they want intimacy from other people. Try not to open your heart to someone and become emotionally close. Or you will be ripe for infidelity. It sounds like you just need to really talk to hubby more often. Let him know, you 'need' the closeness. Good luck, hun

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (14 December 2007):

kenny agony auntI don't think this is normal for a marriage, You are a married couple, and he goes to school and lives with his mum & dad, and is enjoying spending time with his new friends. I think that maybe you should have tied the knot when you were abit more settled in life because it sounds to me like you both have very different lives. He has now stopped calling during the week, as where he used to call every day, and you are getting alot of attention from other guys, as probably is he while he is at school.

I think you need to have a talk with him on your next weekend together and asetain where you are both heading in this marriage.

Good luck x

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