A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 months now and we’re at the stage where we really start to get to know each other. He talks about his ex-girlfriends constantly, whenever we hang out he always brings up at least one of his ex-girlfriends and tells me stories about them when they were together. He’s had good and bad relationships in the past including one where he’s been cheated on. But it annoys me to the point when I yell at him to stop, which he does but then brings them up a few days later. He had told me stories about where they would go, what they would do, and how much fun they would have. He has even told me about the future he wanted to have with one of them, including baby names and where they would live. I don’t know if he does this on purpose or not, but it depresses me every time I think about it. He treats me well and we both love each other dearly, but after learning about his past relationships makes me wonder if he really does love me or if I'm just a rebound. I love him but I don’t know how much more I can take, what do I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): obviously your bf is still young and terribly immature and obviously still infatuated with his ex,s. Try to play hard to get with him and he will forget the others and start running after you.
A
female
reader, SarahRussell +, writes (21 July 2010):
 Ive been here before, so i know exactly how you feel. It must be hard to try and talk to your boyfriend about it, especially if he doesn't see there is a problem. No-one needs to tell you not to snap at him, im sure you already know that, as when tension gets built up inside you, you have to let it out somehow right? I advise the best thing to do would be to try and sit him down. Try to explain to him how it makes you feel, as im sure it wouldnt like it the other way round. If he truly loves you, he would understand that this makes you feel upset. Explain that you feel like this isnt a two person relationship, that you feel you have to compete with his ex's. If you tell him this in a calm manner, and show him how it makes you feel, he would understand, and will hopefully change his attitude towards it. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, The wife listener  +, writes (21 July 2010):
Tell him. simply tell him in a calm and collected manner, if he's playing mind games with you it could be to try and make you jealous. This is an insecurity on he's part. If he's not and he truly loves you, he'll stop talking about he's past and start talking about the future you have together.
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (21 July 2010):
 Hello,
The constant talk about these past relationships does lead me to believe he is doing a self therapy type of healing. (without knowing it possibly.) However, I'm wondering how long since one of these break-ups happened et?. Was it recently and how long was he in this relationship etc. I've found to my detriment that rebounds tend to go fast and loving and furious and out of this world and then suddenly........nothing. It all drops off. For you, you have 5 months so in my experience rebounds normally are shorter. But purely my ideas, I hope some of this helps. Hannnah.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): My ex boyfriend did the same thing...he couldn't stop talking about his ex/baby's mother. If he knows how much it bothers you, he should stop talking about the ex's and focus on you. Depending on when the relationship ended and how it ended, he probably still has feelings for his ex. Let me tell you one thing, you NEVER, EVER want to be a rebound for anyone...it's one of the most horrific feelings in the world because, the person they're heart still yearns for has some what of an influence on they're emotional being.
My ex left me to be with his ex/baby's mother and treated me like pure crap...I had to seek therapy in order to get over him which took about one year.
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