A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 4 years. A couple of nights ago he called me to say he'd received a text message saying 'you should ask your girlfriend where she stayed on Saturday night'. I was on a night out with my sister on Saturday (which he knew about) and we went back to our own house which we live in with our parents, so I told him this. However he keeps going on about it and I don't think he believes me. He says he doesn't understand why someone would lie about that.I've suggested that it could be someone trying to cause trouble (I have no idea who or why though), or even sent to the wrong number since it doesn't name me. But he just won't let it go.I do feel bad for him because it must have been a horrible message to get so I've been trying to reassure him, but now it's got to the point where I'm hurt that he is choosing to believe an anonymous idiot over me. I even told him he could check with my Mum or my sister because they can both vouch for the fact I was at home, but to be honest I don't think he should need to. Surely after 4 years he should know me and trust me more than that? Ive never cheated on him or anyone else and I never would. Should I keep reassuring him or tell him that I'm hurt by this? I thought we had a really solid relationship but this has me questioning it now. Also is there any way to track who sent the message? Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2013): This screams at me...where was he? This sounds soooo suspicious to me... Is HE cheating? Cheaters tend to accuse ...just a thought hope im wrong hope its sone jealous kook trying to get u guys to break up... Good luck
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 August 2013):
 I once got messages online from an "anonymous" person who told me to check on my then boyfriend... sadly they turned out to be true after i determined who it was but it was someone trying to make trouble
it's disconcerting to me that after 4 years he would believe someone who he can't verify... either he's looking for a reason to break up or he has a guilty mind himself.
I would tell him that if he'd rather believe an unknown stranger over me, that clearly he's not the man I want to be with and I'd walk away and let him come chase you... if he does...great... if he does not.. he wanted out and this was his excuse.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 August 2013):
 Maybe he's afraid you'll find out what he was up to on Saturday night and so is throwing up a huge smokescreen.
Maybe he won't let it go because he's feeling guilty about something himself and is projecting that onto you.
Maybe he's received more than one message from someone.
Ask to see the message.
Stop 'reassuring' him now and start to ask him why this random message from a stranger (?) has created this drama in his mind.
Yes, after 4 years, he should know you and trust you. The fact that he does not is a huge red flag.
Tackle the hot topic with him. You know you're not guilty of whatever that text implied, so hold your ground and find out what the hell he's going on about.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 August 2013):
 He can't see the number from which the text was sent?????
.. and it was anonymous??????? .... and he's reacting to it as if it has any credibility?????
He needs to ask you - just once - to confirm where you were on Saturday night (you've already told us).... then drop the subject.
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2013): For the message, simply text the person back and request to know who it is and what that txt was implying. As for him choosing not to believe you, he probably does want to but is being stubborn because he's feeling hurt by the thought of his girlfriend cheating on him (even if it never happened). That's insecurity on his part. If reassuring him hasn't worked, then tell him you're hurt too by him disbelieving your explanation and tell him you'll give him some space and time to himself to think. You've been together just over 4 years and if during that time he's never doubted your faithfulness to him, then maybe all it will take is a bit of time for him to get off his high horse about this and to miss you before he shakes this off and comes to accept that it was a hoax.
Just a thought.
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