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I'm having trouble trying to figure out my sexuality...

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 November 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 November 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *iccanrain writes:

I'm 18 and for a long time i've been trying to figure out my sexuality. It's a little confusing and frankly i totally believe that only you know what you want, but i would still love some advice on it i guess. so i do think that guys are cute, but whenever i fantisize or anything it's always about girls. a guy's penis either wierds me out or just doesn't do anything for me. i haven't had sex yet and i tend to avoid the dating scene in case that makes a difference in the kind of advice you give me. but whenever i imagine a relationship (i don't do friends with benefits) it's almost 99.9% about me and another girl. i know it should seem really simple since everything i say is pro female, but to be honest i don't know if it's just past relationships that have convinced me to look towards same sex relationships or if i've just been trying to cover it up in the first place....even some of my friends ask if i'm lesbian/bi because (according to them) i act like it....plse help thanks so much

View related questions: friend with benefits, lesbian

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A female reader, wiccanrain United States +, writes (17 November 2009):

wiccanrain is verified as being by the original poster of the question

wiccanrain agony auntok frankly my friend's opinion didn't sway me at all, it just got me to actually think. ok so ya i do think about the walking in the sunset with a girl and i do feel like i've given guys a fair chance. i'm not like trying to convince anyone of anything, but if this bit o' info makes a difference then good? the relationships i've had (guys) didn't really do anything for me....like say we'd be kissing...i would be counting down the seconds until he finally stopped...it's not that they were bad kissers it was just, it didn't do anything for me....about te whole planting flags in one area...i just kinda want to realize i guess and accept(??) ...i know how i feel, but i kinda wanted some outside opinions..people with more experience than i am

thanks for all the help, really :)

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (17 November 2009):

fishdish agony auntI don't think your friends gaydar or lack thereof matters, and I don't even think your past relationships matter. you feel sexually attracted to girls, which I do too, but at the end of the day, I do not want to get in an emotional relationship with a girl. I don't like the way their heads work, usually! I don't see walking in the sunset with a girl. But if you do, I feel like that's some strong evidence for maybe not being straight. If you think you haven't given guys a fair shot, maybe experiment more, that might help, doesn't say that you have experience with girls, just that you've been unimpressed with males and their genitalia..which i can't fault you for :P haha. I guess also, I should note, I still keep an open mind, since I've never been with a girl in any capacity; I know that if i break up with my guy either gender is fair game in my mind, and am fine with either way it goes. take it relationship by relationship, maybe you'll see a gender pattern :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009):

Look, you don't have to plant a flag in either camp. Get out there, see what happens, you might be one of the somewhat rare true bi-sexuals. My best freind from college (female) is that way... over the last 28 years she's dated two guys serously, married one of them, and been in two LTR's with women. All one at a time... no messing around- today she's very happily dating a guy, after a 7 year relationship with a woman.

So, point is, mix with people, see what happens- you might learn to love one or the other... or both in the right situation... but relax about 'defining' yourself- no one (except you) seems to be pushing for an answer... it may take a few years to sort itself out.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009):

STRAIGHT

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