Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): I have the same problem, me and my 3rd cousin met at our family reunion. The last time we saw each other we were little around 8 or 9. Well anyways we met and we started talking and getting to know each other, he left the next day and well after he left i relized i didn't want him to go. We talked everyday after that day,well i have thought if it was wrong and how to tell my family i wanted to be with him. He was scared because he didn't want to lose me to another guy. We love each other so much, and care for one another but we no people will not exsept it. I believe love is all that matters, nothing or nobody should stand in the way of that. God made us people and people love one another and it shouldn't be wrong.
A
female
reader, DiovanLestat +, writes (21 May 2008):
Unfortuanately you neglected to mention what country you came from or how old you and your cousin are. My advice is only for those who are overage and living in the UK.
There is no moral or legal reson to prevent you dating, marrying or having sex with your cousin, first, second or otherwise. Cousins in the UK are not seen as close relatives, but are seen as part of the extended family. Genetically however there may be a slight increased risk of deformity and thus it is wise to take advice from a doctor before you get pregnant.
Laws, customs and values may be different in other countries and thus this advice may not apply.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): what if its your first cousin?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Love is love and thats all that matters. Trust your instincts. I am suprised to see that their is so much people in the world that feels like me. I dont know how it happened but I love my 3rd cousin to. I have been talking to her for a while now but she doesnt feel the way i do. She even told me "i cant make my self like you." i would of never imagined that i would be that person who is attracted to their cuzin infact that was the last thing on my mind. Now, it's like i'm goin insane because she doesnt feel the same and i have been trying to do everything i possible can do. It's like i'm trying to make her fall in luv with me. Day by day the situation just get's worst. I wish i would have never met her just because my life feels miserable and i cant stop thinking about her. I dont think my 3rd cuzin will ever feel how i feel. I would do anything to trade places with you because both of you have love for each other. Two people have to love each other for love to be considered love. Dont worry about what anyone says. Only worry about HOW U FEEL. Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, TruthBTold20 +, writes (5 May 2008):
Love is love and thats all that matters. Trust your instincts. I am suprised to see that their is so much people in the world that feels like me. I dont know how it happened but I love my 3rd cousin to. I have been talking to her for a while now but she doesnt feel the way i do. She even told me "i cant make my self like you." i would of never imagined that i would be that person who is attracted to their cuzin infact that was the last thing on my mind. Now, it's like i'm goin insane because she doesnt feel the same and i have been trying to do everything i possible can do. It's like i'm trying to make her fall in luv with me. Day by day the situation just get's worst. I wish i would have never met her just because my life feels miserable and i cant stop thinking about her. I dont think my 3rd cuzin will ever feel how i feel. I would do anything to trade places with you because both of you have love for each other. Two people have to love each other for love to be considered love. Dont worry about what anyone says. Only worry about HOW U FEEL. Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Love is love and thats all that matters. Trust your instincts. I am suprised to see that their is so much people in the world that feels like me. I dont know how it happened but I love my 3rd cousin to. I have been talking to her for a while now but she doesnt feel the way i do. She even told me "i cant make my self like you." i would of never imagined that i would be that person who is attracted to their cuzin infact that was the last thing on my mind. Now, it's like i'm goin insane because she doesnt feel the same and i have been trying to do everything i possible can do. It's like i'm trying to make her fall in luv with me. Day by day the situation just get's worse. I wish i would have never met her just because my life feels that miserable and i cant stop thinking about her. I dont think my 3rd cuzin will ever feel how i feel. I would do anything to be in your position where your cuzin loves you. Dont worry about what anyone says, trust your instincts and the best of luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): i think its perfectly fine as long as he's not blood related
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): Hi. my roommate got a pull and tug from his third cousin yesterday that he just found out about. is this gross? she called him later that night to go have casual sex, because they are in college is this ok? is this moral or criminally wrong? tell me so i can tell him. ps. is it ok if i bang her?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): First of all, its your 3rd cousin. Its not disgusting. Love is something that should be cherished and not based on sex. Love should be precious, treasured. I loved my 3rd cousin. Im not sure how our family would have reacted, we never had a chance to tell them. We broke it off before because he was worried that i'd get in trouble. Not a day goes by that i don't think about him, and think about whether we would've been happier together. Kinda difficult to lime around, especially around family.
Point is, i wished we never broke up.we never had sex, but our intimate life was bursting with sparks. a pyro display. If you love him, or her....i cnt tell you to be with him. But i would definitely stick it out. i regret letting him go, dont let urs go.
Broken Hearted**(
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): the same thing that is happening to you is going on my life right know
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): i feel for ya. shits tough. go for it.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): i dont think it is if yall really luv each other
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): i kind of the same problem i was really, really young like 6 or 7 years old and me and my cousin did something we weren't supposed to do and she a girl in my heart and soul i really regret it forom growing up in a neighborhood were you see this things and watching bad things on tv containing to it bit i'm not gay, i call it curiousity we didm' know about sex back then we thought we knew like practicing until we got boyfriends. i stoped doing it because i felt it was wrong and my grandmother is a big christian she say so many things about going to heaven and hell and i fear for my life that this maybe something i can't get forgiven for i confessed to god and my grandmother because i can trust her she told me the lord forgives you for any horrible sin that you've commited on this earth and i have i hard time trying to forgive myself for it because i think i might go to hell for it, know matter how many time i ask for forgiveness from the lord and i fell ashmed but thats why i want to get my life together i just wonder can i get forgiven for it and when i die not going to hell thats my biggest concern i fell like i'm not going to tell my family this is something tahts between me and god which i really fear.so saying this really help a little.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): hello girl..!! dis is britney!!.... just writing to say it is completly normal as i am going out with my 3rd cuz too!!... n at d start mine n hes parents didnt approve but now as they seen us as happy as we are nw dey are ok with it..!!! best of luck... and hope it works out well with you
BRITNEY xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): I have a daughter from my third cousin and for a minute I loved (or so I thought). I love my daughter very much and she's very smart and healthy. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I did a lot of research not only on the internet but in the Holy Bible and "NO WHERE" does it say it's wrong for third or even second cousin to be together. In fact it's incouraged in the Bible.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): well there is a saying that if you not close blood line cousin you can have sex and be together.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): yeah, i like my third cousin too. I'm not having sex or anything with her. She doesn't know.
I think it's just a small crush and these feelings mean nothing, but I can't stop thinking about her, it's driving me insane.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2008): it is not wrong if he is your third cousin. second and first yes. but third you are okay.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): No it is not wrong to be married and have sex with your 3rd cousin. A third cousin is barely related to you. And is definitely not a blood relative genetically. However from a moral stand point it is fornication.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): If u want great advise listen here !!
I am also in a similar situation. My 2nd cousin and i have been together for almost a year !we confessed our love for eachother with out even knowing what we each had to say. since we were kids we just had this "thing" for eachother and it just grew from there. we're both 18 and have fought through all the drama and bullshit everyone has given us. My mom has simply given up. She now approves of our relationship and accepts the fact that he makes me happy. Shes more worried about my happiness than what everyone has to say. His parents on the other hand haven't given up. At least no yet!! People need to get their damn facts straight before they start mentioning anything about "deformed" or "retarted" babies, the chance of that happening is only 2-3 percent, the same percentage a woman over 35 would have if she were to get pregnat. Having relations with your cousin isnt incest, having sex with a brother, sister, parent, or grandparent is incest. READ THE BIBLE !!!!
Don't worry about what anyone has to say about you, they havent walked in ur shoes, they dont see what u see. those other people dont care about u ! You cant help who u fall in love with, and if anyone has ever been in love they should know what its like. what ur doing isnt WRONG !! being gay or lesbian is wrong !! once again READ THE BIBLE !!! if it was wrong then it would be illegal for cousins to get married, just like gay marriges are illegal. Do what YOU want not what EVERYONE else wants for u. Dont fall under pressure abd just be positive about everything =]
GOOD LUCK 3
...............................
A
female
reader, GeorgiaTeenDriver007 +, writes (20 November 2007):
Yes its WRONG! Thats your blood relative.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): Yes it is messed up. Thats your blood relative.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): Hey,
I think its all right. I you like him then go ahead for all I care. If he was hot and I wanted to do it and he did too, I totally would have sex with him. But don't tell anyone about it like your mom because she probly will NOT aprove. But just make sure you aren't doing it only to be cool, do because you and only you want to have sex with him.
Jessica Hanley: I am 11 years old!
Bye
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): First cousins is wrong...2nd cousins is pushing it but third should be fine. i just met my third cousin and didnt know he was my third cousin...we like each other though. Its crazy how things work but third cousins are distant but anything before that is gross...In my case i hadnt ever met him before and started liking him before i knew
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): yes what would happen if you ended up pregnant. all these people are telling you its ok. but it has been known that even as distant as 3rd cousins having children they often are born retarted. and babies of couples who are related also sometimes are born with deformaties. whould you really want to put a child through that.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Do what you think it right, follow your heart. I am dating my 2nd cousin, and couldn't be happier.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): any cousin is a cousin and cousins are family. no way never do this! its gross! please do ur family a favor and stay far away from even the idea! how hard up are u to get with ur family anyway? go find one of the other 7 billion ppl in the world to get with ...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): Hi, my cousin who is my aunties son says he loves me and wants to have sex with me, i know that my mum wouldnt approve as she knows whats been said she would diss own me, i am 18 and he is 27 sometimes i think is this right as he seems like a real nice guy and i want to tell him i might want sex with him but i dont know if this is completly wrong and whether it is worth the risk. I dont want to be one of those people think are weird and there would be no going back on sumthing like this, can you tell i am confused?? I think that your family would disaprove if they are anything like mine.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): Don't get Love and Sex confussed here. Great SEX can make you think you are in love. Third cousins are actually pretty distant. Through out history marriages were arranged between cousins.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): It is alright, third cousins are less than 0.01% related by blood.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): I am in love with my third cousin. He is one of my grandparent's first cousin's grandsons. I met him last year for the first time on some party. I was very reserved at the beginning although I liked him very much. A year later, i feel like I cant resist him any more. Nobody objects for the two of us being together, not even my mum. So I ve decided to go for it. We are gonna be such a wonderful couple. Am I crazy?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): hey if you love him,its alright and if you think what your doing is wrong well then what i did is really wrong because i've slept with my first cousin onced removed several times (was drunk most of the time)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): no, i don't think it is wrong
you can't help who yo fall in love with can you?
and it is impossible for other people to think they no how it feels even if they are/have been in love with their family members, they are not you, and they are not your cousin. furthmore they don't know either one of you, so trying to tell you to stop is totally out of order.
don't worry what anyone else thinks of your relatonship.
do what makes you happy
do what makes your cousin happy
i think that you should concentrate more on yourself and you own happiness rather than that of the people around you.
as a familys love for one another if supposed to be unconditional, so if you mom and yor auntie truelly love you, they will forgive you/accept it in time.
you just have to be patient.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): Well...if I wasn't in a somewhat similar situation, I would say it's wrong. But, really, you aren't that closely related, right? In fact, at anytime, we could be running into someone that we're related to someway somehow and not even know it. I'm 15 and actually have a crush on my third cousin, who is 14.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): yes i think its ok do if you want to
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): No problem. it's normal all right.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2007): I am thinking about my third cousin a lot i know i wouldnt do this with my first or second but he is so damn cute. So i decided to go for it so should you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): I have a friend well an ex bf!Me and him were dating for about a month and then he thought we were cousins well far away but we ain't Because my family says we ain't but his says we are because his family thinks they know everything!But well forget about that well my mother told me that third cousins are NOT blooded! The closest cousin there is,is a 1st!that's a blooded cousin and 2nd is only half a blooded cousin!So Don't worry It's okay to date your 3rd cousin as long as your not blooded!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007): no, if he is sexy, you can't help it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): i dont think its wrong, ive been dating a boy for a while but we only found out we were third cousins and he broke up with me, but i think 3rd cousins are not close family .if you 2 are happy with it dont listen to what anyone thinks.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): Well It i Not Wrong I Have Two Cousins That went out with Their Third Cousins! Third Cousins are Pretty Far away from Each other!They're not Completely Blooded!Firts Cousins are The Closest!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): It's only incest when you have sex with:- Mother, father, brother, sister, half brother, half sister and grand parents. Other than that, it's legal and OK. Third cousins are distant enough for it to be inconsequential but it's just that people are so narrow minded they cannot accept it easiliy. They instantly think "incest" when they have no idea what they are talking about. I am in love with my 3rd cousin. She has a boyfriend and I'm married. We're both unhappy. We've only kissed, nothing else and that's the way it will probably stay. I long to be with her. And she will always have a special place in my heart.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2007): im sleeping with my 3rd cousin also and we came out and told the family that were together... we came out like a month ago so ppl are still pissed about it but deep down i dont really give a shit what anyone else thinks coz i love her with all my heart and nothing anyone else says will change that so dont stress bout it 3rd cousins are so distant it dusnt matter.
...............................
A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (27 August 2006):
Well I dont like to use terms such as "sick" and "gross" etc when it comes to describing the actions of others but I always say this: "If I have to ask wether or not something is bad, it must be" What I mean is, if you are questioning what you are doing then you must deep down think that something is wrong with it. If I am questioning whether doing anything is wrong, then someone deep within me, I think its wrong, or a bad idea.
Me personally, a cousin is a blood relative being 1st, 2nd or 3rd, and I wouldnt have sexual relations with a blood relative but my dear I cant make choices for you and tell you whats right and wrong, your conscience will do that for you. Take care. xXx
...............................
A
female
reader, Astrid +, writes (27 August 2006):
It is not important dear go on if you like the boy
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006): then what is it if hes my dads 1st cousins grandson?
what makes him to me then??
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006): personally i do not think its wrong.
if he is too close to your blood line
then yes maybe a bit too weird.but you
shouldnt stop just because other people
tell you to stop or if people tell you
thats is disgusting.you cant always live by
what other people tell you to so.everyone always
tells you to follow your heart.so do it?
im in the same situation,except the person im
with,he's far distant to my bloodline..WAY FAR-
thank lord.cause he is the most facinating human on
earth.hehehe,SO BASICALLY dont listen to anyone here!
EVEN ME! do what you want/need to.if you truly love
him be with him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): If you feel the need to hide then I will say that you are doing something wrong.
Most people do things in secrecy to conceal a fact about them that they know to be wrong, immoral.
If you can not openly come out with your relationship; that says it enough.
You are having doubts; go with your gut instinct.
End it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): If you feel the need to hide then I will say that you are doing something wrong.
Most people do things in secrecy to conceal a fact about them that they know to be wrong, immoral.
If you can not openly come out with your relationship; that says it enough.
You are having doubts; go with your gut instinct.
End it.
|