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I'm having sex with my third cousin. Is this wrong?

Tagged as: Family, Forbidden love, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 January 2006) 105 Answers - (Newest, 2 May 2010)
A female , anonymous writes:

Recently i have been having sex with my third cousin, it's been going on for the past month now, i really really enjoy it, and i feel like i love him, i cant get him out of my head. But when im not with him i think about the what ifs and get really down about it. Is it sick to sleep with a cousin? Do you think my auntie and mum will dissapprove? Do you think that all this is just a bit of fun for him,? (altho he tells me he loves me and has since he met me two years ago), please get back to me... thankyou

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010):

I too have slept with my third cousin. I found out that we were related after we had had sex. I was very attracted to him as he was to me. The main thing with us is that we wouldn't be having kids...we both were married and already had children. He has had a vasectomy so all that was out of the question. I looked online for biblical wrongs on this and came up with nothing saying that it is biblically wrong to sleep with or marry a cousin. Further more, third cousins are so far down the line that it really doesn't matter to me. Now.....the family accepting this relationship and connetion is a hold other argument. My thing is.....if you are able to lay your head down on your pillow and be happy, then do you. Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010):

Well I really liked this one girl and today I found out she was my 3rd cousin. I say that its ok to be in love with someone who is far distant family. So then its pretty much not relation at all.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010):

i personaly dont think it is wrong

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010):

Okay, first of all, first cousins are as close as your siblings, so what does that mean for your third? IT means you're too closely related and no one will accept you and your "love" because if you have any kids they will seriously most likely have some sort of deformities and won't function properly and it's just nasty.

Second of all, you can find someone that is right for you where you won't question if it's right or not, and everyone will approve of.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010):

Hi people my name is Chearrie,I just wanted to say that having a relationship with your 3rd cousin is NOT incest a 3rd cousin is way out of the family and it is very common for people to date,marry or even have children with any cousin.Personally I dont think its even wrong to love your 2nd or 1st cousin because at the end of the day cousins aint immediate family,I know how you people feel even though im not in a relationship with my 3rd cousin i love him and i think the world of him his a few years older mind ya but i hope in the future when im old enough to marry him it will happen,,but dont listen to what others think or do i think the reason why people dont like the idea if cousins marrying or so on is because there not in the situation so they wont understand but keep your head up high and do what YOU feel is right not what OTHER people say or think if they dont like it they can piss off! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010):

This is such a touchy subject in America. I totally understand the sentiment of all of the others who've answered this post. I too, am in love with my third cousin. We did not know we were related at first, until after we fell for one another. Ultimately the stress of others judgement forced us to "break up." I moved away from her thinking this would end everything but nothing has changed. Whenever were together I tour connection is incredible, I truly love this girl. To answer your question, if it is love it is not wrong, because you can't help who you love and how you feel. You're not a freak or a weirdo, or some type of hillbilly (I'm currently in grad school) just bc you happen to love someone who is related. There is a big difference between being related and being family. My third cousin and I were never considered any kind of family, until we started dating. So live your life and be happy!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010):

Third cousins share as many genes as do total strangers. Unfortunately, people like to judge other people and let their ignorance of biology show when they criticize you or your relationship...

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A female reader, RedTulip Canada +, writes (8 April 2010):

Its strange im on the same boat. Its weird because I met my 3rd cousin when I was really young, a baby, so I obviously didnt remember him. But one day a few years ago I saw him, and thought he was checking me out. But when our parents embraced in a hug we were mortified!

I saw him again just last year and we figured out that we are the same. We absolutely have almost everything in common and he's easy to talk to.

I like him, there is no denying it- but im afraid of what my parents would say. They'd think it was gross or wrong, they are very old school.

But you cant help who you love... so I say do it.

Be happy and screw what anyone else thinks!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010):

My brother and cousin are in the same boat as you. I personaly thought it was really weird and first, but got over it. My mom thinks it's very messed up, but she will not say anything for fear of losing her son.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010):

Well he's your 3rd cousin so your not "that related"

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A male reader, Big Cal Suth United Kingdom +, writes (19 January 2010):

well i like my first cousin but iv not slept with her or that. However god says that you shouldn't have sex with close relatives, however it then goes on to list of what god considers close relatives and cousins are not mentioned. And as its your third cousin he is like less than 10% related to you. Anyway scientists have proven that cousins who have children have children who are 5% less likely to have problems. It dose not matter what your family thinks do what you think is right. Gods standards don't change only human standards change

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010):

Go to the website cousincouples.com and learn the facts people before you talk about stuff you have no idea about! I am deeply in love with my first cousin as she is me. Do you know you can marry in 25 states? Its NOT illegal to have a relationship with your cousin and it is in the Bible that God commanded a lot of cousins to be married? Albert Einsteins parents were first cousins...I recall him being very very smart. He also married his first cousin. Im not ashamed at all to be in love with my cousin! We plan on getting married soon! Now what priest in there right mind would marry cousins if it was illegal or morally wrong?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010):

The great ROCK AND ROLL LEGEND Jerry LEE LEWIS married his third cousin. And so did I...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

I agree I have been enjoying sex with my third cousin for a while now. But I have also been havind a relationship with her for a while. If you only been having sex then its wrong.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010):

i have sex with mine too its perfectly fine

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A female reader, madella rose United Kingdom +, writes (6 January 2010):

he's your third cousin so he's not realy related to you so it's not a problen

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A female reader, sheilane United States +, writes (29 November 2009):

I am in the same problem you are dont worry about what anyone else says if he makes you happy that is all that matters in the first place. I told my mom about me dating my third cousin and she was happy for me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009):

everyone has different opinions. But to be honest i dont think that people that havent expirienced something like this should be talking shit saying eww thats gross or anything that falls uder those catergories because you never know if it might happen to you..im in a relationship with my 3rd cousin & my mom doesnt care & neither does his mom but even they did who cares as long as your happy..thats all that matters

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009):

um...its not wrong. I have the same thing. If you want to, then do it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009):

I'm dating my third cousin and i love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009):

I think that if your cousin is hot, why not??? Theoretically, we are all related, who is to judge whether your relationship is inappropriate and what would they base that on? I say go for it and see what happens!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009):

well it depends on you, your 3rd cousin if you done the research right and he is your 3rd not a 2nd or a 2nd once removed is OK by law (you are far enough removed to get married), but it depends on your stance on things, for me I would never knowingly become involved with someone I'm related to but that's me, and should they have the same last name that would be even worse to me. but again if your OK with it have fun and best of luck :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009):

I am so relieved to know that there are so many people going through this...I met my 3rd cousin at work. I noticed him, and thought he was very handsome, but never approached him. One day, I noticed that he had a name tag on, so I figured, hey this is my chance to find out his last name (I am originally from a small town, so just to be on the safe side I try to find out about these things)anyways, it was my last name. I didnt think that there was a possibility that we werent cousins, being from the same county and all. So, I left it alone. Couple of months later I started dating his friend, who turned out to be a make whore, with out the money. One day he asked me about him, and I told him about all the games the dude had played with me, which was the reason I left him alone. Eventually, he and I began to call and text on a regular basis. I had even begun to date someone else and it had gotten really serious, but everytime my new guy and I argued, he was always there. Got to the point that my boyfriend began to check my messages and texts to see what he and I were always talking about. Things turned sour, and we broke up...guess what? My cousin was still right there for me. One night he asked me if I wanted to go out and I thought sure and I met up with him. At the end of the night after all of our other mutual friends had gone home, he kissed me. Then he started to tell me that he had wanted to do that almost since he met me. He told me that he thought about me all the time, and that he never wanted to say anything because he did not know how I would take it. I was totally shocked but it made so much sense to me...I mean why else would I get such a huge grin on my face whenever he would text me or call me??? That was last year, and we have been together ever since. My mom and his dad told us that we werent related but I could not leave well enough alone. I went to the Library and started researching his family history and BAMM there it was...his ggrandfather is my grandfather's uncle, making him my third cousin. Its so too late, cause I love him so much. There never has been an issue of embarassment or secrecy. It is what it is, I am with him and he is with me and I could not be happier. His family knows, and my family knows, and we have not talked about marriage, but it is definately NOT out of the question

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009):

I am in a situation like this but I feel so gud about mine. He is so special to me and I wouldnt want to loose him for nothing. People do disagree but I dont care because I love him just that much. Sometimes I feel its wrong but when I think about our love I know that its real. So if you and the same situation follow your heart and keep your head up.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009):

Are you sure you are a "third" cousin and not closer? A "third cousin" is pretty distant and only means that your great grandparents were siblings. Most state laws do not prohibit a marriage between even closer than third cousins and the Canon Law of the Roman Catholic Church basically leaves the permission for the sacrament of Holy Matrimony up to the pastor of the local parish to decide and they have no reason to decide against third cousins because the relative status is so distant. But are you sure you know what the definition of a "third" cousin is? All you have to do is call up a local county clerk to check local law on marriages permitted under state law if you do want to get married. If you are right about the word "third" cousin, that likely is not a problem. But just call to find out. Or call a pastor or priest since they go to school on both church and civil marriage laws and must answer questions like that all the time. What have you got to lose by doing the homework to find out?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009):

i have a similar story to one of these. me and my 3rd cousin recently started getting close on facebook. we started chilling a lot and decided to go out to a club one night , we got very drunk and i kissed him ... ever since then we hung out and discussed it and both came to a conclusion that we dont care...were not really close family and have hardly any relation as family. we both decided we dont feel wrong about it and always hang out and have sex now . im really starting to fall for him , but we dont think a relationship other then sexx would be possible.. our sex is great tho and i dont think it is wrong.. he is such a distant family member. if ur attracted , go for it ! no one can help how they feel and if its ur cousin u must have some real deep chemistry !

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009):

I love my 3rd cousin, never would have imagined it, of course my family doesn't know aboutit and not because we think its wrong its because they will think its wrong and we aren't ready to just get away from everyone.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009):

Well this depends on the view of the person hearing your confession. Personally, I fantasize about some of my cousins too (3rd cousins), and they tell me that they have about me too (but we have not taken it too THAT level). Some people think that it is morally wrong, which may be true, but if the LOVE is TRULY there then there is no right or wrong. Love has no boundaries. And as other people have said, it's not illegal, and if your parents or family don't like it, that's their problem.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2009):

where do i start?? i met my third cousin about two years ago. we recently started hanging out and at first we were just cousins partying together and we would enjoy eachothers company and then we couldnt get enough of eachother but none of us mentioned the attraction. one night we were drunk and we just started to talk about it. then we kissed. from there its all history. were in love and have been dating ever since. he told his parents and they are ok with it. but its still a secret to the rest of the family because we think that they might dissaprove. its not wrong right??

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009):

im scared like i really like my cousin like really like her and she is my third cousin . and it scares me i slept over her house we talked like for hours and i still talk to her online she is so nice to me i dont no what to do . shes like a best friend i never had . so anybody can tell me what to do

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A male reader, kawi6494 United States +, writes (23 August 2009):

Ok so Ive seen my cousin before and I always had some attraction to her, and one day she came over to my other cousins house and we were all wrestling in the pool and thats when I had a strong attraction towards her. Then my other girl cousins were telling me that she liked me and stuff, which is great for me since we are 3rd cousins. I dont know what to do because I dont know what everyone else will say like my mom or other cousins. I here 3rd cousins arent family?

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A male reader, lelouch5 United States +, writes (6 August 2009):

Hey listen i think it's really fine let me tell you my storry.

One day me and my hot female cousin where alone in the house because they were taking one of my aunts to the hospital because she was having a baby.Since me and my cousin were the only ones that didn't want to go so they droped her at my house. After they left we just saw tv then all of a sudden we started talking if we had our first kiss since didn't we decided to try on each other after we kissed we kept on kissing and kissing until she took my shirt then the rest of my clothes then we started kissing again then i took of my shirt. Finally we started to have sex and it felt good! since that day everytime where alone in the house we have sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009):

i think its ok my third cousin is a chick magnet and he is 3 years older then me but out of all the girls who like him he choses me our parents dont mind,were going on our third year together.

the only real thing that matters is that you love him. try sneakin it into a converstation see what they say if they dont like tell them to get use to it cause you love him

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A female reader, lachikitaO8 United States +, writes (27 June 2009):

No i dont think its badd; he isnt blood related either; if you love him an he feels the same way ; thats all that really matters; dont let the actions of another person tell you diffrent;.. ive ben toqethere with my 3rd cousin for a year now; no one really accepts us but somewhat a few; his mom and grandma accept me & my mom is startin to;

we do live far away from eachother but we do see eachother like every 7 months or so..we deeply in love.(:

but good luck; and its okayy; some people take everything

to the maxxx .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009):

I met my third cousion who is twenty eight now when I was ten years old and Im twenty now I have always felt a spark there even though I was young there was somthing there and I saw him once when I was ten then he moved to florida. well he just moved back about two months ago. and we have done nothing but hang out everyday and I still think he is hot and im really attracted to him and yes we had sex and honestly this is the happiest I have ever been in my life. we have so much in common we dont argue or disagree about anything. He also has four girls with his ex wife and him and the four girls have been living with me at my moms and I have got so attached to the girls and they left today not sure when they will be back mother got them..but my mother sees nothing wrong with it and honestly neither do I Because he is my third cousion which is one of my grandparents first cousions grandsons to me that really aint even classed as family...and we're only like 0.01% related really.. but I dont know how everyone else is going to take it the girls took it fine they loved the fact of us being together but his ex wife says its nasty and incest and in the bible incest is when you have sex with mother, father,sister,brother,half sister,half brother,or grandparents..It does not say that being with your cousions is wrong or is incest so It wouldnt be a sin...now I could see it if he was like my first or second cousion but third is distant...but im really happy for once in my life and he says he happier than he has ever been also, and he loves the fact that I fell in love with his kids and took up with his kids within two days and that just makes him even more happier cause he said he doesnt want to be with no one who will not like his kids and will have a problem with his kids and I love kids and I want three or four of my own what about that with a cousion how would that turn out i hear us being third cousions then it would be like a 2-3& chance of having a deformed or slow baby...I need some advice please help!! thank you very much!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009):

I don't think it is wrong it's not like it's your 1st cousin or anything and if u think u love him then u should continue on having sex with him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009):

I am 18 an my 3rd cousin is 22, we met over facebook we, started talking in Nov/2008. He didnt no we were consins at first, but I knew after talking to my family, but we continued talking after finding out we were cousin. He said I was very attractive to him an I thought the same to. After two months we had sex, an we started to fall in love wit one another. We started dating, an we are still dating an our family does not approve of it, an our religion does not approve of it but, we talked it out an decided that we will continue the relationship, reguardless of religion or family we love one another, and that is what really matters is that you love than have lost. Now we are older, an engaged an we still have alot of disapprovals, but we still love one another anyways.

From michelle22ems

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009):

some people may think it sick but.it left up to u to choose wheather it wrong or rite it ur third cousin an if u can't help it while being around each other an u got to do it it u life.like me i meet this girl 1 an we had sex an after i found out it was my 3cousin.an after dat she just wanted sex.the slightest chance we would get she wanna do something either she giving me a quick blowjob or even giving her a a quick analsex an when we got the time it long wild hot an dirty sex

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A female reader, Dissapointing-thought United States +, writes (17 April 2009):

I had Met My 3rd Cousin when i was 11 yrs. Old....we would spend the night over eachother house and everything...but a month after i turned 12 my breast and booty has started growen and i started to notice he used to stare at me alot...we go too the same school now so my mom drop us off and his dad(my Uncle)takes us home, but my mom doesnt get off of work untill 12:00am and i be there all night so one day it was just us two at home and he grabbe me from behind and started unbuttoning my pants and then he pulled them down and pushed me on the bed and he started playing with my clitterous area and asked me if i loved him...but i didnt say anything so he stuck his finger in my vagina and i screamed then he stopped and told me he was sorry he didnt know what got over him...i said it was fine but it hurt...this has ben going on for 3 years...im am now 14 years old and we had sex it didn't seem like a big deal until i was thinking about it and i just started crying and ever since then i have ben really feeling bad i've been locking myself in my room when he comes over I'am scared too talk to him about it because every time I See him i feel real disgusted because ot just ounce but twice he has talked me into doig something i really wasnt ready to do...so now im having nightmares and i cant look him in the eye and my mom keeps asking me why im not talking to him?? what should i do??

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008):

Hello last poster,

Let me start by saying, what an articulate post! I have known my 3rd cousin since she was born. I was maybe ...7?

I have never thought seriously about it but i am very attracted to her. Sure she's hot, but my girlfriend said "there is a lot of sexual tension there" since then, I have been thinking about her a lot. The sex would be rediculous but more than that, she may just make me happy (and I her)...really happy. She will be there for christmas tomorrow. I've never made an advance, but I think she may respond ...HELP! Funny thing but my family could take it either way. IE I'm a perv or they embrace it. Hmmmmmmm

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008):

I seem to be having the same problem. I met my 3rd cousin a couple of years ago at a family reunion a few years after I'd gotten married, of course! There was instant curiosity and almost instant attraction on my part, coupled with being married, and I behaved slightly callously.

Then, I met him again at the same reunion earlier this year, and the attraction was even more intense. I can tell that he likes me, though it could all be that he has no reason not to like relatives. But I could have sworn he kept his eyes on me. Anyway, he was gone later that same day.

I contacted him through a forum this year, and we've exchanged some relatively meaningless chit chat.

My marriage is very empty, and he is ever the constant bachelor (maybe a womanizer), but we do seem to share some interests and the clock is ticking for him. I'm a little younger.

I feel like if I pursue this it will lead to doom. If it didn't work, I'd be totally humiliated and probably lose my marriage (which boils down to not much more than simply stability for me), if not contained. This doesn't even begin to consider the great amount of guilt I'd feel for abandoning my husband, if all were successful. I know I'm getting way ahead of myself. I don't even begin to know if he feels anything like I do.

I just know that I'm not going to move beyond meaningful brief exchanges, because I'm not a complete fool. He's the one that's single with must less to risk than me. It's silly, but at the same time, It's agony, not doing anything about it out of fear.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008):

I have the same problem, me and my 3rd cousin met at our family reunion. The last time we saw each other we were little around 8 or 9. Well anyways we met and we started talking and getting to know each other, he left the next day and well after he left i relized i didn't want him to go. We talked everyday after that day,well i have thought if it was wrong and how to tell my family i wanted to be with him. He was scared because he didn't want to lose me to another guy. We love each other so much, and care for one another but we no people will not exsept it. I believe love is all that matters, nothing or nobody should stand in the way of that. God made us people and people love one another and it shouldn't be wrong.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008):

Unfortuanately you neglected to mention what country you came from or how old you and your cousin are. My advice is only for those who are overage and living in the UK.

There is no moral or legal reson to prevent you dating, marrying or having sex with your cousin, first, second or otherwise. Cousins in the UK are not seen as close relatives, but are seen as part of the extended family. Genetically however there may be a slight increased risk of deformity and thus it is wise to take advice from a doctor before you get pregnant.

Laws, customs and values may be different in other countries and thus this advice may not apply.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008):

what if its your first cousin?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008):

Love is love and thats all that matters. Trust your instincts. I am suprised to see that their is so much people in the world that feels like me. I dont know how it happened but I love my 3rd cousin to. I have been talking to her for a while now but she doesnt feel the way i do. She even told me "i cant make my self like you." i would of never imagined that i would be that person who is attracted to their cuzin infact that was the last thing on my mind. Now, it's like i'm goin insane because she doesnt feel the same and i have been trying to do everything i possible can do. It's like i'm trying to make her fall in luv with me. Day by day the situation just get's worst. I wish i would have never met her just because my life feels miserable and i cant stop thinking about her. I dont think my 3rd cuzin will ever feel how i feel. I would do anything to trade places with you because both of you have love for each other. Two people have to love each other for love to be considered love. Dont worry about what anyone says. Only worry about HOW U FEEL. Good luck

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A male reader, TruthBTold20 United States +, writes (5 May 2008):

Love is love and thats all that matters. Trust your instincts. I am suprised to see that their is so much people in the world that feels like me. I dont know how it happened but I love my 3rd cousin to. I have been talking to her for a while now but she doesnt feel the way i do. She even told me "i cant make my self like you." i would of never imagined that i would be that person who is attracted to their cuzin infact that was the last thing on my mind. Now, it's like i'm goin insane because she doesnt feel the same and i have been trying to do everything i possible can do. It's like i'm trying to make her fall in luv with me. Day by day the situation just get's worst. I wish i would have never met her just because my life feels miserable and i cant stop thinking about her. I dont think my 3rd cuzin will ever feel how i feel. I would do anything to trade places with you because both of you have love for each other. Two people have to love each other for love to be considered love. Dont worry about what anyone says. Only worry about HOW U FEEL. Good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008):

Love is love and thats all that matters. Trust your instincts. I am suprised to see that their is so much people in the world that feels like me. I dont know how it happened but I love my 3rd cousin to. I have been talking to her for a while now but she doesnt feel the way i do. She even told me "i cant make my self like you." i would of never imagined that i would be that person who is attracted to their cuzin infact that was the last thing on my mind. Now, it's like i'm goin insane because she doesnt feel the same and i have been trying to do everything i possible can do. It's like i'm trying to make her fall in luv with me. Day by day the situation just get's worse. I wish i would have never met her just because my life feels that miserable and i cant stop thinking about her. I dont think my 3rd cuzin will ever feel how i feel. I would do anything to be in your position where your cuzin loves you. Dont worry about what anyone says, trust your instincts and the best of luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

i think its perfectly fine as long as he's not blood related

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008):

Hi. my roommate got a pull and tug from his third cousin yesterday that he just found out about. is this gross? she called him later that night to go have casual sex, because they are in college is this ok? is this moral or criminally wrong? tell me so i can tell him. ps. is it ok if i bang her?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008):

First of all, its your 3rd cousin. Its not disgusting. Love is something that should be cherished and not based on sex. Love should be precious, treasured. I loved my 3rd cousin. Im not sure how our family would have reacted, we never had a chance to tell them. We broke it off before because he was worried that i'd get in trouble. Not a day goes by that i don't think about him, and think about whether we would've been happier together. Kinda difficult to lime around, especially around family.

Point is, i wished we never broke up.we never had sex, but our intimate life was bursting with sparks. a pyro display. If you love him, or her....i cnt tell you to be with him. But i would definitely stick it out. i regret letting him go, dont let urs go.

Broken Hearted**(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008):

the same thing that is happening to you is going on my life right know

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008):

i feel for ya. shits tough. go for it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008):

i dont think it is if yall really luv each other

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008):

i kind of the same problem i was really, really young like 6 or 7 years old and me and my cousin did something we weren't supposed to do and she a girl in my heart and soul i really regret it forom growing up in a neighborhood were you see this things and watching bad things on tv containing to it bit i'm not gay, i call it curiousity we didm' know about sex back then we thought we knew like practicing until we got boyfriends. i stoped doing it because i felt it was wrong and my grandmother is a big christian she say so many things about going to heaven and hell and i fear for my life that this maybe something i can't get forgiven for i confessed to god and my grandmother because i can trust her she told me the lord forgives you for any horrible sin that you've commited on this earth and i have i hard time trying to forgive myself for it because i think i might go to hell for it, know matter how many time i ask for forgiveness from the lord and i fell ashmed but thats why i want to get my life together i just wonder can i get forgiven for it and when i die not going to hell thats my biggest concern i fell like i'm not going to tell my family this is something tahts between me and god which i really fear.so saying this really help a little.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008):

hello girl..!! dis is britney!!.... just writing to say it is completly normal as i am going out with my 3rd cuz too!!... n at d start mine n hes parents didnt approve but now as they seen us as happy as we are nw dey are ok with it..!!! best of luck... and hope it works out well with you

BRITNEY xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008):

I have a daughter from my third cousin and for a minute I loved (or so I thought). I love my daughter very much and she's very smart and healthy. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I did a lot of research not only on the internet but in the Holy Bible and "NO WHERE" does it say it's wrong for third or even second cousin to be together. In fact it's incouraged in the Bible.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008):

well there is a saying that if you not close blood line cousin you can have sex and be together.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008):

yeah, i like my third cousin too. I'm not having sex or anything with her. She doesn't know.

I think it's just a small crush and these feelings mean nothing, but I can't stop thinking about her, it's driving me insane.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2008):

it is not wrong if he is your third cousin. second and first yes. but third you are okay.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007):

No it is not wrong to be married and have sex with your 3rd cousin. A third cousin is barely related to you. And is definitely not a blood relative genetically. However from a moral stand point it is fornication.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007):

If u want great advise listen here !!

I am also in a similar situation. My 2nd cousin and i have been together for almost a year !we confessed our love for eachother with out even knowing what we each had to say. since we were kids we just had this "thing" for eachother and it just grew from there. we're both 18 and have fought through all the drama and bullshit everyone has given us. My mom has simply given up. She now approves of our relationship and accepts the fact that he makes me happy. Shes more worried about my happiness than what everyone has to say. His parents on the other hand haven't given up. At least no yet!! People need to get their damn facts straight before they start mentioning anything about "deformed" or "retarted" babies, the chance of that happening is only 2-3 percent, the same percentage a woman over 35 would have if she were to get pregnat. Having relations with your cousin isnt incest, having sex with a brother, sister, parent, or grandparent is incest. READ THE BIBLE !!!!

Don't worry about what anyone has to say about you, they havent walked in ur shoes, they dont see what u see. those other people dont care about u ! You cant help who u fall in love with, and if anyone has ever been in love they should know what its like. what ur doing isnt WRONG !! being gay or lesbian is wrong !! once again READ THE BIBLE !!! if it was wrong then it would be illegal for cousins to get married, just like gay marriges are illegal. Do what YOU want not what EVERYONE else wants for u. Dont fall under pressure abd just be positive about everything =]

GOOD LUCK 3

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A female reader, GeorgiaTeenDriver007 United States +, writes (20 November 2007):

Yes its WRONG! Thats your blood relative.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007):

Yes it is messed up. Thats your blood relative.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007):

Hey,

I think its all right. I you like him then go ahead for all I care. If he was hot and I wanted to do it and he did too, I totally would have sex with him. But don't tell anyone about it like your mom because she probly will NOT aprove. But just make sure you aren't doing it only to be cool, do because you and only you want to have sex with him.

Jessica Hanley: I am 11 years old!

Bye

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007):

First cousins is wrong...2nd cousins is pushing it but third should be fine. i just met my third cousin and didnt know he was my third cousin...we like each other though. Its crazy how things work but third cousins are distant but anything before that is gross...In my case i hadnt ever met him before and started liking him before i knew

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007):

yes what would happen if you ended up pregnant. all these people are telling you its ok. but it has been known that even as distant as 3rd cousins having children they often are born retarted. and babies of couples who are related also sometimes are born with deformaties. whould you really want to put a child through that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007):

Do what you think it right, follow your heart. I am dating my 2nd cousin, and couldn't be happier.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007):

any cousin is a cousin and cousins are family. no way never do this! its gross! please do ur family a favor and stay far away from even the idea! how hard up are u to get with ur family anyway? go find one of the other 7 billion ppl in the world to get with ...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007):

Hi, my cousin who is my aunties son says he loves me and wants to have sex with me, i know that my mum wouldnt approve as she knows whats been said she would diss own me, i am 18 and he is 27 sometimes i think is this right as he seems like a real nice guy and i want to tell him i might want sex with him but i dont know if this is completly wrong and whether it is worth the risk. I dont want to be one of those people think are weird and there would be no going back on sumthing like this, can you tell i am confused?? I think that your family would disaprove if they are anything like mine.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

Don't get Love and Sex confussed here. Great SEX can make you think you are in love. Third cousins are actually pretty distant. Through out history marriages were arranged between cousins.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007):

It is alright, third cousins are less than 0.01% related by blood.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007):

I am in love with my third cousin. He is one of my grandparent's first cousin's grandsons. I met him last year for the first time on some party. I was very reserved at the beginning although I liked him very much. A year later, i feel like I cant resist him any more. Nobody objects for the two of us being together, not even my mum. So I ve decided to go for it. We are gonna be such a wonderful couple. Am I crazy?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007):

hey if you love him,its alright and if you think what your doing is wrong well then what i did is really wrong because i've slept with my first cousin onced removed several times (was drunk most of the time)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007):

no, i don't think it is wrong

you can't help who yo fall in love with can you?

and it is impossible for other people to think they no how it feels even if they are/have been in love with their family members, they are not you, and they are not your cousin. furthmore they don't know either one of you, so trying to tell you to stop is totally out of order.

don't worry what anyone else thinks of your relatonship.

do what makes you happy

do what makes your cousin happy

i think that you should concentrate more on yourself and you own happiness rather than that of the people around you.

as a familys love for one another if supposed to be unconditional, so if you mom and yor auntie truelly love you, they will forgive you/accept it in time.

you just have to be patient.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007):

Well...if I wasn't in a somewhat similar situation, I would say it's wrong. But, really, you aren't that closely related, right? In fact, at anytime, we could be running into someone that we're related to someway somehow and not even know it. I'm 15 and actually have a crush on my third cousin, who is 14.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007):

yes i think its ok do if you want to

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007):

No problem. it's normal all right.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2007):

I am thinking about my third cousin a lot i know i wouldnt do this with my first or second but he is so damn cute. So i decided to go for it so should you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007):

I have a friend well an ex bf!Me and him were dating for about a month and then he thought we were cousins well far away but we ain't Because my family says we ain't but his says we are because his family thinks they know everything!But well forget about that well my mother told me that third cousins are NOT blooded! The closest cousin there is,is a 1st!that's a blooded cousin and 2nd is only half a blooded cousin!So Don't worry It's okay to date your 3rd cousin as long as your not blooded!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007):

no, if he is sexy, you can't help it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007):

i dont think its wrong, ive been dating a boy for a while but we only found out we were third cousins and he broke up with me, but i think 3rd cousins are not close family .if you 2 are happy with it dont listen to what anyone thinks.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007):

Well It i Not Wrong I Have Two Cousins That went out with Their Third Cousins! Third Cousins are Pretty Far away from Each other!They're not Completely Blooded!Firts Cousins are The Closest!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007):

It's only incest when you have sex with:- Mother, father, brother, sister, half brother, half sister and grand parents. Other than that, it's legal and OK. Third cousins are distant enough for it to be inconsequential but it's just that people are so narrow minded they cannot accept it easiliy. They instantly think "incest" when they have no idea what they are talking about. I am in love with my 3rd cousin. She has a boyfriend and I'm married. We're both unhappy. We've only kissed, nothing else and that's the way it will probably stay. I long to be with her. And she will always have a special place in my heart.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2007):

im sleeping with my 3rd cousin also and we came out and told the family that were together... we came out like a month ago so ppl are still pissed about it but deep down i dont really give a shit what anyone else thinks coz i love her with all my heart and nothing anyone else says will change that so dont stress bout it 3rd cousins are so distant it dusnt matter.

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A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2006):

bonym agony auntWell I dont like to use terms such as "sick" and "gross" etc when it comes to describing the actions of others but I always say this: "If I have to ask wether or not something is bad, it must be" What I mean is, if you are questioning what you are doing then you must deep down think that something is wrong with it. If I am questioning whether doing anything is wrong, then someone deep within me, I think its wrong, or a bad idea.

Me personally, a cousin is a blood relative being 1st, 2nd or 3rd, and I wouldnt have sexual relations with a blood relative but my dear I cant make choices for you and tell you whats right and wrong, your conscience will do that for you. Take care. xXx

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A female reader, Astrid Spain +, writes (27 August 2006):

Astrid agony auntIt is not important dear go on if you like the boy

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006):

then what is it if hes my dads 1st cousins grandson?

what makes him to me then??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006):

personally i do not think its wrong.

if he is too close to your blood line

then yes maybe a bit too weird.but you

shouldnt stop just because other people

tell you to stop or if people tell you

thats is disgusting.you cant always live by

what other people tell you to so.everyone always

tells you to follow your heart.so do it?

im in the same situation,except the person im

with,he's far distant to my bloodline..WAY FAR-

thank lord.cause he is the most facinating human on

earth.hehehe,SO BASICALLY dont listen to anyone here!

EVEN ME! do what you want/need to.if you truly love

him be with him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006):

If you feel the need to hide then I will say that you are doing something wrong.

Most people do things in secrecy to conceal a fact about them that they know to be wrong, immoral.

If you can not openly come out with your relationship; that says it enough.

You are having doubts; go with your gut instinct.

End it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006):

If you feel the need to hide then I will say that you are doing something wrong.

Most people do things in secrecy to conceal a fact about them that they know to be wrong, immoral.

If you can not openly come out with your relationship; that says it enough.

You are having doubts; go with your gut instinct.

End it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006):

ive always frowned upon incest, incest is such an ugly word!!! but no matter how tempted u mite b to have some form of romantic relationship with your cousin, or any other family member, if you actualy sit and think about it, it is wrong i guess. my cousin(now 26 years old) told me he fancied me first when i was 14 (im now nearly 20) and it wasn't spoke about for years then recently he told me again but he explained how he felt about me. we have always been close and we get on incredibly well together, we have lots in common and its quite ironic as we are both kind of the black sheep of the family for different reasons. if he was not a family member then by now something would have probably happened but despite how keen he appears to be for it to i would never allow it for the pure fact that he is family, my mums sister gave birth to him, its just not right. some things just need to remain a fantasy, put it this way, if you had a close bond with your pet hamster, you wouldnt feel the urge to have sex with it (ok bad example - but you see where im coming from?). me and my cousin do have a close bond and get on well, but thats all it will ever be and we have chose to be civilised and not let a silly fantasy ruin a good thing.

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A male reader, jjaayy +, writes (25 June 2006):

When I was younger (im 52 now), I dated my cousin and had some freaky out door sex with her. And like you I started to fall in love with her (RACHEL ????) AND WHILE WE WERE AN ITAM we never knew we were related by blood and first cousin's untill mother's day in California, Norwalk. I was invited to her aunt lived and also was expected at my aunts house to bee with my grandma. I agreed with Rachel to attend her familie's mother's day and go to my aunt's house too.. To make a long story short, it supprised us that my aunt and her aunt were each other's. We never told our families and after being their for awhile, rachel ask if I could give her a ride home? as it was her boyfriend that had her car. We left and rented a motel for the weekend and fucked our ass's off. for the last time. But we made love and not just fuck. I don't feel you should denie yourself an emotion that God Gave you. Stay in touch. Joe

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2006):

Being with your cousin is LEGAL -NOT ILLEGAL- in my country anyway (UK) look it up on Google if you dont belive me!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2006):

This is strange, but not necessarily wrong. Saying that you are too closely related to your 3rd cousin [for sex] is close to saying you're too closely related to just about anyone (no matter what you believe in genisis or evolution, this is true; you are related to everyone. I wouldn't start a relationshipp with my cousin, but since you're already in love, I wouldn't try to stop it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2006):

You know who the most famous married third cousins in the world are?? Queen Elizabeth II and her husband Prince Phillip!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2006):

its wrong because even tho he is kind of distant he's still your family and he still is your cousin so u guys have to stop wat your doing its wrong.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2006):

Your third cousin is pretty distant. You DO know what a third cousin is right? If you do, then you would know that your third cousin is one of your grandparent's first cousin's grandsons. Is this the case? If it is, I don't really see what the problem is as it's fairly distant. If you are of the common mistaken belief that a third cousin is your mom's first cousin's kid, then you might have an issue, as that would be your second cousin. Regardless, if you really are in love I don't see why they would stand in the way. You're pretty fortunate to know your third cousin. I don't know ANY of them!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2006):

that is definatly wrong, stop having sex with your family, there are billions of people out there

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006):

no at least u didn't get with child u can't help how u feel i love my cousin and i wish i could turn my feeling off no one knows how u feel but you don't be ashamed

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006):

Faders_girl

You contradicted yourself! if there isn't anything wrong with it..then your parents shouldn't of had any kind of problem with it. It took them sometime to get used to the idea that you two were together. It would be interesting to know how the rest of the entire family feels?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006):

I guess its okay if your a hillbilly and have no one else around! This does not need education..sex between family members is not right no matter how distant the cousin is!

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A female reader, Faders_Girl United Kingdom +, writes (15 January 2006):

Faders_Girl agony auntits not wrong at all i am with my cousin and we have been with eachother for a year and a half, it is not illegal and i have never been so happy. it comes with alot of problems, like ur parents not agreeing, but if u 2 r really serious, they may start to accept it later down the line, my mum accepted it at first then his mum accepted it a couple of months back, so i wish u all the luck in the world :)

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A female reader, Angelface +, writes (15 January 2006):

Ignore that answer. Your 3rd cousin isn't really classed as family. If your enjoying yourself then carry on. As long as no one gets hurt in the process then follow your heart x x x

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A female reader, Dawnest +, writes (15 January 2006):

Sex with cousins is not wrong but in the Victorian era it was frowned on because of the liklihood of any children being born with genetic defects through the closeness of your family history.

Third cousin is far removed from first cousin so enjoy your time together and dont worry about disapproval from others.Its only lack of knowledge that makes people go tch! tch! disgusting!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2006):

Having sex with a family member is called incest.

Yes,of course its wrong, and if your Mum and auntie found out I'm certain they would be shocked for one, and definately upset and angry with the both of you!

You and your cousin need to stop doing this! What would happen if you were to become pregnant? Have you even considered this? Whatever he is telling you..don't buy into it. Of course he is going to tell you he loves you to try and manipulate you and get you into bed! You already are feeling guilty and down about it after the fact. Listen to your gut instinct!

It is totally wrong and you both need to stop!

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