A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:[Mod note - both were from the same poster, so have combined both]Q1:I have been in this relationship for a few months now, and our life inside the bedroom is so drab.I am not even aroused any more. She will start to initiate and I quickly lose interest. I know this is probably horribly offensive, and I am sure that she is really hurt by all of this. But I dont know what else I can do. Its just bad, bad sex. Its routine, its not passionate. Its not lust, its just... there .. like a lamp. I really care about her, and thats why this is so hard.Readers.. I DESPERATELY need suggestions and a remedyQ2:I dont know how to phrase this without being vulgar. So at best attempts My girlfriend wants me to perform oral on her, which I have no problem doing. At first, she didnt shave, which was really inconvieninet. Finally, she does that, and her nether regions have a very unpleasant fragrance. Its really really awkward... I mean how do you politely request a remedy for that. I cant be rude and decline when she wants oral.. But its so bad. Anyone got a thought...
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female
reader, linz09  +, writes (28 August 2009):
 Be honest about how you're feeling, she knows something is the matter anyway if your not acting on her advances, this will make her feel really rejected and low causing her to have low self esteem...so how can you expect her to be jumping of the wardrobe when you're behaving like that towards her.Instead of making her feel bad and for you to feel you're not enjoying the sexual side of your relationship..I would suggest you discuss it with your girlfriend, like suggesting new positions, or different places to have sex...take the initiative in the bedroom and inject some fun into your sex life..as for the other problem,well you're gonna have to say something but be nice about it and tell her how much you care about her, I mean she might have a water infection which often causes that problem... if your boyfriend can't tell you about stuff like that who can! Your the one's that getting up close and personal with her. Take care, be sensitive, and most of all be kind.(:
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): I would advise seeing a doctor, just to rule out any medical concerns (for you-- i.e. is your lack of arousal emotional or physical), and ask him or her to recommend a sex therapist. If you still feel love for her, it's worth doing. A sex therapist can also give advice about improving her personal aroma! You might want to bring it up gently to your gf that you're concerned she might have a vaginal infection, and that she should go see her doctor and get it checked out. It's probably treatable. If that doesn't help, maybe get creative? I've heard that peppermint mouthwash (for her and you) is amazing (haven't tried it yet myself!) A sex shop might also have flavoured gels that could be fun.
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