A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.. i need some opinion on what happened right now. I need advice and opinon as much as possible as people has various personal opinion which i need right now. Currently 3 months pregnant and this pregnancy brings changes a lot for me. I learnt to be more ignorant with negative things happened around us. The only negative things is my mother in law. She is very complicted. I dont understand her. I will try to explain what happened without blaming her or defending myself:- she demands respect, so i greet her everymorning but she seldom reply me back. Like i just never exist. I still greet her everymorning when we meet. This will happen especiallywhen i greet her in front of other people. - there is once when i greet her then as usual she ignore me then i when i want to went home i told father inlaw that im going home and not told her. Actually shes just standing beside him and im in hurry. The next thing is she called me when i arrived home and say im so disrespectful. Says what will happen if she told my dad what i did and my dad should be very upset (she is threathening me because she knows i love my dad so much and never will told him about what im going trough because i dont want to upset him and she used this) and also she say its a duty for me to greet her eventhough she ignore me (indirectly she admit she ignore me on purpose)- my husband asked me to go home everymorning so that i dont need to deal with his mom. He knows how his mom is. He told her as im pregnant right now i should go home and just be happy at my home with my family. Do what i love. So i went home in the morning and go back there after dinner. - his mom dislike this. She hates the idea of me going home everyday but cant say anything. So she backstab me. Talk bd about me. She says to my husband that your wife is living in hotel. Going home only for sleep. My husbnd say please be kind and not very controlling. - the reason we still live in her house is because we arent financially stable yet. My husband business is having some trouble and we are sort of money. So when i go to my doctor my husband need some money she angrily says he had his own business why still take money from them for your wife. She says my husband never help her business and shouldnt take money from them. Then my husband say okay he will help them tommorow. She proceed to pressure him again and accused him doing drugs. Thats when my husband get enough and say okay i will make it real. Then she says he is very rude. Then my husband say enough. He doesnt want to live with them anymore. It happen when im not there and my husband told me if i dont want to go home its okay because he doesnt want to go home either. But i still go home becaus ei think its their mom and son problem that i shouldnt get involved in.- she once tell my husbnd dont use their money for buying meals as he has his own income. Then i buy our own food and when im eating she pass me. I keep eating without greeting her. She takes that as insult. She said i disrespect her doesnt asking her to eat. - a little bit about my background. My family are far far more wealthy than his parent. We expect that his parent will treat me well because of this. And as my husband is the only son he should be the love of their life. We are wrong. My parent never underestimate their status and my dad is very respectful to eberybody including them but its funny that her mom kinda underestimate us. She thinks she is more powerful or kinda smarter than us maybe idk?- i got my own house just nearby their house. My dad give it to me as wedding gift. Since our wedding ive been through so much insult and bullying from his mom which i never told my family. But since i know i pregnant i dont want to handle this stress myself anymore. And since his mom threathen me if my dad know about this he would be upset then i decide im the one who tell him first before her. To my surprise, my father seems accepting the fact and support me. My parent help me to renovate the house so that i can move out whenever i want as the house is ready to live. I dont know how to thank my parent anymore. - my parent tell me to keep respecting them and if we want to move out we should do it kindly without a fight. Im not sure tht will happen smoothly.- my husband meet financial crisis now. Has trouble with his business and we need support from either his prent or mine. Im still unsure how to tell my parent about this. - as i went home everyday, she ask the driver to sends food for me several times a week. Looks like she is caring but just on that day i know he told my husbnd that im like living in hotel and ignorant to him. Theres still much if i want to tell you guys. But it will be a long story. What do you guys think? Is she is the problem?now i feel more relaxed as i get support from my family and husband. Im asking here for advice if im doing the right thing? Should i tell my parent our financial crisis and get more help again? I wish i never brings problem to my parent. They help us too much than i deserve..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2018): You should just move in with your parents and ignore the old witch.When you have that baby get a job and then you can move into the house your parents got you.If your husband will not leave his mommy move without him.
A
female
reader, malvern  +, writes (23 March 2018):
 Your mother-in-law seems like a very ignorant and unhappy woman. She's the one with the problem and not you. For your own sanity you need to keep reminding yourself of this because you are doing nothing wrong. All you can really do is continue to be courteous and polite because that way nobody can ever accuse you of being rude. Everybody will see you as lovely person and everybody will see her as a very rude woman. If you are never rude to her then she can never have any foundation to say anything bad about you. Your husband needs to face up to his own mother instead of letting her drag you down all the time. I cannot understand why you don't both live in the house your father bought for you, surely it must be costing you a lot of money to run it? The problem seems to be your husband who can't let go of his mother. He's a grown man now, not a little boy and he needs to live his own life. Are you saying that if he leaves the family home then his parents will not support him financially? If so then that's a type of emotional blackmail. You both need to get away from your over bearing mother-in-law and live your own lives whatever the consequences. You may find that his mother improves her attitude towards you once you are gone. If she doesn't then what have you got to lose? It doesn't sound like either of you will particularly miss her anyway. Better to be poorer and happy and respected than live the life you are living with this disgruntled woman.
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