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I'm happy with the way things are, but she is talking marriage and babies

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 September 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 September 2018)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have been dating a girl for 7 months now, due to my working hours and her studying at college, we only see each other 2-3 times a week. I am happy with the relationship the way it is because I like my space and time to myself, however she is beginning to talk about having children and getting married in the future and I'm not sure if I want those things with her. What should I do?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 September 2018):

Honeypie agony auntYep, end it and let her go.

You two are NOT on the same page or in the same book.

Nothing wrong with discovering that you are not as compatible as you had hoped.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (20 September 2018):

CindyCares agony aunt Be honest.Don't string her along. I agree that's she is coming on way too strong after 7 months of dating, and she should chill a bit, then again if this is the way she feels, it would be cruel and dishonest of you just going with the flow out of convenience and leading her to believe that you are emotionally on the same page, when you are not. One can also lie by omission.

I'd tell her that you like your relationship as it is now, but, as of now, you can't say if it is going somewhere and if you see a future together : and let her decide. If she wants to stick around and see if she " grows " on you, or if she prefers to call it quits right now and not to risk wasting time.

By the way,IMHO, she would be most probabaly wasting her time. Because not only you are not keen on getting married now, which is understandable at your still young age, but you are not keen on marrying HER. In a way, it is true that when you find the right one you just know it . I say " in a way " , because when you find someone who feels absolutely special and unique too- then you still have to check if you are compatible on a number of issues, like sex, money, children, personal space, religion.. just to name a few of the issues which can break even the most made-in -heaven of the matches. But I get the feeling that you are not too enthusiastic to begin with. You are just not in love. It's because it's too early and you still do not know each other well ? It's because you are still in bachelor mode and need to warm up to the idea of committment ?... Who knows. That's up to her to evaluate. But she should be able to make an informed decision. Which she can't do if ,when she brings up marriage and babies, you just stay quiet or sheepishly change subject.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (20 September 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntBreak up. Let her find someone who does want that in the future and, after 7 months, can see it with her - not immediately, but in their future.

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