A
female
age
30-35,
*nochord
writes:My boyfriend Jonah and I , have been together for a little over a year. We've had our ups and downs, but I love him very much, and he says he loves me too. He's a kind man, and very much like a child.This boyish part of him was what I fell in love with, he was so simple, and full of joy, and ready to give and receive love indiscriminately. But now I see that this is not a boy, but a man whose childish qualities don't fit in a mature relationship.What was once whimsy, has turned into capriciousness.What was once not settling for anything but the best, turned into not getting anything, because the best is out of reach. Etc.The list of problems we have boils down to one thing that I think makes or breaks any relationship, communication.We don't live together (another thing that isn't spoken about) but I do wife things, cook a nice meal, make love to him every chance we get, keep him comfortable as he sleeps, but when I try to start a conversation it's like a chore for him, and he makes it clear I'm annoying him by asking how his day was, or how his mom is, or anything simple, so imagine his refusal to speak when it's deeper subjects.Is it time for me to break up with this man-child, or what should I do to engage him? Thank you for any answer.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): He is not respecting you and you are treating him well ignoring his bad behavior. It is time for you to have a break. Stop mothering him and stop being his sexual partner.If after this time he has not improved then perhaps you have received your inevitable communication from him.It sounds to me like now you realize who it is the man you caught really is and that until now infatuation had clouded your good judgment. Act accordingly with the insight you have given yourself.
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