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I'm getting the point where I just feel used for sex.

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 April 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 11 April 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *avary writes:

So ive been dating this guy for 8 months on and on. But not going out.

He says he wants to be single but we cant see other people. Of course it sketchy to me. But we've been hooking up all the time.

And im getting the point where i just feel used for sex. Im seeing him tontite and im wondering what i should say or do? Like should i continue with him.

Maybe it become something more? Or am i just being dumb. Or should i reject him. If so what should I say?

The sad part is that i really do love this guy.

I lost my virginity to him.

HELP?

View related questions: lost my virginity

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A male reader, Rhandy Philippines +, writes (11 April 2009):

Rhandy agony auntWill i can relate your question regarding my experience.

We have a LDR with my fiancee right now and do the fact that we are very far sometimes i ask him what she wants during in bed, what i want and what she wants, im consider myself that i have high sex drive that every time if we have time i love making sex with her very much not because i have higher sex drive but because i love her very much.

And one thing i can remember is that 3 months ago she ask me that maybe i love her because of sex or used her? but the truth is i love her very much, just happen that every time we have time i love doing it to her.

Maybe the best things you must do is to make sure that he really loves u and not a sex buddy. Please figure out i know you know if the guy loves u.

Hope it help.

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A female reader, Teenage-Rebel United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2009):

Teenage-Rebel agony auntif you dont want to do it then say no.

If he keeps asking you although you dont want to. tell him you have had enough and if that doesn't work then end it with him cause you don't deserve to be used.

You should be with a guy who cares and loves not with someone who is using you.

do what you think is right but personally i think by the sound of him. he isnt worth it and you should really break up with him cause there will be someone better than him who will not use you but will see you for who you are and love you for that.

for Your personality not for sex.

hope this helps

good luck

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A female reader, azcats United States +, writes (10 April 2009):

As for the comments below:

Im not very sure about giving him ultimatums. Those usually backfire on you. Instead, you can ask him why he wants to stay single and what he means by it, then make your decision if you want to deal with it or not and tell him.

What should you say to him tonight?

hmm... your on your period, youre not in the mood, change the subject and tell him you suddenly want to go for ice cream, movie, whatever but overall try not to be in a place where you can do the deed. ie. stay away from the bedroom.

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A female reader, Favary United States +, writes (10 April 2009):

Favary is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yeah Im like 16 lol and so is he

so i know its not going to clubs lol.

But like idk what exactly to say to him tonite?

Like i brought it up before and he seemed to get mad that i thought he was using me.

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A female reader, Favary United States +, writes (10 April 2009):

Favary is verified as being by the original poster of the question

So like what should I say to him when he tries something tonight?

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A female reader, azcats United States +, writes (10 April 2009):

Spend time with him but dont sleep with him and you'll know if he likes you for you or for convenience. Do you only see him in the bedroom or do you go out with him and his friends? If he is not including you in his activities and hiding you from the people he knows, then he's not serious about you.

Men can be selfish until you set the standards. If he cares about you, he will budge slowly. Ask him what he means by single. It sounds like he's young and he may just mean that he also wants time to act out with his friends and let boys be boys. If he means going to the clubs without you so he can possibly hit on girls, well, thats another thing and hes not worth your time or love.

Overall, trust your instinct even if its not what you wished for.

Best of luck!!!

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