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I'm gay but falling in love with a woman

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 March 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2010)
A male Ireland age 30-35, *udos writes:

Hi, I am a gay man. In my life i've never been sexually attracted to a woman, only men. My dilemma i now I think I am in love with a woman. Im not sexually attracted to her but I believe I love her. Is this normal?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010):

Hi. I know exactly where you are coming from. I certainly hope this is normal. I am living your current situation. I know my gay friend is my soul mate. I have never connected to anyone ever before like I have with him. I honestly believe that you probably do love her. The question is, where do you go from here?? Can you completely commit to her and if you do will she be enough. Lets face it, she cannot give you everything you need physically. Please do yourself a favor and think this completely through before you make any serious moves with her. I would never be able to handle losing my gay best friend. You may be just as happy staying friends. It may not be worth losing her over.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010):

I am on the other end of your situation. I am in love with a gay man who I know loves me. We are both way too afraid to say anything. He is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. The love I feel for him is deeper than anything I have ever experienced. We just clicked instantly from the beginning. I am sorry if this has become about me. I just think you need to tell her how you feel. I would give anything for my friend to tell me how he feels. I am so afraid of losing him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010):

Honesty is always the best policy and if you are confused about your feelings you should discuss it with her. If she knows your gay she may be too afraid to confront you. Don't worry about it being normal or not. Love transcends norms. I'm actually going through something similar. All I can say is it's best to take that risk. Who knows you might actually become sexually attracted to her.

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (26 March 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntBeing in love means sexual attraction witha foundation of friendship. Do you have any sexual attraction at all, or do you just love her in a sisterly way?

Remember, most people are NOT 100% gay, straight, or bisexual. You've heard of the Kinsey scale, right? If not, Google it. The theory behind the Kinsey scale is that sexual orientation is not absolute; rather, there's a continuum. Most people fall into one of the grey areas.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010):

Maybe she is your soulmate, bcos you don't have to be lovers to be soulmates, right? I love my best friend, he knows me as well as my mother but the love is incredibly different than the love I have for my guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010):

I have no idea what SOL is but I also think that u can be good friends with her. If she is attracted to u thn ul be leading her on as she may want a sexual rship at some point, so be her best friend not her boyfriend.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (25 March 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntWhy is that a dilemma? You can be best of friends. But you most likely are SOL if she's looking for some romance. Normal? Who knows and who cares.

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A female reader, Tasmanian devil United Kingdom +, writes (25 March 2010):

Tasmanian devil agony auntIt might just mean your, bisexual. However have a good long think about how you love her, if your 100% gay then maybe your reading to much into it and think/love her as a friend. Its quite unusual that you don't feel sexually attracted to her, most people feel this towards there loved ones, even if they aren't percieved as attractive, this could be a sign of you misreading your feelings

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010):

Babe, my best friends gay and i love him more than anything else in the world.

Less than two hours ago he told me that he knew he would never be physically attracted to a woman but he wanted to have sex with a woman at least once.

He's completely obsessed with a boy at our college but he then told me he's in love with me so yes i think it is possible...

maybe its a case of you dont lovea man or woman its the person you love :)

But yeah its difficult, everyone gets a bit confused (including me) but its been known that every guy has on girl they love more than anything and that they go straight for (:

hope this helps xxxx

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A female reader, Entirely Unique United Kingdom +, writes (25 March 2010):

Entirely Unique agony auntI'm not sure anyone could really define normal as to each of us different things are normal going by what we feel is normal or right for us.

I think you just have to follow what feels right and trust your feelings on this.

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