A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone hope you can help.me and my boyfriend have been together a very long time now, we are very much in love and happy..however! we seem to never ever have sex and when we do it doesnt last very long and its usually rubbish and then we dont do it again for another few months, my partner used to have sex with me all the time at the start of the relationship. he doesnt now im sick of being the one coming on to him (making the first move), and him being like no, im tired or what ever its got me so fustrated please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (9 October 2015):
 He might have a low sex drive and need actual medical help with a medical condition. It is possible he is also depressed or stressed, both of which are reasons that people can go off of sex. Boredom is an issue, too, if the guy is usually into it and seems lacking now, it might just be that you are going through a phaze and need to spice it up a little.
One thing i will say is that you won't know unless you ask, and communication is really the key to any good relationship, sexual or otherwise. Ask him and see what he says and go from there!
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (9 October 2015):
Hello My dear,
One of the reason your boyfriend may not be into sex as much could be related to porn...how often he watches it, and how often he masturbates. In other words, if he is getting satisfied somewhere else, that leaves little room for you.
However, lets look at it from a normal relationship point of view.
Most couple who have been together for awhile tend to lose interest in sex over time...Why?? Comfort!!! You both get comfortable at the fact you no longer have to chase after each other to be in a relationship.
Men are chasers...We are the women hunters...always have been. A lot of women get upset when their man looks at other women...fact is, that is what we do...and if we stop doing it...you get your relationship and most relationships out there. Imagine a lion...proud hunter and stalker. Locked up in a cage for years and what happens? It loses it's ability to be the top predator. Same as a man...When a woman stops being the object of his desire, he loses interest in chasing her...in trying to get her into bed.
When is comes to sex...women have all the power. The problem is...most women do not realize this. They complain their partner is not as interested in sex as them...but ask yourself this...What are you doing to make him come after you???
If you are the one going to him, what does that say about you? It says you are not using your womanly skills to get him to chase you. When I say womanly skills, I mean to flirt, slow roast your man all day long, thinking sexy, being sexy, and make him want you from across the room. Believe it or not, many women have no idea how to use their womanly skills.
Think of your man like a hungry dog...does the dog go and get it's own food? NO...it waits for you to put the food in a place it can get it right...But here is the important part...If the dog is hungry and you hold the food and walk around the house...what happens?? The dog will follow you everywhere. So think of your sex like food for a hungry man, and how do you make your man hungry. You find ways to let him know you have food...flirt...tell him what you want to do to him or have him do to you...slow roast...Let him see your underwear, a little skin here and there, a look that says exactly what you are thinking. You do this all day...by the night time...he is hungry. He has been hearing about food, seeing food, and know he was a taste of that food. :)
Having sex is easy...how you get to the sex...that is the part that will break or make a relationship.
Give him reasons to come after you...don't just hand it over. Do people hand over a pay cheque to you for no reason??? You have to work for it right?? No difference.
GOD created men to chase women...a perfect balance. How?? When a woman is using you sexy womanly ways to get her man's attention, and he is all over because of it...how do you think she feels?? She feels sexy, loved, respected, and empowered. He feels like a kid in a candy store. But when she is ignored by her man...how do you feel? Like you are not good enough, disrespected, unloved, and not sexy.
So you see...Women have always hard the power...they have just be listening to all the crap in this world about what men like and don't like. We want to hunt you...give us a reason to do so.
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A
male
reader, oneguy +, writes (9 October 2015):
 It is very much possible that boredom has set into your boyfriend's mind. It is also possible that he doesn't like something about you and is unable to tell you that, and instead, is avoiding you because there isn't much else he could do. It is possible that you yourself haven't been watching yourself and take certain things about him for granted, or that you don't make any effort anymore to excite him or charm him. You need to sit down with him and ask him these questions and talk to him. You need to expect that he either says little or nothing, or says something you totally do not expect to hear, either angrily or otherwise. Whatever be the case, you must both talk, candidly, and caringly, and figure out your mutual needs, and make careful and sustained efforts to give each other happiness in your lives, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.
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