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I'm fine with being friends, but he is sending mixed signals!

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have had this guy friend for about 4 months. We are just good friends that hangout and have a good time together, and great friends that we have classes together at school (college).

I had begin to develops feelings for him because we were hanging constantly and having generally a really good time together. He's met my family, (prior to meeting my family he was really excited to meet them because by me describing them to him, he said they seemed awesome). Friends I've never met knew who I was because he would say he was with me when talking on the phone. So, I figured maybe he talks about me a lot to his friends....does that mean he likes me??

So, I took the courage to tell him I liked him. He kinda laughed it off and said he knew. But, no response back towards saying he felt the same way. I just left it at that. I figured, okay....maybe he just wants to be friends. Some friends he calls me by my name "Jessica" or to others he'll call me his homegirl.

We finally had a talk and he just wanted to be friends.

His response, "I know how it is to like someone and then want to be friends. It sucks and I don't want to do that to you".

I was but confused by his text.

But things to me prove other wise. He complements my hair, how I look or even says complements about the anatomy of my body. Saying, I have a nice body and etc. He's often asked numerous times if guys are checking me out. And...After all he was the one that wanted to one of the classes with me at school.

I'm fine with being friends....but, the guy is sending mixed signals if he wants to be "just friends". I think sometimes he may be insecure, he's asked me if I thought he was a loser? Which, baffled me.

He's a great friend and I'm happy to be his friend. I guess my question is does he like me? Or am i reading too far into his guestures or comments? Help....

View related questions: insecure, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

So, I've took the advice that has been given and I having just reminding myself that we're just friends. But, the other he came over to my house to do homework. Which then turned into hanging out because he didn't want to do homework. It was getting not too late but I made plans to hangout with my friend (prior to this he said he was hanging with his friend later too in conversation) I told him I had to get going and he ask, "where are you going?" I responded with, hanging out with my friend. He said, "who's your friend?" I told him, "who's your friend?" and then he goes I'm hanging out my friend jake at the dorms...who's your friend? I said, "just a close homie". I was a little annoyed like I had to check in with him what I was doing? It seemed strange to me.

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (1 March 2015):

I think he is accustomed treating you this way and if he says he just wants to be friends then I honestly think that there isn't more to read. Perhaps the spark isn't there for him or he is just one of those different persons who doesn't always have their tongue hanging out.

Refrain from making excuses for his rejection. Don't hesitate to meet new guys and new friends, after all this is what life is about.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 February 2015):

Honeypie agony auntIF you can handle JUST being friends then TREAT him like a FRIEND, no more, no less.

If you are looking for a BF, he isn't it. He knows you like him and he turned you down. But I think he keeps the compliments going, because he likes the idea of YOU having fallen for him. I wouldn't be surprised if you started to date someone that he would not like it.

However, here is the thing. A friend is a friend. A BF is a BF and a friend rolled into one.

So I'd IGNORE the gestures and comments, because they DO NOT matter. HE has ALREADY told you... I want to be friends only.

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