A
female
age
18-21,
*Jess*
writes:Ok, basically my boyfriend is moving away and I'm very confused and worried. He will be moving sometime in september to a place two hours away from me. I was going to wait until he moves and see how I cope with it but its really bothering me. Lots of people have long distance relationships and its not THAT far away so it could work if we both make the effort to see each other but I'm worried it will all go horribly wrong when he moves and it will just be a slow painful death for our relationship. And I feel like I would be holding him back, hes moving out of his family home to live by himself with his new job and I feel like he would be held back if hes got his girlfriend living where he has moved on from who he will hardly see. Don't get me wrong, I would be heartbroken if it was over between us but I don't know if I should ignore my feelings and "set him free" so he has nothing holding him back when he leaves. He says he wants to give the long distance thing a go and I can come and stay with him whenever I want (which also scares me because I haven't slept with him yet and he would probably want to if we were alone overnight) but what if he meets someone new? I'm just scared. It might be horrible. And it's going to be really difficult. We've only been together for nearly two months officially but we were seeing each other for a few months beforehand. This kind of thing can really ruin a new relationship can't it? Please help me, I don't know what to do or how to deal with this at all, I've never done anything like this before and I don't want it to be painful when he goes away, for either of us. What should I do?
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heartbroken, long distance Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Unique1  +, writes (13 August 2007):
It is just 2 hours away!!!!!!!!!! That is not far, i'd never break a relationship because of two hours distance! If it was 6 + where you can't drive and come back the same day, thats lil more understanding...but two hours is really not a big deal! Save your relationship
A
female
reader, *Jess* + ♥, writes (12 August 2007):
*Jess* is verified as being by the original poster of the question another thing is that I'm trying to be supportive and happy for him but that means he doesn't know how upset I am about him leaving. I keep crying when I think about it and I can't imagine how terrible it will be when hes gone. My best friend said i should tell him that I'm upset but I think we would only end up arguing about it because I know he will feel bad and hes not going to change his mind about leaving. Do you think I should keep my mouth shut? And do you think I should give the long-distance thing a chance and risk a painfully slow break up? xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): Hi, im going through a very similar thing right now. My boyfriend told me last week that he is moving away next month. Like you I am devastated but dont want to hold him back. I decided that I will continue to see him until he leaves as I think it will be too hard not to! Also the last few weeks are precious.
Honestly, im dreading his leaving, i spent all yesterday crying about it, but I also know that when he goes I dont want him to remember me being miserable.
I think the only thing to do is wait and see what happens! You might miss eachother desperately and figure out a way to make it work or you might get used to him not being around and start enjoying yourself without him. Im not being patronising but you are young and have so much opportunities to meet someone.
It will hurt when he leaves, but even if you dont see him before he goes, it will still hurt. So try to enjoy this last bit of time with him. Wish him well and try to be happy for him then grab your friends and get them to keep you busy and having fun.
Good luck sweetie xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): Well it sounds like he wants to give it a go also. So just see what happens in the long distance thing, and if it doesn't work out then move on.
It's really nice of him asking you to stop over with him - maybe you could go at weekends and college holidays. I'm sure he won't rush you into sex till your ready, and if he does then either say 'NO, I will when I'm ready' or end it.
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