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female
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anonymous
writes:How can I tell my boyfriend I'm very stressed when his daughter (age 7)comes over and stay with us. It's partly my problem because I want to make sure the little girl isn't hungry, she is not bored, and she likes me. My boyfriend tells me it's not my responsibility to take care of her, but on a Sunday morning when my boyfriend is in bed sleeping and the little girl is hungry and wants breakfast, I will just get up and make sure she's okay. When she wants to go to the washroom while we're out, I will be the one who brings her. When we crosses the street, I have to take her hand make sure she's safe. I have no problem doing that. The only problem is she's not my own daughter. I have to make extra effort to make sure she likes me. However, I cannot be like this stress everytime she comes over. I'm not a parent myself yet and I now need to be acting like a step-parent. It's too much on me all at once. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much of your support. I guess it's a learning experience for me. I am trying to be patience about it. I just wish there will be a dummy for being a good step-parent books for me. : )
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): If you and your partner are living together then yes you are definately responsible for this girl.. shes so young and needs to be looked after and feel wanted when she is away from her mum.
Men are annoying - he will stay in bed on a Sunday, my hubbie does the same, but if you stayed in bed too who would care for this poor child???
She obviously feels safe with you and you could develop a really cute bond here.
Your fella has a child simple as, when its just you two have as much fun as you can, but when he has his daughter for the day/weekend she always comes first ( I have a step son so I totally understand)
Think yourself lucky that she is not an angst ridden teenager, you have met her at a good age and like i said your bond will grow and the love this child will show for you will eventually get rid of all the stress you feel it will just become natural.
I used to worry what my step son thought it was stressful, but they are only children, just be happy, be fun and show that you are interested in them.
Don't worry about the 'step mum' tag - just be a friend, honestly its soooo rewarding! (and plus your fella will think its really sweet too - okay he may not say it but he will!!)
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A
male
reader, salvation  +, writes (14 April 2008):
well i think instead of thinking of her as a stepdaughter start thinking of her as a friend dont put pressure on yourself. You could become something really special to this girl. Its tough what youre doing but sooner or later it will become easier.
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