A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why do some men choose their friends and sport over their girlfriend?My situation is that i live with my boyfriend he is away monday and wednesday for 3 hrs at night goi ng to play his sport then he goes body boarding either fridays or during the weekend. This happens alot where he is away for 5 hrs at a time. He loves me he says amd we live together with my 5 yr old son. But im feeling a little unappreciated im currently going through court over my son and ive had to quit my job due to personal circumstances.i do everything cook clean take care of my son and him. But its not good enough im feeling so unloved and unappreciated all the time due to this. I know he likes his sport and im understanding of it but any chance he gets to do sport with his friends im always ditched. He says he wants to marry me but he hasnt proposed and i feel like he is just saying it so im understanding. Why do i feel so horrible all the timedo i leave or stay? I know most men never change so i dont know anymore. We have been together 2 yrs do i throw it all away.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2014): He's an active guy with friends. He lives with you so there is no possible way he spends more time with friends than you.
He has to work, and sport keeps him fit and friends keep him social and well-rounded.
You mention no friends of your own, and being a mother you've limited your personal activities to childcare. If you had more things for personal stimulation and entertainment, you wouldn't center all your attention on your boyfriend. What you described doesn't sound excessive at all.
I think you're looking for a husband. Even a husband has friends and likes to get out of the house. He has taken on a ready-made family, which an irresponsible type of guy wouldn't do. He has a right to seek leisure and recreation after working to support his little family. It keeps him energetic and healthy. You should let him know if you want to be a part of his crew.
Maybe this situation is not exactly what you need or want.
Perhaps you'd be happier with a homebody or couch-potato who doesn't like to go out. One who prefers his sports on TV. You must like athletic types. You generalize that most men never change. Presuming they always like their friends and sports over their girlfriend. I suspect you're speaking from experience?
If he's in his early to mid-20's; I suspect he'd be pretty physically active. Why did you commit and move in with someone like that? If he hasn't proposed, it's because he isn't as ready for it as you are. Perhaps you should end this relationship to find someone less active, has fewer friends, and more interested in getting married.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2014): It seems like you're feeling worse because you have nothing really to occupy your day, due to caring for your little one. So your day consists of looking after him - which I'm sure you love - but then also filled with mundane tasks such as cleaning etc...so when he comes home you're looking forward to it and then off he goes to do something else...I would feel unappreciated too, of course he's entitled to his own life but also, he wants to set up a life with you so there has to be some give . He can't keep living like a single man because he isn't anymore, although neither should you be joined to the hip... I think you need to have a chat and explain that you are stuck in the house all day, you look forward to spending time together and then he's off again. He needs to agree days he's out and time with you. And he needs to stick to it. You're not asking much. Perhaps someone is able to look after your child, so you can pursue some of your interests? At least then you have something other than being a mum and girlfriend, you keep your identity and have something to look forward to aswell.It's all well and good someone saying they'll propose, but quite often men don't see the rush once you live together - so maybe another chat about where you both see the future heading would be wise. We can second guess here but you'll get your best answers from sharing this with each other x
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