A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16, and never had a proper boyfriend, nor have i properly been kissed. I have amazing friends and family, do well in school, and generally I'm a really happy person. But recently, I've noticed how I've begun to get really upset and lonely at night and feel it's possibly this absence that's causing it. All my friends have had many boyfriends and some still do currently, meaning I'm starting to feel left out. And I know, the solution is to get one, but it's really not that easy...Any suggestions? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007): try giving eye contact and if he gives you eye contact back your in look
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): look it doesnt matter wether youve had a boyfriend or not if u want one then try to get 1 if u dont then dont do it because everyone else is......the only tip i can offer u if u want a boyfriend is ask someone out
you dont necessarly want to ask out the person that u like you should ask out an ok person for practice.
lots of love
sean x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): Try to stay strong, it might take a few months or a year or whatever but sooner or later someone will come alone. In the mean time enjoy your life and be young. There is many many years ahead of you that you will be in relationships.
But, i always find that being very confident helps to make new contacts, for example dont hold back if you meet someone new try and talk to them and be forward. Ask them out see what happens and if it all goes wrong start again until you find you prince.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your help [:
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (22 May 2007):
Some people dont meet there first boyfriend or girlfriend untill there like 17 or 18. I dont think you are mature enough for a boyfriend untill you are 16 - 17 anyway. I met my first PROPER boyfriend at 16 and im 18 now. So if your patient and wait for a decent guy, you will be better off than just rushing into anything because you feel left out. Try being friends with guys first, then it may turn into something more.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  + ♥, writes (22 May 2007):
 Hun, you don't need a man to be happy.
Believe me, they're a hell of a lot more trouble than their worth. I would say concentrate on your GCSEs but I know how patronising that must sound...
Everyone's been there, but I'd say walk tall, show them that you don't care and act like you don't need anyone.
It normally works - men know when you're trying to get a boyfriend. Men love a challenge though so if you act strong, you're more likely to get a boyfriend.
Simple answer to this is stop looking :)
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A
female
reader, Cateyes  + ♥, writes (22 May 2007):
 To have a boyfriend doesn't necessarily mean "he" will make you happy and that you will fit in with the crowd so to speak. It's having a boyfriend that you can honestly say that you are "in love" with and not just love him. This may take time for you to really undestand the difference. You are young, and even though I KNOW that is not want you want to hear, let IT happen...and don't force something just because you want a boyfriend. It will happen...seriously...when you least expect it to. Have fun with all your friends, go out and join a club of bowling , or any sport for that matter, take a class of some sort that would make you happy and that you would enjoy. When you keep yourself busy with things you like to do, that will be the time when you meet that special someone and he to, will enjoy the same interests as you.
Good Luck!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): Don't feel so down. We have all been there. Honestly, I never really had a real boyfriend until I was 19 years old. When I was your age I didn't really care about boys. I was too busy with school, tennis, work & community services..etc. There are other things you should focus on other than boys. Make something of your future. Don't let "boys" get in the way. Let them come to you... good things happen to those who wait.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (22 May 2007):
 I hear ya. We've all been there. But I'm going to let you in on something -- I think the guys can smell the desperation, and it's a real turn off. Every time I have ever been desperate for a boyfriend, NO ONE was interested. But when I got to a place where I was happy being by myself (or with myself, as myself) they're everywhere. One of the most attractive traits of any woman is her self-confidence. People flock to you when you're feeling good about yourself.
So here's what you do: get busy. Find something you like to do, that makes you happy. A dance class. A community choir. A school or church club. Debate team? Anything you can spend your time at so that you're not feeling lonely. You might even meet some guys there who are interested in the same thing you're interested in. Once you're not thinking about a boyfriend anymore, I promise it'll just happen. (A watched pot never boils? [grin])
Good luck sweetie.
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A
female
reader, tropicalparadise +, writes (22 May 2007):
hun, your only 16, why worry yourself with such matters. Boys, kisses and love will all come in due time. Don't rush cause you'll find that your attempts will all be wrong desisions that you will have to live with and carry on for the rest of your life.
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A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (22 May 2007):
 please dont worry sweety,i think we have all been through this. i know what you are going through but please listen to me now.....you will find someone when you are not looking. you may have hurd this a thousand times but it is true.
you sound so nice,you are young,enjoy your self and dont worry. in a few years you will look back and laugh about this.
nicola.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (21 May 2007):
 I understand what you're going through. I hang out with a crowd of people who come over and start making out with their partners. I know that it's tough, and it feels like more of a necessity to fit in than a desire. If you find someone, be with them because you love them. Don't rush it. Love always tends to find us in all the right times.
DV1
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (21 May 2007):
 No, it's not easy. The worst thing of all is that you can get to the stage where you're so obsessed with getting a boyfriend that you come off as desperate to guys completely unintentionally. I was exactly the same at your age. I was so desperate to have a boyfriend that I got hooked on every guy who spoke to me but the truth of the matter is the hardest thing to grasp, that you have to let go and realise that it's outside of your control for things to happen for you. If you force it then it won't be real. Relax, you said yourself that everything in your life is going well so concentrate on the good stuff and being a happy and positive person and you'll be beating the boys off with a stick.
CD
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