A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am single and have been for a long time (apart from a couple of very short and unsatisfying relationships). I hadn't fallen in love for three years until I met this guy recently at a party. As soon as we saw each other it was basically like love at first sight and we talked all night. I met up with him today for lunch and it was just as good again, if not better. We ended up staying in the restaurant until it closed because we just couldn't stop talking and laughing. We haven't done anything physical, not even holding hands. I have only ever felt attraction like this once before. I haven't fallen for him yet, but I know that I'm very close to doing so.There's only one problem - he has a girlfriend. They have only been together for a few months but they have already been on holiday together. He's mentioned her to me a couple of times in the conversation, just everyday things like they went to a hockey game together. I can't stand thinking of them together.What should I do? I refuse to be the 'other girl' involved in him cheating on his girlfriend, but I don't want to have to wait another three years to feel this way again.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 July 2010):
Well, you will be waiting. And longer than you think of you continue this way. The fact is he has a girlfriend. That's it. And by staying around him, you're coming closer and closer to letting something happen. Lots of people have said they won't cheat, or would never get involved with someone who is taken. Some have been faithful to that, others haven't. But you can be sure of one thing. If you continue, something will happen, whether it's just a kiss, or more. And if that happens, your reputation as a woman will bottom right out. Decent guys will see you as untrustworthy and run a mile. Female friends will think you'll always try to steal boyfriends and ditch you.
So, back away, cut contact and move on. If you have to wait three years, then you'll have to wait. But it's better than never finding the right guy because you have no reputation left.
A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (26 July 2010):
 don't go after him. if he has a woman then there is nothing you can do righ this second. if you find yourself wanting to "take" him for yourself then just know that karma is real. wait a while until you're sure that he's single then try your luck. but right now just back off.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): Woah woah woah, HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.
That is your cue to back off-as hard as it may be, do it now before it's too late.
How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing this to you behind your back? Devestated is the answer.
Have some compassion for his girlfriend and please don't be selfish.
PLEASE think about your actions and there implications on the people they could effect.
Xxx
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (26 July 2010):
 Well, hopefully he likes spending time with you enough that he will leave her. Knowing guys though, he'll do his best to have both. Make sure you aren't the other woman, but it is ok to tell him you like him. He may be waiting till he knows more surely that dating you is a real option.
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