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I'm emotionally stressed thinking about her and I can't handle it anymore!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 July 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *ngron writes:

a couple of months ago i realised that the girl i was absolutly stone cold crazy about, was never going to feel the same way about me as i did about her. even though i had found out that it was never meant to happen between us, i still couldnt stop thinking about her. every single day i would think of her, and it drove me mad. so i decided what i needed to do was to cut her out of my life completly, because i couldnt get over her if i was seeing her every now and again. so i did, i stopped meeting her, deleated her from every kind of social networking system i had her on, and let her know why i was doing it. a few months down the line ive found that i dont think about her as much, but when i do, its more emotionaly draining than usual, and lsat night i had a dream that im gonna be fixed on for a while. what my question is, how can i stop myself from thinking about her, i do think i loved her, but its got to the point where i am emotionaly stressed when ever i think about her, and i cant cope with it anymore, so its best to leave her behind, thanks in advance.

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A female reader, cocoqueen88 United States +, writes (23 July 2010):

cocoqueen88 agony auntYep it happened to me too. just go out and meet new people. After a while you'll be over it.

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A male reader, mrvhappy United Kingdom +, writes (23 July 2010):

Hi,

Sorry to hear what you are going through..I had something similar many yrs ago. I found the best way to get over her was to take up new hobbies/go to different places...maybe even take up an activity like Salsa/ballroom dancing which allows you to meet/dance with other women who could be pottential partners.

The longer you ist around trying not to think about her, the worst things get

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010):

This will probably go away the next time you meet someone you really like. Like cerberus said, you should go out, date, and meet new people. Once there is another girl who you become really interested in, and hopefully the interest will be mutual, then she will probably come to occupy your mind more and more and you will think less and less of the other girl. There is someone out there who you will meet everntualy and love a lot more than this other girl.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010):

Don't fight the thoughts or feelings. Don't run away, face them and let them happen.

You did the right thing by cutting her out of your life, that is the best way to do it. Just make sure you don't try to hide from thoughts of her. Our brain is wired so that it always wants to work things out, fill in missing pieces tell us what we need and desire. It will sort all this out if you let it, if you try to forcefully push these thoughts aside they'll keep coming back. It's not pleasant but it has to happen you have to let the part of you that really wants to be with her tire itself out, the illogical part of your mind that keeps thinking of ways it could still happen, that niggling little hope that ignores the logic.

Find yourself a new muse, go out and start dating. Talking to and getting to know random girls. Set your mind up that you're not doing this just to get over her, make sure you do it to see if there are any other nice girls around. You weren't actually dating her so it will be easy enough to switch your love and attention to another girl that catches your fancy.

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A female reader, well-help United Kingdom +, writes (23 July 2010):

well-help agony auntthis happened to me i deleted the boy from my life literally and still deep down i have feelings for him so if im honest with you all i can say is try to move on find someone new or be flirty with other people it might help you good luckx

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