A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there... ive recently been talking to a local guy who I met online. He's a couple of years older than me and has a 2 year old daughter. We've agreed to meet for the first time tomorrow for lunch. We've exchanged photos and Im worried im not what I look, ive put weight on since those photos and we get on really well so far and from the way I look i dont want that to put him off. I really like him even tho its only been a week. How do i get over my nerves, shyness, self conciousness and be myself around him? Im doing something about my weight as well im at the gym most nights as well. I know im going to clam up and probably not say a thing, I dont want to make it difficult or be a bore. I think is possibly because im nearly 23 and never had a serious relationship and im so scared of messing it up. Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): Hey there,
Can you just contact him and rearrange to meet up? There's no point in putting yourself through misery because you want him to contact you first.
If his daughter was genuinely ill and was in hospital, I'd guess that is the reason he hasn't contacted you in a couple of days, perhaps he is looking after her? It must have been a serious problem to hospitalise her?
Try not to worry but listen to that gut feeling inside of yourself. Other than that try not to worry, relationships and dating shouldn't be about getting worried and scared. If this is the man for you, he will understand you and your character and try and help you not feel the way you are being. Relationships can be scary, but they should never make you feel empty, alone or insecure. All the best:)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): I wrote this question.
Okay well I didnt meet him because he had to look after his daughter. So we carried on with the usual chit chat a couple of times through the day. In the evening he asked me to send him a picture which I did and he replied saying I was gorg. I have a real low self esteem so was happy with this response. Now I dont know if paranoia is setting in but I didnt hear from him for the rest of the weekend until Monday when I finally txt him. He said he was sorry he hadnt been in touch but that his daughter was ill and he'd been in hospital with her all weekend but that she is beter now. Few more days have passed and Ive still not heard from him. I think he's changed his mind and I dont know what to do. Sounds really sad but he's been so nice and we had so much in common. Im not wanting to give up on him just yet. Im too impatient to sit around waiting :(
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A
female
reader, carlyuk +, writes (15 February 2007):
 hi hun i had the same prob i met my online guy on valentines day and i was so nervous as well. But just before you meet him ya nerves will disappear. well that's what happened to me. but just a word of warning hun my guy turned out to be totally different from the guy i thought i knew and now i can see the tell tale signs looking back on our convos from the past year that he wasnt the right guy for me. just make sure there are no nasty surprizes waiting for you when you meet him. Other than that just be ya self and relax if you get tense or worried just take 10 breaths slowly in and out. please message me and let me no ow you get on xxx hope i helped xxx
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (15 February 2007):
 I know it must be really daunting meeting someone for the first time that you have never seen in the flesh.
All you can do really is just ne natural, and be your self.
I don't think he will be put off by you because you have put on a little weight, after all its still you.
More importantly when you meet someone off the internet always tell someone where you are going.
Hope it goes well and good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): I can understand you being nervous! If you get on well in emails and have spoken on the phone, and the photos you sent are recent, but have gained a little weight since then, well, nobody is perfect! I mean, unless this man is wanting or expecting a slim lady and he is put off by a little extra weight, then I'd say that would show him to be a bit shallow, don't you think?After all, looks ARE important, that's true. But so is a warm, witty, intelligent person who is sincere and fun to be with. Ask him questions about himself, about his daughter, about what he does for a living, and so on. If someone thinks you're interested in knowing about him, it will be a turn-on for him. Hopefully this will help you feel a little more relaxed, once you can get him talking.Good luck!
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