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I'm doing all the work in this relationship. I need some advice.

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been seeing a bloke and i seem to be doing alot of the work...he says he is depressed at the moment so i have been putting it down to that..but i also think he has become more distant...

Anyway i just could not take it anymore and yesterday i asked if it was me him or his ex (he spilt up 3 months ago)..then said i felt used and that he was playing with me and that i also thought he and his mates was having good laugh at my expensive and he should get some respect for me and could he call me cause i need answers...i then texted again about 4 hours later because i felt guilty just saying im sorry you are just really confusing me.

Well i have heard nothing from him and i dont know what to do has he been using me or is he confused himself...we work together which causes a problem really and to ignore me will make that worse. I have not gone into work today cause i cant face it but he is in work which he does not have to do as he is more site based and just comes in a few times a week...very very hurt and confused..need some advice

View related questions: depressed, his ex, my ex, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008):

Well guys can be very confusing. I would guess that if he broke up a relationship only three months ago, he may be depressed over that, and needs time to heal from this and you don't want to be the rebound girl...if you are doing all of the work in the relationship then that is not good and you may be overusing your gifts and doing to much for him and this is making him feel like he is being pressured by you for more than he is able to give at the moment.

Stop doing that, stop asking him for answers, don't pressure him to tell you how he feels, not unless you want to loose him entirely and don't apologize for being confused to him. Just back off, stop calling him and contacting by text email or anything at all. Start dating yourself, don't wait around for him to call you, get busy doing the things you enjoy, men like women who are independent and don't rely on them to make them happy.

Sometimes we women get too clingy early in a relationship and this throws up a red flag to a guy, especially one who may not be ready for another relationship.

Try letting him do the chasing, just move on, if he wants you he knows where to find you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008):

First tell him you want a brake. Cuz he is treating u bad. And it is not fair to you. Let him look for you. Don't look for him. He needs to know that he doess need you in his life. You tired of him try not to look for him.he don't diserve you. You diserve better. If it don't work out. Just move on

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