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I'm disgusted that he showed me a pic of him wearing my knickers!

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 June 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 June 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've started seeing this guy, and he's great. We get on really well, enjoy spending time together, and the sex is fantastic....

we're really open about our sexuality, and we're both very comfortable in the bedroom, despite only being with eachother 4 months.

Everything was going swimmingly until today, when we were texting flirty messages back and forth, and all of a sudden he sent me a pic message of him wearing my pants!!!???? I was literally horrified, and i can't bring myself to text him back. I don't want to embarrass him, but i am really turned off by this.

I understand the complexity of different peoples' sexual desires, but this is something i personally cannot comprehend. Hence the fact that i am now completely mortified, and turned off him. I'm not going to be shallow, and say this is 'the end' because he done that. But how can i possibly further this relationship, when i am literally repulsed by this??!!!

Help!

View related questions: flirt, text

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A male reader, Uncle Sneaker United Kingdom +, writes (17 June 2008):

Uncle Sneaker agony auntIf you're turned off by it, tell him you're turned off - and he probably won't do it again.

Don't get stressed by it - if you want to know more about what he's thinking then just ask him. It might be that he has a "thing" about wearing women's clothes (which, presumably, is what turns you off about it), OR it might be that wearing something intimate of YOURS makes him feel closer to you (which, I think, is rather a different desire and probably provokes quite different feelings for you), OR he has a slightly bizarre sense of humour, OR... I don't know! There a probably a number of other possibilities.

As I said, if you want to know then ask. If you don't want to know then just tell him not to do it again and explain in words he can't possibly misunderstand that you find it a complete turn-off.

There's no real need to make a big issue of it. Most men have MUCH more bizarre desires than THAT buried somewhere in their imaginations and their fantasies. Don't ask. Really, don't ask....

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A male reader, Dr Vendetta United Kingdom +, writes (17 June 2008):

Dr Vendetta agony auntGRAB YOUR PITCH FORKS BOYS, WE'RE GONNA HAVE US A LYNCHING.

i'm sorry. but.. come on. get a sence of humor.

its not the end of the world.

he probably knows you're not gonna get turned on by it.

just start worrying if he starts using your dildos.

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A male reader, Manximus Isle of Man +, writes (17 June 2008):

Manximus agony auntI would be honest with him and tell him that he shouldn't be going through your underwear anyway. let alone wearing it.

It could just be a fetish of his, but you need to tell him how you feel about it, whilst trying to understand his side of things.

People do have weird and wonderful fetishes, but not all to my taste, I must admit. That isn't to say that it's wrong though, so try not to make him feel bad.

Try to maybe work on fetishes you can both enjoy, maybe even a little dressing up of a slightly different nature.

Best of luck

M

x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008):

Are you sure that he wasn't trying to be humurous?

Maybe you should just tell him that you're not really into that. Simple and short.

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