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I'm depressed & its getting worse day by day!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Health, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 February 2009)
A female India age 16-17, anonymous writes:

dear dear cupid,

im a 16 yr old indian girl.i think i am highly depressed though i try to deny the fact to everyone.i act and infact really feel happy and energetic when i am around in college or with my friends.

its been nearly 2 months since i broke up with my boyfriend.when he asked me out at first,i didnt take the thing too seriously when i said "yes".but very soon i fell deep in the love trap and now i truly love him,miss him like hell,and feel like a mother who lost her child...he made me love him by being a perfect boyfriend and one day when everything was going fine between us,he texts me that his dad came to know about our relationship and he has no choice but to break-up!!

on his side he has a long story to all this...3 yrs back he was in re lationship with some sweetheart in 8th grade,he brokeup with her after some rocky situations,misunderstandings and stuff went into depression and in utter confusion ,by 10th grade he went out with a dozen of girls,two-timed and stuff. all that to get over his 1st girlfriend!

!he was caught two-timing and then got beaten up by all his classmates..after all that and a 6 month break,i came into his life..now his dad dosent want him any more depressed by getting into a relationship and that its just not done for him to waste time like this with me..so he dumped me and is concentrating on his studies..he has always been a bright student,i agree that its his life and his wish to choose anything over me.but now he has passed on the depression to me!!!i still love him,cry for him ,think of it all the time...and have got into a habit of cutting my wrist almost everyday..i want to see him happy,and be in good terms with me..but he never talks to me.he stopped talking to me because i wrote nasty things to him on face-book wall as i didnt trust him and thought he was making it all up..coz all his old friends and others tell me he's a playboy and a bigtime jerk..not to trust him..but they dont understand why he cheated all those girls..

he did all that to get over his 1st love..now that i understand,i wanna be there for him..i want him back.i was never like this before ,i was this happy-go-lucky ,kiddish,humourous ,funky girl..i dont know how to get out of this darkness and to stop being like a damsel in distress.i have loving parents,im rich,get everything i want,im intelligent..good at math,im pretty,and some guys are even asking me out!!but i dont feel for any of them or find them cute..i mean i just cant see anyone in his place,i luv ma ol boy!!

i didnt even know the serious and romantic side of myself until he happened.Will he come back if i confess my feelings for him,or should i try to make him jealous of other guys who are asking me out?or should i try both?i have also shown a lot of attitude to him in the past,i feel bad about that and lay awake in the wee hours dreaming of what could have been..i miss him truly,ive fallen in love with him allover again after the breakup...but he will never openup or talk to me directly even if he's feeling the same..he has ego..and i have my dignity too..help me!!please advice me what to do!?im totally confused and its getting worse day by day.

View related questions: broke up, depressed, jealous, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

its me again..umm..i havnt told 1 more thing..i think my dad knows about my affair..one day id idiotically,soo foolishly,by mistake left my cell phone at home in a hurry..i didnt even lock it coz i intended to take it with me as usual but forgot..some of his mushy texts were on it,my dad apparently saw all of them(my parents trust me loads and i didnt expect him to check,though i could sense it in school..gut feelings that something like this might happen.)that day when i came home he questioned me"who is this x messagin u all the time"and i convinced him it is a girl...but later,after the break up..while my dad was on a tour i found out that its my dad who told his dad about us..i have proof.look,i found a note in my dads drawer with a list of all the no.s in my cell...the most mysterious thing is..next to HIS name,his cell no. was written and so was his LANDLINE no.!!but i NEVER HAD HIS LANDLINE NO.,I HAD STORED HIS CELL NO. ON MY PHONE...i foundout his landline number AFTER my dad went on the tour through someone and all with so much trouble!!but THE NOTE WITH HIS NO. HAD BEEN IN THE DRAWER EVEN BEFORE I KNEW HIS LANDLINE NO. MYSELF!!and that was before my dad left for the tour...ITS CLEARLY MY DADS HANDWRITING and he has done good amt. of research work that day itself and somehow got his home no...

NOW WHAT I THINK IS-i had this message to him in my outbox"ur lookin soo hot nd sweety in that orkut pic honey!!"and obviously my dad had read that on that fateful day id left my cell at home..he has obviously gone and searched my boyfriends name in my friends list and got him...AND HIS DAD IS THERE ON ORKUT TOO...so my dad found his dads profile too by the sir name and somehow got in touch with him...

BUT THE MOST SURPRISING AND MYSTERIOUS PART IS THAT my dad acts like nothing has happened!!he is totally cool and same as before acts like he dosent know a thing about my relationship..he is much cleverer than i thought

he treats me like a princess but i know whats happened behind my back!!WHY WOULD HE TAKE THE PAIN TO FIND HIS LANDLINE NO. AND NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT???

in our culture its not alright to go out and stuff!!..im pretty sure my dads talked with his dad and they mutually agreed to break us up!

but in all matters my dad trusts me,consults me and we always have discussions over ALL matters concerning our family or just anything...since i am the only daughter..in the sense only child..

my dad fears that i didnt get enough attention at home or something and thats why i started going out and stuff..and now he is being so nice to me,pampering me from abroad and stuff...but my love for my parents is always there..its totally different from my 'boyfriend-love life'!!

i know my 'ex'boyfriend isnt lying to me!!

my cousin is in his school and knows he isnt fooling around and is really concentrating on his work and she is convinced he isnt lying about the breakup!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009):

i totally agree with 'otherstarfish' forget him and get on with ur life..

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A male reader, OtherStarfish United Kingdom +, writes (14 February 2009):

OtherStarfish agony auntNamaste,

Don't go after him, let him go - he isn't worth it. would you trust him again? Get over him. He goes out with other girls because he can dazzle them enough that they will fall for him. Once they have , he is not interested.

You are young and so talented - Live. Do things go out, how do you know if he is the love of your life if you haven't lived?

The best way to not think about him is to keep your mind busy.

Hugs OS.x.

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