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I'm dating someone who isn't responding by text as fast as he used to, is this a problem or am I over-analyzing?

Tagged as: Age differences, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 April 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2016)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid

I'm dating someone younger to me for past 1 month, I like him and he says the same. Earlier he used to text often and responds back quickly , now most of the time he doesn't initiate text and if I text I get response but mostly after an hour or two or may be more. He doesn't call either, we meet twice a week since we are little bit far away from each other, either he drives to a place near my home or I do.

I'm usually a worrier and I don't want to over analyze the situation and we haven't had sex yet but we make out a bit.

I haven't dated someone younger, so not sure what to expect, usually texting rate stops after few months not in one month. I asked him once and he said sometimes he talks lot sometimes and since he has so many on going projects he concentrates on that and push people away a bit those days and also he like to talk in person.

Pls help me, I like him and I don't want to scare him away by over analyzing. Thanks

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (25 April 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntIf you feel things have not progressed in the last month, then make some changes. Only you can tell how you are both getting on face to face. I wouldn't worry about the phone side of things, to many people rely on communication over the phone, but the important one is face to face, and how he makes you feel. Read his body language. It has only been a month so give it a little longer and see how you both get on. You might scare him away if you keep mention he is not texting or calling enough. Just enjoy it and see if it progresses.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (22 April 2016):

janniepeg agony auntI can't tell for sure because people communicate differently and it's not something I can answer based on the general. I don't think there is anything to worry if you are still seeing each other twice a week. It would be better if you can adjust your thinking towards this. Instead of giving away power to him, as if your destiny is in his hands, you decide what you want in life and whether he fits your criteria as boyfriend, or whether you are satisfied in this. Just because he is younger does not mean he has more choices than you.

I would not give further comment on his frequency of texting since he already told you he has projects to do. What I would think is, if after a certain time period, such as 3 months, you still don't know where you stand, then you may have to nudge him about it because a relationship without a direction can be time wasting. I think it is the officialness of a relationship that would assure you and make you less anxious.

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