A
female
age
30-35,
*alcon223
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and I have lately been super self conscious about my weight. I have been working out trying to make myself feel better and that part is working. But I have also been super paranoid like my boyfriend is cheating on me or "talking" to other girls behind my back. In my heart I know he is not. But im still having these dreams he is with some blonde chick. I find myself wondering who he is texting when he gets messages etc. I dont wanna be that crazy girlfriend but I dont know why I am feeling this way? Could it be a sign im over looking?
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (19 March 2012):
You say you've been self concious lately. So does that mean you weren't before? What exactly brought this on? Has your bf made any comments regarding your weight?
I think self conciousness (=insecurity) and suspiciousness go hand in hand. People who are comfortable in their own skin are often more confident about their relationship as well. So try to pinpoint where exactly this insecurity comes from.
I don't think it's a sign if there haven't been clear instances validate your worries. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that just because you have these feelings, something must really be off. Yes, us humans have a gut feeling, but insecure people often mistake their issues for their gut.
So instead, work on yourself. Try to see the positive things about you, both looks and personality. People always tend to magnify the negative aspects of themselves, drowning out the positives. It's not all about looks and your version of being good looking might not be his. I know plenty of guys who don't like their gals all trim and skinny.
This is all the advice I can give you for now, unless you answer the questions.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 March 2012):
 I worry that I'm too fat for my fiancé. When we met I had lost a lot of weight and I had horrible saggy skin and then I had plastic surgery.... and got down about 15 pounds lighter than I am now... and I thought he was happy. he got much happier when I picked up a bit of weight... I find that many men (if NOT most) prefer a bit of meat on the woman they are loving on... nothing fun about hugging a bag of bones.... (I know I prefer a bit of meat on my partner too so it's not just gender...)
If he is not doing anything to warrant your worry then it's an internal thing for you and it's about your lack of self-esteem.... sometimes you can work on that alone but often you need professional counseling to help you find that nice middle ground between secure and overly arrogant...
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