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I'm concerned about my 45 year old boyfriend's friendship with a 22 year old French woman

Tagged as: Age differences, Crushes, Friends, Long distance, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 September 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 September 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend who is 45 has a female friend who is 22, who is French, who he met 4 years ago when she was visiting England.

She visits every year and they hang out, also he has been to stay with her and her parents in France.

The thing is, I found the backlog of instant chat and messages on Facebook, and he is really flirting with her there (this was before I was with him).

He is saying stuff like, wish I was with you, wish you could come and stay in my hammock, when you coming to visit? Love you loads, who's that gorgeous woman in the photo...etc)

I asked him what's going on with her. He said nothing. I said I don't believe you. You were really trying to get it on with her. He says, I've never felt remotely sexually attracted to her, she's way too young for me, I only love you.

Is this plausible? Am I overreacting?

View related questions: facebook, flirt

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2012):

Don't trust him. if he is saying these things to this girl than he is interested in her. And if she reciprocates those feelings he will be gone. my soon to be ex told me there was nothing going on with his 24 year old and now they are living together. Find someone who will talk to you that way.

Good Luck

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (19 September 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthe may have been like my now ex husband.. telling her those things so she would reciprocate and stroke his ego.

or he could be lying to you

either way it's not a good sign.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012):

Well..the thing is he knows her before you...They are friends from before..How you can say yes it is something or not?? Just with time...He is now your boyfriend so let him show you love and respect not matter what he says..wait for his actions.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012):

You have every right to be concerned....your boyfriend's behavior is a "No No" in my book. Telling this woman that he wish he was with her is totally out of line. Because, of all the bad experiences I have had on the love and relationship front of things, I would leave this guy---if he is 45 years old and still acting in such an immature manner, he may never change.

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