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I'm clueless! What is right and what is wrong?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2010)
A male Netherlands age 36-40, *hu209275 writes:

Dear Cupid

My name is Chu and currently living in the Netherlands. I've been dating this wonderful girl for an half year. During our relationship we've stumbled on a few problems. The fact that her mom which i respect, but continuously nags about the latest gossips to her daughter. These gossips are all made up and her mom doesn't believe any single thing what her daughter has to say. During these times i've been supporting her, she can always count on me. We are deeply in love with each other, but every family problem in her family is being blamed on her. I kept my mouth shut, i havn't said anything about her family. I only supported her by giving her strength day by day. Until one day she contacted my parents to blame it on me. I don't know what i did do wrong but i ignored it and so did my parents. Last week i planned to visit her while she was on a holiday in France with her friends. This plan kind of turned out bad, because i and my girlfriend agreed to do our own little trip trough France. I regret this i told them i'm sorry. They start to advice my girlfriend to break up with me. They are talking bad about me while they don't even know me or the situation back at her home. I was so angry that i responded on this without any threats. Saying that how could they judge me while they know nothing about me, they base their rumors and thoughts on the stories her mom tells them. In those 6 months they didn't even bother to get to know me better. I don't want to say that i wasn't wrong that i took her from them, it was our decision but it is all blamed on me. They even threathend to break their friendship with my girlfriend. I am clueless, i don't know what is right or wrong. It was my bad and i apologized for everything. They didn't even gave me the chance and asked for a money compensation from both of us. I love her, and i didn't plan to hurt any1. But love can lead you to your own decisions which can be good or bad. Her mom hates me for supporting her and her friends are so called brainwashed by her mom. I know it is her mom, i respect that. But i get blamed on things that i didn't do. Her friends should be more understanding about her situation. I don't know my heart hurts, i have these bad feelings the whole day. And i don't want to give up on her.

Chu

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (27 July 2010):

Moo's Mum agony auntI totally agree with Fatherly Advice. Run away from this girl fast. Her family have no legal grounds on which to demand compensation from you. It sounds like a scam.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (27 July 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntPay no money. Walk away. Any relationship involves family as well. You are not just connected to her you are connected to the whole family. Obviously the family has rejected you. Unfortunately, she has decided to side with her family. I've seen this kind of dysfunctional family before you really don't want in.

FA

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