A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it okey to feel insecure about my girlfirend keeping in touch with her ex boyfriend?She is texting with him, speaking on the phone with him and sending messages to his facebook inbox. When I told her that this is really bothering me, because I never keep in touch with my ex girlfriends, she just got all mad for me for caring and asking. Sometimes she lies to his ex about her whereabouts and doings. Like the other day she told her ex that she was working, when in fact she was with me at the mall. Then we pumbed into him there. After that she tried to explain him that "we were just passing by and after that he drove me home for the night" when in fact she spent the night with me. Sometimes the ex just "mysteriosly" comes to her workplace etc... The ex cheated on her several times when they were dating and didnt treat her like she should be treated so I just can see why she would want to keep in touch with him, and why on earth is she liying to him about us. Her explanation to all this is that the ex has some problems nad she just wants to help him because the ex can speak to her easily. I know he really does have problems mentally and with drugs on so on, you can imagine the path. But the fact that I know for sure that the ex wants my girlfriend back makes my worry about this whole situation. I dont feel "secure" when she is speaking with him on the phone or sendind messages to him or anything..
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drugs, ex girlfriend, facebook, her ex, his ex, insecure, my ex, she lies, text, workplace Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 March 2011):
I'm feeling insecure for you. This isn't a good sign on any front. 1 - He is into drugs and has mental problems. That does't make him a bad guy, but it makes him someone who is unsafe to be around and that means that you and her may be in an unsafe situation. 2 - He cheated on her several times, yet she is still in contact with him. A bad sign, meaning there is a VERY high chance that she's still into him deep down. 3 - She lies to him about you. Again, another bad sign. What are you? A secret?4 - He turns up at her workplace, and she allows it. I'm sorry, but I don't buy her 'wanting to help him' excuse. I wasn't born yesterday, and that is an excuse I've heard a few times on this site, and also in the real world. It's a con. Truth is, it appears as if deep down she still wants him, and knows that he's a danger. So she's settling for you instead. The problem is one day he might sort himself out, in which case she might ditch you for him again. I don't like the way she lies, I don't like the fact she this guy has cheated yet she remains in contact, I don't like that she doesn't stop him from turning up at work, ad I don't like her excuse. I think you second best my friend, and I think you might be better moving on now rather than later.
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