A
male
age
26-29,
*nknown007
writes:HelloI'm a 14 year old sophomore. I'm a closeted bi. I guess I'll get straight to the point. I'm having feelings for two guys. One is my roommate and the other is a senior. My roommate could also fall into the criteria of best friend since I tell him about a lot of things. At times we would just talk about usual things. Then one time I brought up the topic about discrimination on sexuality. He said he doesn't really hate gays and bis. You could say we've been friends for 2 years. Now I'm wondering if I should tell him I'm bi.The other guy, the senior, is straight. We have the and classes in the morning and for a while I have grown attracted to him. And to say, he has a girlfriend. Should I just give up on him or wait?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): I think you should really give some thought to the level of frinedship that you are at with the first guy.... Like someone said earlier, even if their friendship seems really strong now, you dont want to end up being outed in the worst possible way just because your friend might be straight and not know all that well how to handle the info your putting on the table for him. The same goes for your friend with the girlfriend and then some... Its called pillow talk and girls can be like megaphones... You really dont want your personal business spread around by the girl friend of your friend. Good luck
A
male
reader, mitten82 +, writes (27 November 2009):
attraction is complex...there's the physical and then there's the personality attraction. Always tell your friends because if you can't be forward with them, who can you be forward with? I'm bi myself and outing myself in HS was both bad and good. I found more people who were gay or bi and then I found the assholes who just treated me like crap. I was in the swimteam and soccer team so you can imagine the horror. HS is such a nasty place and we should do away with it if we can't teach our children to be tolerant. I told my one friend that I was bi and we had a 1-night stand a week later just so he knew he was straight LOL. let me tell you, I currently have a gf but I know that she still loves me even if I am crushing over her brother lol
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A
male
reader, moomba38 +, writes (25 November 2009):
If you are comfortable with your sexuality and you trust that your roommate is a true friend, then you really don't have to much to fear about telling him. It's likely he won't care.
There may be some awkwardness as you sleep in the same room together, but he will hopefully realize that bi or not, you are the same person you were before he knew about it. And it isn't like being bi transforms you into some rapist.
As for the attraction you have for your roommate... that's always more of a sensitive situation to approach. If he is bi or gay, he may feel more comfortable sharing about himself once you've shared with him.
As for the senior... never give up based on a girlfriend, in my opinion. Freddie Mercury was married after all... But i wouldn't advise tearing them apart either. Try befriending him, getting to know him. Just be subtle, is my advice there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2009): My best advice would be to try and not get so absorbed in these crushes, especially since it sounds as though neither are sexually attracted to guys-but don't worry, having them as friends can be even better.
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