A
female
age
30-35,
*kduarte
writes:Me and my bf have been together for a little over 2 years. Recently, I've found out that he's cheated on me. He says that he's truly sorry and that he wants to be with me because he loves me. I've taken him back but I'm still confused on whether I've made the right decision. For me of course, this is so painful. I've never been so depressed. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I still love him and want to be with him; but at the same time idk if I can trust him again? Idk if I even still really want to be with him. I'm confused. What would you do, if you were me?I need advice, please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): Don't even consider being friends with this guy if you decide to break up. I don't know what's up with these people who feel the need to keep someone who has hurt them, as some fixture in they're lives. How does someone go from boyfriend to 'BEST FRIEND?" Unless there are children or some sort of business end. involved where the two parties must stay in contact...all of that friend stuff is just that STUFF. Because, what ends up happening is that one of the individual secretly still has feelings for the other person, but they know it will never work out in a relationship, but they still want to keep the person in they're life because, there is still an attachment. AND studies have shown that most people who break up and try to be friends end up ending this so called "frienship" anyways.
You can't always count on feelings and emotions either because, I do believe the heart can lie. If you don't think you can bring yourself to trust him again..LEAVE HIM. Cut him out of your life for GOOD. Don't contact him, don't leave the door open for him to contact you either JUST MOVE ON. Seek therapy, take the time to get over the guy, don't date or get into other relationships until you KNOW not THINK you are over him. Read relationship books and join relationships blogs such as Dearcupid.org.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): If you don't know if you even want to be with him, if there's even a question there, you probably shouldn't be. Relationships are supposed to be trusting, but you can't trust your boyfriend, which is probably the biggest reason you're unhappy with him.
If I were you, since you asked, I would end things with him. If he couldn't be faithful to you once, he'll probably continue to be unfaithful.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (29 July 2010):
 If I were you, I would never have gotten back with this cheater. All those negative/depressing feelings you're having are a clear indication you shouldn't be in this relationship. Relationships should make you happy, it shouldn't be painful. Sure, we get hurt from time to time, but you haven't listed any good reason to get back together. I'm sorry but "I still love him" doesn't count as a good reason. Part of me will always love some of my ex girlfirends, that doesn't mean I'm better off with them.
Break it off and find someone who hasn't hurt you to be with.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): hi, to be honest, don't go back together with him. I had a cheating boyfriend who is my best friend now. he told me straight up that thats the way it is. when you cheat one is forgettable but a second time is because he likes having a girlfriend but loveees hooking up. so if I were u I forget about him if yours plans with him are more than just an awesome sex life.
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