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I'm at my lowest ebb, what do you advise?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

im so fed up with my life.please listen to me-hopefully you can advise.

im 35 years old im living at home-why ? because last year my world fell apart. i left the guy who had been my fiance for 6 years. i got sick of the mental battering and he left me having to declare myself insolvent. so here i am stuck at home. im so ashamed. my mums income is low and the house looks terrible it needs complate renovation some rooms dont even have carpet i feel such a loser. i never invite friends over through the shame. im stuck in this mess for the next 3 1/2 years and i hate my life. i feel worthless im depressed and im sorry for bothering you guys but im at my lowest ebb

View related questions: depressed, fiance, living at home

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010):

Hey, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low. It can be really hard living at home with your parents in your 30's. I am 34 years old and living with my parents. As much as I love them, it is really hard to live with them.

I think in time you will realise that you did the right thing in leaving your fiance. You must never stay around people who display this sort of behaviour.

Keep in contact with your friends for support. Explain how you feel about your home to your friends. If they are any kind of friends, they will not mind that your home is not in a great state of repair.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010):

Hi,

you say you're stuck in this for three and a half years ? why so ?

Fine, so you're not in a very good/comfortable situation. But you must know, however bad it feels that there is no running away from the truth. You might feel embarrassed, but the fact is sooner or later, you'll have to face your friends and most of all, this problem. You can't run away from it.

Its really hard to break up like this and depend on one's parents. You need to think about this. Put your emotions aside and think deeply about this. You need to come up with a solution.

You have every right to feel bad and depressed, but you have no right to treat yourself this way beyond a point. You are not a loser and that's why you are here looking for help. Put yourself together and think of a way of putting an end to your misery.

Take up a job, any job... really. Something that keeps you busy. Its a small step but it'll lead to some pretty positive changes. You need to engage yourself with activities/work. Keep yourself busy. This way you'll improve your own financial position and feel good about yourself.

Just believe in yourself. Stuff go wrong, but eventually things will look up in your favor, trust me.

Please feel free to disagree or further question or talk to me.

Take care :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010):

thankyou for taking the time to reply x

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A male reader, Kenj United Kingdom +, writes (31 March 2010):

Kenj agony auntSorry to hear your feeling low, and right now you probably cant see a way through.

Never give up hope, you dont know what your future will hold for you. Being insolvent is nothing to be ashamed about and neither is having no carpet. You can and will rebuild your life.

Look upon it as given a second chance to start again, theres lots of little ways to start making money which will give you a better feeling of independence. One example is to get some part time work at night in a supermarket.

Just remember when the soles of your shoes are worn down your back on your feet.

Stay strong and try and keep positive.

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