A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok I am a little mortified. A few years ago, I heard my lad mates joking about watching porn on the Internet. I was intrigued and curious more than anything so had a little look myself, looked at a few of the topics, lesbian, oral etc (even though I am not one) Anyway my house mates found out and I feel so embarrassed and mortified. I am a mother now and feel so ashamed. I don't know why I ever looked at it, just pure curiosity. I haven't looked at any since but I bet my friends think I'm a dirt bag now. How can I get over the shame!Thanks in advance
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (11 March 2015):
 You are in your 30's and NOT in a nunnery. YOU have a curious mind and well, hormones.
SO what if you looked at porn? If you sit 24/7 and drool over porn, THAT is your choice.
It doesn't make you DISGUSTING or DIRTY for having looked.
I bet ANY and ALL of your friends have looked too. Now they may nor want to admit it, but most people HAVE watched porn, ready erotica or fantasized about sex.
I don't watch porn (but I HAVE in the past with my husband) I feel absolutely NO shame in that. I picked even it out (porn made For women BY women). So what?
I would wager a BET that 90% of men (over 18) have watched porn. And... maybe 85% of women. It's OUT there - it's easily available. People are curious and horny.
Being a mother doesn't mean you now have to be a Saint. It doesn't mean you no longer feel horny. You are still 100% human. And being horny is part of human nature for MOST people.
Let it go, chill. Don't be ashamed of your sexuality or your humanity.
A
male
reader, Lightspeed Lemon  +, writes (11 March 2015):
 Well, yeah, it is embarrassing to have that out in the open. (And yes, people can feel shame over something they don't believe is wrong, such as others finding out the sorry state of your finances or taking a huge dump in the bathroom right before someone else walks in.) Your housemates, if they are your age or younger, have almost certainly watched porn themselves and have no right to judge. I think it's safe to assume everyone these days has seen it before, though that doesn't necessarily mean they like it or view it regularly. You were just unlucky enough to be caught.Did this really happen a few YEARS ago? And it hasn't blown over yet? Trying to explain it to your friends now may be too awkward and they probably won't believe you anyway. You say they found out but how do you know? Did they mention it to you and has their behaviour toward you changed?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 March 2015):
 IMO there is no shame in looking at porn.
I remember being a child of the 70s and checking out the "girly magazines" my dad kept in his night table (with mom's knowledge and permission)
as a young adult I remember babysitting for friends (I was a newlywed) and they said "after the kids are asleep we got a hold of a copy of "Deep Throat" if you want to watch it. (a very classic 1970s porn film)
what makes you feel shame about looking at porn?
unless I know what about it makes you feel shame I can't address your concerns since I don't feel shame when I look at porn (and yes even now at 55 I have been known to check it out)
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