A
female
age
22-25,
*elaney
writes:Hi allHave a bit of an unusual question but here goes -I am a published fiction writer in the UK, and am in the early stages of writing a book about a teacher/pupil relationship. I have been reading through stories on this site and others like it, and would be extremely grateful if those of you affected by feelings or relationships with teachers could private message me your stories, or post them in reply to this question as part of my research. I will not use any names or any exact details of your situations, I simply need to learn more about the thoughts and feelings of especially the students in these situations. Best wishes,Delaney. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): Hi!
I am also sixteen and i just finished my first year in high school. I had a gym teacher that was very hot, and everybody had "crushes" on him. It was his first year as a real teacher as well, he is 30 years old. He is very professional, he is very private about his life and he does not like to talk about other stuff than school "projects" because he finds it very inappropriate. I remember one time my friend (who is a lesbian) tried to hug him, because she always hugs the teachers in school and she is very cosy in that way. And he pushed her away and said that it would be very inappropriate if he did that. Anyway he was at first only my gym teacher, but then he said one day that he wasn't going to have us anymore, we were going to have a female gym teacher instead. We all thought like no, because he was a good teacher. Anyway he did not leave the school because it was only a problem with hours because he is a English teacher as well. So for six months we did not have him in any subjects. But we always said hi in the hall, and I had a few moments with him when he was talking with my friends (Who he still has in gymnastics). I've noticing him looking at me in the hallway, and one time I was talking with my current gym teacher, and he has his desk just next to hers. He was looking at my ass. I noticed, and it is really hard to explain because it wasn't just that he was looking, it's the way he was looking. It's like "I wan't You so bad", and of course I don't see a problem with that, you know "Look but don't touch" He was very professional, and he did not ever come up to me to say something, only when I said something to him, that's the only times we used to talk. But then after Christmas, we found out that we were going to have him in English C. So at first I just respected him as a teacher, because English is also my favorite subject. But then with the time I also started to like the way he looked at me, I almost started to tease him with these little stuffs. You know like dressing up in sexy (Not slutty) but sexy clothes only when we were going to have him. When I caught him looking I always throw my hair around little discreet, and touch and stroke my thigh and pull down my shirt just a little bit so that he would see more of my breasts. At first I just liked what I did, but then I realized how I was behaving and I stopped. I felt kind of silly, but I also realized that I liked him more than I first thought. He always asked me how I was doing, and that's something he never asked the other girls and they made it a big deal because I was a "teacher's pet" according to them just because of that. Anyway, he was still very professional and did not ever cross the line. Until one day, it was two weeks left until the summer vacation, and that's like three weeks ago. After months of just flirting and superficial conversations he made a move.The lesson had just finished and everybody ran out of the classroom and I had a lot of papers on my desk so I was slower than the other girls, and after a few minutes it was just me and him. He sat by his desk just watching me, and when I walked toward him to throw the papers he looked away, he seemed bothered and uncomfortable. I asked him what he was going to do that night (It was Friday). He said that he was going to go to a friends house with his girlfriend and he said girlfriend with a bit louder voice, It felt like he did that just to prove that he was taken, or something I don't really know, but I got a strange vibe when he said that. When I was done I was walking towards the door when he said "What are you going to do?" It made me turn around and walk towards his desk instead. I said that I had plans on going to a party but my friend's friends are not the kind of people I wan't to hang out with, so I had not made up my mind yet. He just looked into my eyes and said uh-uh. And then he walked away from the chair to the door, he closed it and looked the door. He turned around and looked at me. He said, "(My name), we both know that something that should not be going on is going on, you are very mature and I feel like we are attracted to each other" I was speechless, so chocked that he said that. But he was right, and I knew it. Then he continued and said; "If I weren't a teacher, and you were a few years older, then it would have been OK, but now it is not OK... we should both know that,(My name)". I was still speechless but finally said; "I know". He smiled and walked to his desk again and said, "Good, now we have worked that one out, just as long we both know nothing can happen it's OK with the rest". I did not really understand completely what he meant. I smiled back and grabbed my purse and began to walk towards the door again. But then I turned around and out of nowhere I said; "You are great, you should know that if you weren't my teacher I would throw myself at you" I don't know why I said that but I did, and that made him once again leave his desk and come up to me and he looked deep into my eyes with a serious face. He said, "We, no there isn't a we.. but we can never happen(My name), so please don't say anything like that again... you only make me wan't it more" Surprised of his words I looked down on the floor. Then I looked up again, into his eyes. I just wanted to kiss him, I liked him a lot and I did find him very attractive. I wanted him, It was like I could not control myself. He seemed nervous and swallowed his saliva over and over again. We just stood there for a couple of minutes, and then he looked away and when our eyes meet again we could not control ourselves. We shared a passionate long kiss, he pulled me against the wall and there we kissed. I hold him tight and he had one of his hands on my back and the other one in my hair pushing me against him. After a few minutes it was like we realized that we had both been living out a "fantasy". We immediately stopped and he could not look into my eyes anymore, he walked around in the classroom and he looked very confused. I was toooo, very confused. Then he said; "OK, Now seriously we can not do this... I was way out of line.. I'm sorry (My name). You should go and we should not talk about this again" I did not say anything, I took my purse and I left the room. When I was walking to my locker I felt like my heart was broken, just as i had realized that I was in love. I had already had a crush on him for almost a year now, and that had turned into real feelings. This was our last English lesson, because the week after we did other kind of activities in school so I did not have him anymore. When I saw him the first days after what happened, I just tried to hide and avoid him because I did not know what to do if our eyes meet in the hallway. I was not ready, but of course when I tried the most to avoid him I meet him everywhere I went. The first time was close to the school bathrooms. He looked at me and I looked at him, but that was it. Not hello, not anything else. The second time was when I needed to talk with my computer teacher, that also has his desk in the same room as Him. He wasn't there when I came in to talk to my computer teacher, but he came in later when I almost had finished talking to him. My computer teacher said that he needed to copy a paper and that I could wait there. So he left the room and once again I was alone with Mr "English". We looked at each other and then I could not stand not saying anything so I said; "I've been thinking about you" He looked away and then he said; "(My name), I think about you all the time.. but we have to move on" He looked at me and tried to smile, I felt a little better when he said that he thought about me a lot. It made it a little easier to try to move on. I don't know why... my computer teacher walked in after that so we did not say anything else. I smiled at him on my way out and then the last time I saw him was last week on the seniors graduation. He starred at me for a very long time, even my friend said that he was acting a little weird. But I haven't told anyone. And I won't. I think about him every single second, he makes me wan't to wake up every morning. And I do know that I must move on, it's the best thing to do, and I don't wan't to feel like this when school starts in late august. So that's my story, I've also read a few other posts here on Dearcupid because I wanted to see how it worked out for other people. But the only thing I found was immature girls who doesn't understand better. I believe that a person is who they are because of the environment they live in, and the bringing up (education) their parents give them. I do not think that I am immature enough not to decide if I wan't to sleep with an older man (Witch I have seen many people say in the advices to peoples questions). I do know what I wan't, And I would only do what I wan't and nothing else. And I only do stuffs that I believe is going to be good for me. And everything we do is a experience. Good or bad, we learn from them. And experiences gives knowledge.
Don't know if I was to any help, but anyway it helps me to talk about it.
Good Luck with your book!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Hmmm where to start...
well I was 15 when this PE teacher came to my school for 10 months work experience. ALL the girls fancied him but for some reason i just thought, 'oh, everyone fancys him' and I was kind of found that unattractive because I dont like fancying a guy that everyone else does.
Anyway, 10 months of his work experience were up and he was offered a job at my school and he accepted.
Then it was the summer holidays and I went back in Year 11, after all the school crushes on him had calmed down, and I dont know why but I looked at him and realised just how gorgeous he was.
He was about 5'9, with light brown hair, brown eyes and a gorgeous smile. he had a really innocent face that I was drawn to and compared to this other pe teacher- another male with bright blonde hair and a cheesy grin- he was even more gorgeous.
Me and my friend used to go to the cafeteria at lunchtime, sit near him and giggle like idiots because he was honestly sooo lovely.
anyway, I used to go to basketball practise after school which he started to run and he helped me with all techniques and stuff. I realised i really, really liked him as a person- he was funny, charming, charismatic. he really treated me like a proper person instead of just a student.
One day after school I was the last to leave after getting changed from basketball office and he called me into his office.
We just started talking about loads of stuff and his phone rung, but he didnt answer it. He said he would get it later, and when I asked who it was he said it was his ex girlfriend, who he had split up with last week. I said I was sorry and out of nowhere we just kissed.
I was 16 and he was 24.
It was the nicest kiss in the world, but then he pulled away and said he was sorry and that he had just done something really, really stupid.
I saw him the next day at school and was talking to some of my male friends and when I saw him walking by I touched one of their arms and leaned in to say something to them. I dont know if he saw or not but that same day he came to my maths lesson and asked to see me.
Then he took me back down to his empty office and told me that he didn't know why but seeing me with other lads made him feel uncomfortable and maybe infront of him I could just cool it off a bit.
We kissed again and since that day he used to come into a few of my lessons a week asking to see me about something important and errmmm you know we would find somewhere 'private'
The thing is about student/teacher relationships is that some people regret them or get caught up in what they think is love, and sometimes you can look back on them and be so glad you had that experience.
My teacher was not a paedophile or a pervert- he was only 8 years older than me- and before anything serious happened with us he would always try and sit me down and explain it was wrong, and it shouldnt be happening and we had to stop it. But we never did because the feelings were there and when they are there's not much you can do to stop it.
I remember every single detail of our 5 month relationship.
And then I left school and, sometimes, I still see him around or if I go back to that school. When I do the spark is still there but I think we're both trying to put it behind us.
I guess we'll just have to see what happens.
...............................
A
female
reader, Delaney +, writes (22 May 2009):
Delaney is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEvening all
Thanks to everyone who has replied - honestly this is great and it's all very valuable to my research.
To those who have suggested I have replied irresponsibly, I can see where you are coming from and I in no way advocate teacher/student relationships; perhaps I came across wrongly in my reply. Simply, I think writing a letter to a teacher who is leaving confessing feelings to them will bring some amount of closure, which otherwise may haunt these girls for the rest of their lives - and the poster was 16 which means in this country if he is no longer her teacher, any relationship is perfectly legal. However, if he was to return to the school obviously then that would not be the case. Sorry I should have perhaps made that more clear. My intentions are not to 'manipulate' anyone into anything; Im not running some kind of guinea pig scheme I'm just genuinely interested in these situations for the purposes of my writing!
Again thankyou all, even the debate from those pointing out the negatives of these relationships is all very interesting.
Delaney
...............................
A
female
reader, kitty_3  +, writes (22 May 2009):
 hey! i have a story for you so feel free to pm me!
...............................
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger + ♥, writes (20 May 2009):
 to the anonymous poster - thank you for the compliment!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): celtic tiger i agree with most of your points. you have shown that you are a responsible teacher and that there are still good ones out there.
(some/most)teachers abuse the relationship of trust and actually enjoy manipulating these kids.
i also agree Delaney was somewhat irresponsible with her 1st advise. i believe she is actually advocating teacher/student relationships.
what a pity - this will probable get me into trouble but i have to say it - first the teachers abuse the relationship of trust and Delaney i am hoping when you are corresponding with these teenagers privately that you are not giving them false hope. i m hoping this website will not be used for selfish gain and that these teenagers/kids will not be manipulated into bigger and dirtier secrets to unburden their souls. for now they think it is so cool for an adult to want to know their stories, their heartbreak and so on but i am hoping this does not blow up in an innocent someone's face.
...............................
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger + ♥, writes (20 May 2009):
I agree with the anonymous poster below.
I am a teacher, but I think I can safely say, that everyone, whatever their age, sex or race has had a crush on a teacher at some point in their school career. Be it, in primary school, secondary school with raging hormones, or at university. There will always be the teacher you secretly fancied the pants off. (often the strapping handsome PE teacher).
A lot of young people experience this feeling of a CRUSH, and mistake it for LOVE. Often it is just a case of growing up and discovering the feelings and emotions of adult life. The first flush of hormones and the beginning of sexual awakening can easily confuse you. So that it is very easy to mistake genuine teacher behaviour, of caring and being attentive as "he/she really likes me""they give me more attention""he/she keeps looking at me" etc etc etc.
More often than not, this type of thing, is very one sided on the part of the pupil. The teacher may not even realise what is going through the Childs head.
A teacher can show concern, be friends and treat the student as a person, a young adult, rather than a child - often something which may not happen amongst their peers, or at home, and sometimes, this can be mistaken for "romantic attraction", which then turns into infatuation and reading into signs which are never actually there.
I know that many of the young posters on this site who are convinced they are in love with their teachers think it is "true love", but how many of the teachers are actively trying to send out these signals, and how many have accidentally got themselves an infatuated love-sick teenager?
I think we need to try and educate these vulnerable children to show them, that what they are feeling isn’t love, and that these emotions are all part of growing up – and crucially, that if a teacher DOES reciprocate their feelings, that it is totally wrong, and they should be reported.
I feel that your answer to the first poster, agreeing that she should send her teacher the letter telling him how she feels was fairly irresponsible. What happens when she does? If he is a decent teacher he will report it to his headteacher, as this is an untenable situation, and he could get into a hell of a lot of trouble if she starts gossiping - teachers are ALWAYS guilty until proven innocent when it comes to this type of situation. She will be hauled up in front of the Head, and told in no uncertain terms, that this isn’t going to happen. Things will be awkward, she will be embarrassed.
I know some people do not agree with my views on this, but personally, I think teacher-pupil relationships are morally wrong.
I think any teacher that has a relationship with a student should be struck off immediately, as they cannot be trusted with children, but also that a lot of the time, children become infatuated and develop CRUSHES - just as they do with pop stars and film stars who they think are madly in love with them, and are going to marry in the future. Sadly, teachers are not posters on a wall, and whereas the pop star will never know that girl "A" wants to kiss him and have his babies, the teacher gets the full brunt of her obsession. Instead the teacher gets letters, flirting and the possibility of losing their job, and reputation if they even slightly step out of line.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): dELANEY, I don't know what angle you are writing your book but one thing strikes me all the time. these so called teachers take advantage of their students. they knew that the students see them as near perfect and they use and manipulate these girls into a sexual relationship. they so called high caliber professional men and women use their status to get between the girls legs, these girls are in all innocence just coming of age, and who is there to teach them about their first sexual encounters. why the upstanding teacher of course.
what these girls do not relaise is these teachers are grooming them , just loke how the paedos do it to other girls. all for sexual gratification. these girls if only they take off their rose tinted naive glasses will realise that their teachers are actually raping and violating them. theur so called loving married teachers just want to get between their legs, violate their virginity and still appear to be the upright citizens of their town. what a disgrace, what a farce. teachers have broken every rule in the teaching code of conduct. yet their girls naively think it is LOVE. in actual fact it is greed, violation, rape, and these teachers mess up the girls lives forever.
there should be a subject in school teaching girls about the pitfalls of teachers. telling them that it is RAPE AND NOT LOVE. BUT SADLY NOONE WILL DO THIS. AND THE GOOD TEACHERS OF THE WORLD WILL JUST CONTINUE RAPING AND MESSING YOUNG KIDS LIVES .FOREVER.
if the sexual acts were conducted byt he girls and ordinary males then our sick society will scream., write petitions and get the offender imprisoned for his rape. yet the teachers because of their posiiton of trust gets away with their sexual crimes. and we just let them.
the real paedos are actually in the schools. we are just too blind to see it. and the foolish students just give their virginity to these sexual predators. these girls don't know how many students the same teacher has slept with. they also think that their teacher is only having sex with them and not their married partners.
the school environment is a sexual mating place between teacher and student. no one want to tacke this ao yes, teachers you just continue to RAPE and conduct sordid sexual conduct because you can.
it is not a love affair but a CRIME CONDUCTED. BUT NO BODY WANT TO SEE THE REAL SITUATION. WE JUST ROMANTICISE THIS SICK CRIME.
...............................
A
female
reader, reign154 +, writes (20 May 2009):
Wow the number one subject isn't it? Student's want for teachers. You know it is pretty cool that you are writing a book on this and asking people their stories because it lets people express them selves and open up to you without feeling like they are being judged. I think that's what people here really want someone that will listen to them and try to understand them without always judging. So i say congrats to you. :). Now for me i know personally what it feels like to want a teacher to have the same feeling for you as you do for them, and how many times you come to the reality that it isn't going to happen like a story book fairy tale. I remember meeting my friends teacher and i always thought that there was something between us by how our eyes met or how i felt tension whenever he was around. I read into everything he said and each look he gave me. Sometimes i wanted to ask him or just throw myself at him, but i wasn't brought up that way. I'm not a quiet person at all but when around him its like he knew what i was thinking before i could say it and i guess he knew how i felt a little when we were around other people. I have to admit i loved being alone with him because it gave me a chance to get to know him a little. My friends always would say that i was an open book when it came to him and you know what they were prob right. I would try to go to tutoring even when i didn't need to just so i could spend time with him. I wasn't obsessed with him at all, but i guess i was a bit in love.But what is love? i mean people say this all the time, but what does it really mean? Anyway that was last year, but this year is much different for some reason now when i would get near him i would get angry or we would have a dispute and i really doubt either of us knows exactly what it was for. I tried to avoid seeing him and would walk by him in the halls as if he wasn't even there and i guess he got the point because soon he started to do the same thing to me. My senior year is basically over and i've been having dreams about me or him crying while we were talking, Strange right, but i guess its a message telling me that i need to bring some closure and try to start over with him even if this will be the last time we will see each other. I don't want things to end sour between us so i have to close this once and for all so that i wont have any regrets. Srry this is soo long but i want you to try and see how it is through the eyes of someone who did fall in love with their teacher and is now trying to say see you soon instead of saying good bye.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): Hi,Saw your request when I was reading through the questions and thought I'd breifly share my experience.A couple of years ago I was in a commited relationship ( same sex) and had just started college. One of my tutors was very friendly and nice and took a lot of interest in me. After a year or so we became closer and their was heaps of tension between us. After a social school function we had too musch to drink and I ended up sleeping with her. After this the whole thing became a nightmare. People found out, but as it was only a 'rumour' she got really crazy and was very emotionally abusive. She yelled at me all the time, would cry and scream at me when she was stressed and tried to run me down infront of other tutors( probably so they wouldn't believe me, even though I told noone what was going on). She even tried to convince other tutors to fail me so I couldn't come back the next year... which they wouldn't as I was a good student. She made my life a living hell for another year before I got my degree. Now I am a high school teacher, and even though this happened to me at college I would never ever dream of doing this to a student. It was so unfair as the balance of power leaves the student feeling powerless when it all goes wrong.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Just a quick message to A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009):You say you havent found closure in 6 months. A friend of mine has taken 2 years before she found any type of closure only to go and see the teacher again by chance and it has opened up all the old wounds. You will find closure though!.
...............................
A
female
reader, xCharliix +, writes (18 May 2009):
 heya.. im in a situation at the mo. and it sucks. :)
i've got loads more to tell you private message me :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): Just a quick message to "A reader, anonymous, writes, (13 May 2009):" i.e. the first answer: Hey there (And Delaney too!), I was in your predicament. For details, read my question titled 'I love my teacher who now lives on the other side of the world, what do I do?' To this day I regret not having the guts to take some time and sit down with that teacher just so we could explain how we felt about one another. Because now, I have no closure to this thing I started with him, and so I have no way I can move on. And whilst you might read my story and think 'Nah, that'll never happen to me.', it will happen. If you don't have closure, you're not going to be able to move on. Because after he leaves, you miss him CONSTANTLY, you think about him CONSTANTLY, you fantasize and dream about him CONSTANTLY and he seems to be in your mind far more often than he was when he was with you. And everything just builds up. It gets a lot worse before things start to look any better, and still, in 6 months, I haven't found any closure, I haven't found a way to move on. PLEASE listen to me, and save yourself the agony, the pain and the utter suffering. Give him that letter, please give it to him. Make it clear to him that you want a reply, BUT THAT IS IT. Make it clear to him that you realise this is jeopardizing his career, and that you DON'T WANT TO PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. Make your feelings clear to him, and that is all. He should write back, stating his feelings clearly as well. This will provided good, solid closure for you, which ever way he answers. But please, please, please do it, it's the only way you're going to be able to move on from him, and I just don't want you to have to learn that the hard way like I'm doing, because it's too late once you don't do it, isn't it. P.S. - Maybe you should find out for certain whether he's leaving or not, because things may become a little awkward for you both next year if he does come back once you've exchanged letters. My best wishes, xxxDelaney, I admire your perseverance in writing a book on this subject. You may find my story useful, however a warning: it doesn't come with a happy ending........Do you reckon you could let me know by posting another question when your book is finished and published? I'd love to read it. Best of luck, xxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): My story is a same sex story between me and the most gorgeous maths teacher I have ever met.
We are so incredibly close, she has told me stuff shes told no-one else. Shes told me she trusts me. We share books, we have so much in common. We remember things we've told each other. we ask each other about things going on in each other lifes.
We just get on so well. Its like she knows me inside out already.
we cant take our eyes off each other, we flirt constantly. We have little inside jokes. We congratulate each other on things. We are proud of each other.
We are 18 and 28, both female. But its not going to stop me. She is amazing, I have never met anyone who understands me the way she does. She has this smile that can just take away all the problems in my life. I hope that when I leave the school, i finally get to tell her - however deep down I know she already knows. She doesnt seem to mind tho, I dont go about making it un-obvious.
I am in love with her, with her - not the maths teacher the person. The 28 year old female, who likes sport, reading and school holidays!. The one who talks to me as a person not a pupil. The friend, not the teacher.
...............................
A
female
reader, eagle101 +, writes (14 May 2009):
Hi, so I am in Jr. High and I love my teacher. Hes an amazing guy who loves to flirt with me. He also puts his hands on my shoulder and back when I talk to him. He does not do that to anyone else I know. Also I wanted to spend time with him one day so.........I stayed after school on a HALF DAY. We talked, flirted and we just got really close. If I could re-live that day I would. I hope this helped you out with your novel somehow! (Other people might say I am CRAZY for "loving" him. )
...............................
A
female
reader, samtfs +, writes (14 May 2009):
yeah, I'm almost 17.
...............................
A
female
reader, Delaney +, writes (14 May 2009):
Delaney is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks very much so far, they're both great, everything helps at this stage.
The first anonymous poster, I think, yes, go for it. You're right you will have to wonder for the rest of your life if you don't, and I'm a firm believer in 'no regrets'. However, if he does return to teach at your school whichever way things go it is likely to be a little awkward; if he reciprocates your feelings then you will have to work out between you what to do.
Samtfs, can I ask how old you are?
Also if anyone else wants to reply feel free, as I say I need as much feedback as possible really.
Delaney
...............................
A
female
reader, this_years_love  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 haha too cool i'm currently writing a novel of the same type and did a lot of my research on this site!
best wishes!
...............................
A
female
reader, samtfs +, writes (13 May 2009):
Here's the question I just recently asked...if you have any questions or comments, or want anything in more detail, you can message me at anytime! Good luck writing your book, let me know how it goes!
Okay, wow..I cant believe im doing this, but yeah this is another dumb teenager in love with her teacher, well in this case, my former teacher. I know there has been many questions like this, but i just need some help...
Well, when i was in 7th grade, i saw him a couple times in the hallways and I, as well as half of the school, thought he was really cute. Then 8th grade came around and I was actually enrolled in his class. My friends and I were happy we had him and we would jokingly talk about marrying him, and stuff like that. So i can pretty much say it started out as a joke.
Anyways, i got to know him more, as my teacher, and he was just amazing. He would help me if i had problems with any other teachers, If i wasn't feeling well, he would be so nice about it. I also had problems at home at the time and i got depressed and quiet, when usually im very loud and outgoing, and he would always ask me what was wrong, and if i was okay...I regretfully never told him anything because im not really an open person and its very hard for me to trust people(i don't know why), even though i think he could've probably helped me through it. He was/is the only person who could make me smile when all i wanted to do is cry. Anyways, I started to talk and think about him all the time, and truth be told, i still do. I would get depressed if i went a day without talking to him, I always tried to find a way to run into him, Not to mention he made me look forward to school everyday...So basically my whole life revolved around this man. He probably could've told me to jump off a bridge and i think i would've done it. He knew i had a "crush" on him, my friend told him once, and he was flattered. He didn't act awkward or anything after that, if anything, it made us closer.
Things at home eventually got better, and i got better, and I remember him telling me that he likes "the new me, the happier me".
He encouraged me to do better in school, to do sports, to just be a better person.
I never called it love, always told myself its an obsession, it'll go away as soon as i leave middle school.
Summer came around and he got married..which made me feel horrible. Well, i left middle school and went into 9th grade, and i still could'nt stop thinking about him. I went back to the school he teaches at many times because i play basketball there..(the school he teaches at, the school i attend, and my house are all by each other)...The more i saw him, the more it killed me, so i stopped going there for a couple of months and somehow something always brought me back..i always wanted/needed to just see him. Tenth grade came around and same story, im still head over heels for this man. This time i have alot of other problems,fell into depression again, but this time its alot worse. I got myself doing stupid things he taught me not do, ofcoarse all out of anger, its like whenever i have another problem, i start to think about him and it makes everything so much worse. I came to the school he works at, many times, to either play basketball or whatever my reason was. I could'nt even sit next to him without looking at his ring, without trying so hard to hold in my tears. He's still the same sweet man he always was. He still always gave me advice about life and what i should do in certain situations.He was always asking me what was wrong and if I was okay, because i obviously look like im depressed, and once again, I never told him whats wrong, because everything is wrong, and i dont think i could tell him all the stupid things i'v done..he would be so dissapointed. I care about this man so much, and i would do anything for him, and thats why i havn't been there for a couple months. I know its only been a couple months but im trying, and even though i know i'll end up going there to see him, im gonnna try so hard not to. I'm not here because i want him to risk his job and lose his family for me, i would never allow that to happen. I'v had boyfriends throughout the years but he's the only one i actually thought about every day of my life and i have never felt this way about anyone else. I can pretty much say Im in love with him. I'v tried so hard to move on so many times, and in so many different ways but i cant...I cant stop thinking about him..
So here is my question..
should I tell him? Before you start to critisize me, i dont want to tell him in hopes of starting anything..I want to tell him because i think it would take so much stress out of my shoulders and help me maybe get over him. The only way i'm gonna stop seeing him is if he knew. Even though i don't think he would make things awkward around me, i would'nt be able to face him if he knew. But i dont want to be selfish and tell him if its gonna bother him. But heres the problem..im not gonna be able to tell him face to face, because theres just so much i wont be able to say, and i dont want to write a letter because im scared he'll show it to his wife or other co-workers, because im more than likely to run into one of them because i live by the school. So should i tell him?If so, how?
or is there any other way to get over this man because its killing me more and more each day. I feel like if i get over him, my other problems will eventually get better and maybe ill start looking at life in a whole new way. I feel horrible even considering telling him because we have a really good friendship and i know this will probably ruin it, but i think im willing to take that risk. I'm just so sick of crying myself to sleep every night, feeling like crap everyday, Iv pretty much hit rock bottom.
Please if anyone has been through this, or i would like any male teachers point of view.
thanks
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Hi, I'm 16 years old and I have this thing for my teacher. He's only 24 and I personally don't think 8 years is too big of an age difference but it's illegal and morally wrong anyways.
At the beginning of the school year, I noticed this teacher looking at me when we passed in the hallways. It wasn't a creepy stare or anything like that. But his eyes would meet mine and he'd look away, and then he'd look at me again, and, of course, look away.
Well, when the third trimester came, I realized that I had this teacher for one of my new classes! I never thought too much of it but I kept getting more and more excited because I couldn't wait to finally be in his class. On the first day we had the new classes, I walked in his room and he was talking to another teacher. He looked over at me and stopped right in the middle of his sentence. Then he looked away and started talking again but he sounded distracted and different than before.
Well, the weeks progressed and I started liking him more and more and I kept noticing more and more signs that he might actually like me back. I had my friend count how many times he looked at me while we went over notes (it was 97 times in 25 minutes). He never came outside of his classroom between 4th and 5th hour but I stood right outside his doorway to talk to my friend at her locker and now he comes out and talks to us. The day I wasn't standing over by his classroom, he came out, looked to the spot where I normally stand, looked around, and went back in his room. My locker is right in front of his classroom. One time when I was at my locker, I watched him out of the corner of my eye. I watched him come halfway out of his room and go back in. Then he came out again halfway and went back in. Then I turned fully and saw him looking through the crack in his door. I know you're thinking that's weird but it wasn't for me. It was actually really cute and he seemed nervous to come and talk to me. I know he's an adult but he's still super young and it's normal to be nervous to talk to someone you like.
I write down everything that happens between us two. I have a calendar and I write down the things I want to remember everyday.
This is my story and I hope it helps.
But could you help me?
I recently found out that he might not be teaching at my school next year and I honestly don't know what I'll do if he doesn't. Do you think I should write him a note telling him that I'm interested in him and give it to him on the last day of school? I understand that it's wrong and I don't want to jeopardize his job or put him in an awkward position. But, what if I never get to see him again and he actually DOES like me back? I don't want to go through the rest of my life wondering what might have happened if I gave him the note.
Thank you. (:
...............................
|
