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female
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anonymous
writes: Help! Im in a dialema, I have met a wonderful guy about two months and have been speaking to him everyday since, we meet up at least twice a week and have loads in common an get on amazingly. Thing is he only wants us to be friends, after being hurt last year is not ready for a relationship. My problem is I have fallen in love with him because he is so great, I eat and sleep this bloke im smitten. We have only kissed once the night we met and havent been intimate apart from hugging. Last week I let my guard down and told him my real feelings and im shocked because it hasnt phased him or scared him off wanting to be with me. But at the same time when I asked him if he is getting attached to me he said no and when I asked if I am potential girlfriend material or only ever going to be mate material he replied at this point in time just mate material. Im so confused because he doesnt just act like a mate around me and if he doesnt hear off me he gets all insecure and thinks im ignoring him or not speaking to him etc.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 September 2006):
 One recommendation: don't have sex with him. It's important that if you do want a relationship with him, you get it on your terms. That doesn't mean having sex with him in the hope that he'll fall for you, and find out nothing has changed other than you both feel very uncomfortable around each other.
A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (6 September 2006):
 Shame my sweets, i know how you feel, i'm in the same situation at the same moment. the only thing we can both do is just be there for them, make sure they know we there for them but not over crowd them and chase them away!
Lets take it one day at a time. don't let the feelings over whelm you so much that we send them running. i ithink the best way to play it chilled. when he is ready to make the next move, be there, but don't don't let other oppotunities pass you either.
He said you mate material for now he didn't say you not girlfriend material for later when he is ready. keep that in mind and good luck
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