A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 33 years old male and as silly as it might sound, I've been terrified of dogs my whole life. When I was 8 years old I was attacked by pack of dogs and I was bitten so severely I had to spend weeks in hospital. I still have scars and ever since that happened I cannot approach any dog. It doesn't matter whether it's a puppy or a grown dog, I start to panic.Now I have met a beautiful and wonderful woman. We met in the Internet and later in life and everything seemed just amazing, as if we were made each for other. She doesn't know about my fear because somehow we never talked about dogs or pets in general. Then she invited me to come over to her place and then it turned out she has a dog, a big dog. I don't know the breeds but it looks like the dog from that movie about Kommissar Rex. When I saw it I thought I was going to die right on the doorstep. I wanted to turn around and cancel all our date but she was already leading me in the room.At first it wasn't so bad because she was with me all the time, we were talking and the dog was sitting in the opposite side of the room all the time. Then she went to the kitchen and left me alone for a while, and suddenly the dog came to me. I was sitting motionless and wasn't even looking at it, I don't know why it came to me. It climbed on the sofa and put its head on my shoulder and I was just sitting there frozen with cold sweat dripping down my back and tears coming to my eyes. For a moment I was sure it was going to rip my throat out. I wanted to yell for her but I was afraid that might be the last thing I'll do.Then the dog went away for a while and came back with something in its mouth and dropped it in my lap. When I dared to look, it was some kind of a dog toy.I haven't talked to anyone about my fear. Mostly it's because I feel ashamed. I believe usually children are afraid of dogs. I haven't told my woman about my fear, I can see she loves her dog a lot. I'm afraid she'll think less of me and I won't be man in her eyes anymore, because what kind of man is afraid of dogs. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2019): I’m exactly the same. I’m afraid of dogs and it has turned to disliking them. I have made it clear to everybody as I couldn’t pretend anymore. I was also attacked by a dog when I was 6, no injury but I slathered from that day until I was 12. I get so uncomfortable around dogs to the point that it effects my mood. One coworker started bringing his dog and I did speak up about my condition so no more dogs at work.
I dated someone with a dog and I suffered the entire time. He was going to let the dog go but I stopped him. I ended the relationship and the dog and dog drama was one of the reasons. I have tried many times to fix this but even their smell makes me uncomfortable. I know I won’t change.
Just tell your girlfriend and stop suffering.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2019): Please don’t watch Cesar Milan. His methods are highly controversial and an alpha demeanour is not what’s best for dogs. Watch any positive reinforcement trainers - like Zac George, Victoria Stilwell, etc.
Also get professional help for your fear, but tell your girlfriend too.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 May 2019):
 You are kidding right ? What kind of man is afraid of dogs ? Uhm, maybe the kind of man who was attacked by a pack of dogs as a child and ended up spending weeks in hospital ? If there's one guy who would be justified in being afraid of dogs , that would be you ! In fact, it's fortunate that you did not develop PTSD after the attack !
Now, you don't have to STAY scared. A person who was run over at a pedestrian crossing once ,generally will not refuse to circulate and to cross the road ever again ( although he / she may become extra cautious ). So, this is the perfect occasion for you, with the help of your dog -loving GF, to break the ice and slowly and gradually learn how to interact with dogs safely, and how to feel comfortable around them. But you can't do that if you don't tell the whole story to your girlfriend.
The dog sounds like he will be pretty cooperative too :) He signaled that he wanted to make friends and to play with you. German Shepherds are incredibly intelligent and this must have already figured out, by his owner's body language and voice, that she likes you a lot and you pose no threat , so the dog is open to like you too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2019): That dog knows how much the girl like you and acting on his best instincts wants you to know he intends to be your friend.You could develop this by taking walks with the girl and her dog and getting to know how a well trained intuitive animal can behave as an obedient-to-your-command animal.But what an introduction!Seems this dog is a sensitive soul.Watch Cesaer Milans show for dysfuntional pets and learn how to give the dog the signals he needs.And confess to the girl that you are not used to dogs and let her allow you to feel comfortable and free around her animal.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (8 May 2019):
 Why should this lady think any less of you because you are afraid of dogs? Now if you HATED dogs, then yes, I could see that being a deal-breaker if she is a dog lover. (I have always had dogs and could never be with someone who hated them.)
Tell this lady that you have something important to tell her and that you need her understanding and help. You may never get over your fear of ALL dogs, but you can certainly work on being comfortable around HER dog, who seems like a sweet intuitive animal who is trying to befriend you.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2019): Honesty is the best policy
Ruth x
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 May 2019):
 Nothing wrong about having a fear like that when you have a past of having been attacked!
Tell your new lady friend about your fear and like Aunty BimBim suggest talk to your Doctor and see if you can get a referral to someone who can help you overcome it it.
The fact that you did run when you first saw the dog is a MAJOR point though. WELL DONE. Even if it was scary.
The dog likes you and seems a pretty friendly sort.
The dog was trying to calm you. If you have ever seem a service dog that works with PTSD people like soldiers, the putting his head on your shoulder and being REALLY close to you is what a service dog would do to calm an anxiety attack. He knew you were scared/nervous but didn't know it was HIM you were fearing so he was just trying to make you feel better. THAT is one super good dog. Doesn't help you, I suppose but I felt you should know what he was doing was PURELY with KIND and GOOD intent.
It is hard to overcome a fear like that, so DO seek help. in the MEANTIME remember this, The experience you had with ONE dog a long time ago doesn't reflect on ALL dogs.
Tell her, she won't look down on you for that. She might even be able to help you face your fears with a TOTALLY safe dog like her own.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (8 May 2019):
 Lots of men and women are afraid of dogs, especially after not being socialised with them or having a traumatic experience - same with any animal.
The thing is, any good pet owner (with VERY few exceptions) will ditch a partner before a pet, so this is a fear you will need to get therapy to overcome, if you want this relationship to work.
Be honest with her. Her dog sounds like a good dog, wanting you to play with him and sharing his toys with you. That is a really great sign, but you will need to tell her about what happened to you and get professional help to overcome it, so you can move forward in life and this relationship.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (8 May 2019):
 This isn’t silly, this is a completely understandable fear. You went through a very traumatic experience and it’s expected to have developed a fear of dogs in response.
You NEED to communicate this fear to your partner. You can’t go into a mental shutdown every time you go to her house and suffer in silence. All you need to do is explain what happened and I’m sure she will be understanding. It may be worth looking into counselling to help move past your fear.
Her dog brining it’s you over is it’s way of saying it wants to play. It means you no harm.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2019): As extreme as your fear is, I think you know it's based on this one terrible experience and it would benefit you more to get some help with it and overcome it, than it would for her to say get rid of her dog.
I doubt she'll see you any differently. So many people are afraid of dogs, it's a common fear.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 May 2019):
 Her dog giving you its toy means he was showing you he wanted to be friends. Tell your girlfriend about your fears, and then talk to your GP for a referral to somebody who will be able to help you overcome your fear.
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