A
female
age
26-29,
*ptongirl3112
writes:Hey so I have been with my boyfriend stuart for 5 months now and we plan to stay together for a long time. However, we haven't had sex yet as it hurts me too much which I don't understand. I lost my virginity before me and stuart got together and now it hurts me to even try to have sex. I went to the doctors and they told me to get KY jelly which we have got and found that it doesn't help. I'm trying to relax myself but finding it very difficult. I'm worried that if I don't do it soon he will go off with someone else :( I know that this situation bothers stuart as he is confused why we can't do it. Please help? Xx
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 June 2012):
 If he leaves you because you won't have sex with him soon, is he really the kind of person that you want to spend your life with?
It sounds like you aren't turned on enough before you start intercourse, how long do you spend on foreplay?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): First of all...you are 16-17 years old...you should not be having sex at all! I completely agree with Janniepeg. If Stuart really cared about you, he would not be pressuring you to have sex...and you definitely sound pressured. Also, you wouldn't be doing it just because he wants it. Good sex involves two people pleasuring one another because they want to...not because they feel obligated to do so. Please think about what I am saying. If Stuart leaves you over this...he isn't the one for you anyway. Trust me on this...I've been through it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2012): I am sorry about this problem hun. There are other women who have pain like you while trying to have sex with their spouse.You can try looking into that and see if you can find better solutions for your problem.Maybe you need a little more intimacy and also him perfoming oral sex on you before actual intercourse will help. Try doing other things to please him until you can really get into intercourse without pain.I do not think he will go to someone else just make sure he has knowledge of what is really going on
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 June 2012):
 KY jelly only helps the penis glide through smoother, it does nothing to relax you, turn you on, and to open you up. The ticking time bomb think certainly did not relax you. Your boyfriend should not be pressuring you into sex. Having sex to please him is also a bad reason to have it. You don't feel ready for sex. True, you did it with another guy before but you weren't ready that time either. Your boyfriend is not very understanding towards female sexuality. There are girls who are precocious sexually. There is no standard that girls have to feel sexual by which age. It is not a girl's job to serve a man sexually. If he goes off he is not worth it. For now you can do oral and hand jobs. He has not said anything about ending the relationship. Maybe it's just in your head.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (6 June 2012):
 Hi. I think you need to go back to your doctor and explain that you tried the KY and it is still painful. I'm sure there's nothing seriously wrong physically but no one can really help solve this except your doctor. Did you see a female one? - if not, you can certainly request to see a female doctor.
I really doubt your boyfriend will leave you because of this. It's just a hitch, and one that I am sure you can work out together. Keep the lines of communication open and good luck.
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