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I'm a young girl attracted to older men

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Question - (9 January 2008) 62 Answers - (Newest, 28 December 2009)
A female United States age 22-25, *spr221 writes:

Okay, I am a 17 year old girl. Since I was about 14 I have only been attracted to older men. And I mean older. 40-60's. I don't find a single guy around my age attractive at all and I haven't in forever. At school the only crushes I have developed have been for my teachers. I grew up a fatherless child and was wondering if maybe that's why I have this problem? I mean there's got to be some reason right? If anyone can help me get some answers it would be greatly appreciated.

View related questions: crush, my teacher, older men

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009):

Well, I guess I'm a kind of beaten-up guy by my mother, and I guess all we people must be damaged goods or somrthing, but at least I can admit it. And I'm not half good-looking either.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009):

Wow. i just looked this up randomly because of issues in my own life. I am also 17 and have never been in a relationship. I have a father, but he is an alcoholic which has naturally caused me many emotional issues. I have been attracted to older men before, but have recently become emotionally involved with a 57 year old. He is married with children...lets just say its extremely complicated, confusing and difficult....but my point is that you are definately not alone!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009):

this just hit me randomly a day or so ago. im only 14 and i realized im like super attracted to guys 30 and older. i thought there was something wrong with me cause i started liking hugh laurie on the show "house". its not a father issue cause i have had both parents forever. ive never had any traumatizing experiences with men or anything... i just like older guys... i like gray hair and beards i guess?

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A female reader, SinaLovesMark Germany +, writes (4 December 2009):

SinaLovesMark agony auntomg! i know exactly how you feel! i'm totally in love with my teacher and he's 48! i'm 18 and men my age are just plain boring i guess. they're just difficult and immature.

i've always been atracted to older men and i totally love grey hair XD some of my friends say i have a father complex coz i've lived with alone with my mom since i was like 4 but in my opinion age doesn't matter if you're in love with someone. it's just a number.

so if there's an older man and you like him... hell go for it girl!

i'm glad that i'm not the only one liking older men :D

take care

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009):

I'm exactly like that, only my dad's been around for like ever and Ive never had any problems in my family, i guess everyone is different. If you watch friends, I like Dr Burke! And Ive also had like loads of crushes on teachers and stuff. Everyones different i suppose, i dont like guys my age either, I dont know why theres just nothing there.

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A female reader, aspr221 United States +, writes (22 October 2009):

aspr221 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

aspr221 agony auntI'm 19 now and in a relationship with a man in his 60's. All I can say now is if it's what you want go for it. For me it feels the same as being with a guy my age, just better because I'm actually into this one. Age isn't a big deal.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009):

This thread is old, but it seems to be quite popular, so I'll post here anyway: I too have been crushing on an older guy, and I'm actually getting over him. I wrote an article on how to do so if any of you want to read it:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-your-crush-on-an.html

Hope this helps!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009):

I love Alan Rickman too... I'm in a semi-relationship with an older man and I've just broken up with another one. I can't sleep thinking of this problem.. Is it really a problem? I googled "loving older men" and I found your post. Thanks for all those who replied. I kinda feel sorry for myself for being like this. T__T

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009):

Thank you so much for making this post. It's so comforting to know that there are others out there that feel the same way I do :)

I'm young but I have always been attracted to much older men, even though my friends would laugh at me for it.

Everyone in these posts have really given me hope.

All my love 3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009):

I have always been attracted to older men since I was a teenager. I'm now 24 years old and I've been dating a 46 year old man for two years now. many times get apprehensive telling people about my boyfriend because of what they might think of my relationship with him. some friends I've told about him seem to be shocked that i'm dating someone 22years older than me. many Their comments are extremely discouraging, and makes me feel that something is wrong with me. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only person who's attracted to older men, and that something may not be wrong with me after all.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2009):

I thought I was the only one! Right now I'm 14 but I've been attracted to my 29 year old teacher for 2 years. He's married and has 2 kids, but he constantly stared at me and I loved it. I just saw him

the other day and he asked me about boys. Is that a sign he is interested? Well, I have been attracted to older guys ever since. I don't care for guys my age. They're immature :/ Oh, and I do have a very loving father so I don't think it has anything to do with that.

I wish I could be with someone older but my parents would never approve of it...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009):

The reason is since you were girl without a father you have always wanted one. That's the reason why you want an older man that is around the age of a typical father, so desperately. Here we go now we have a reason.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2009):

I like Older Women as they are More Mature and can at least Communicate with you.Young girls are hard to figure out and seem totally Self Absorved and Selfish.Some younger girls have Lovely personalities and Nice qualities but getting to know them can be Very difficult.It seems they Love jerks and dont even notice a Descent guy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009):

I am 19 years old, and since about the age of 13 I have been attracted to older men, I had crushes on several male teachers at school, and I felt I could never tell anybody because people would think it was weird. I had a father throughout my life, so I also believe it doesn't have anything to do with lack of a father figure. Now I am in a longterm relationship with a boy my age, who I love dearly, but it still isn't enough! I am ashamed to say 5 days ago, I finally fulfilled my older man fantasy and had sex with a 52 year old man! Big age gap I know but it was incredible! He had the body of a much younger man, and was such a fantastic lover! I feel guilty because I cheated on my boyfriend but WOW!!!! Most amazing sex I have ever had! Now he is constantly on my mind, and I always want to talk to him! We text back and forth everyday and have realised after a long friendship, that we are actually in love. We know we can never be together though because it would cause so much trouble for the both of us. Never thought it would hurt this much.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009):

Hi there, I'm 14. I'm attracted to my 43 y.o teacher. Thank God, now that I know I'm not alone. A lot of people are telling me that I'm weird. I just can't believe it. I like him so much that it's starting to get weird. I still have a father, and things are normal in our house.

I think we just like older men because they are dependable and more mature than guys our age. I think it's supposed to be normal. Right?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009):

Hey, wow, i thought I was the only one as well. Reading everybodies responses was really comforting. I am a 16 year old girl who has had an on-and-off 'realtionship thing' with a 30 year old. And the only thing that has been stopping me from truly going into this relationship was my uneasyness about our age gap. But your responses have ensured me that what i have going really isn't as crazy as I made it out to be.

My dad also died when I was 13 and almost an exact year later I met this guy. I'm sure that there must be some kind of connection to father figures and this older men relationship thing.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

I'm the same way. I'm 16 and since I was 13 I've only been attracted to older men. My parents divorced when I was 7 and sometimes i think i'm looking for a father figure. I usually like guys in their late 30's-50's. I too have developed a crush on a teacher who is 38. He's very smart and mature. I don't have anything against teen guys but i just prefer older men. Like 20+ yrs older. There is nothing wrong with liking a man who is alot older.

Age differencce is a beautiful thing :)

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A male reader, old man United States +, writes (16 August 2009):

Why are you so sure this is a problem? What makes you feel that there is something wrong with you because of this attraction you have to older men?

In many Asian countries today the young women feel the same way you do and it is common practice for younger women to mate with and marry older men. Older men are believed to be stable, secure, trustworthy, and wiser than younger men and younger women are desired for their ability to reproduce and raise the children to adulthood after the father has passed on, not to mention they are very attractive and desirable.

Four to five hundred years ago it was common practice throughout the world. In fact it has only been in the last couple of hundred years that the practice of mating and marrying closer to your own age has become so wide spread in the US and some other countries. Many kings took younger women as their queens or concubines and even in the bible there are references to some of the men taking young brides.

Check out some of the Asian dating websites and you will see many, many young women seeking older men, particularly in the Philippines, in Thailand, and inViet Nam.

Personally I think it is a shame that people are made to feel that there is something wrong with them for feeling something that is perfectly natural.

Those who study human/animal behaviors will tell you that mother nature has endowed men and women with this natural desire/attraction for this older/younger relationships...it is her way of keeping the world populated with human beings sense the man is able to reproduce all the way up until the day he dies while the woman can not reproduce after menopause. It is also a well established fact that young women mature much faster than young men and are thus ready for the responsibilities of relationships, marriage, and child rearing long before younger men are. Young men need to “sow their wild oats” and are not ready for these responsibilities until long after the young woman have been ready.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009):

you know, i cant be entirely sure but the father thing might have something to do with it

im in the same situation, i only seem to be attracted to much older men who are at least 35 lol

i was always very close with my dad, he was a wonderful man, and i always liked guys who reminded me of him. sadly he died when i was 14 and that made the problem of liking older men even worse. i always go for men who are almost impossible to have a relationship with because of the huge age gap but i just cant seem to help myself, its almost like being with an older bloke is the closest i can get to having a father figure around again. lol i know that sounds bit twisted but yeh, plus older guys tend to be more mature, not to mention experienced :P

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009):

I'm a just-turned-20 year old and I, too, thought I was alone. I've always looked longingly at older men but never thought they were within my grasp until I got into college where I started to date and pursue older guys (as I was around them more often).

Now I'm attracted to (and want to begin actively pursuing) a charming, sweet 39-year-old.

I'm nervous and I have to be more careful than I normally would because of the 19 year age difference, just so I can find out what he's like, but I do worry about my parents and what they would think.

I guess I'll just have to take it slow and all in stride..and see what happens!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009):

you hit it right on the nail honey thats exactly why girls who grew up without a father want one right? so if they've never had that their gonna be attractectot older men.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009):

i wonder why some of us are attracted to older men, while others are not. it's frustrating because at times i can't openly talk about my boyfriend (who is 12 yrs older than me) to people who don't know me as well as my closest friends. I don't have a problem with being attracted to older guys, i think its great. my boyfriend happens to be on the younger end of the spectrum.

a lot of you on here wrote how your guy is great, not in it for the sex, etc. but a lot of my crushes are mostly sexual fixations. i couldn't see myself in a relationship with them, and as horrible as it sounds - i just wanna fuck 'em :)

i think someone mentioned their doctor, sometimes going to my hot dentist can be hell..

and im glad im not the only Alan Rickman fan here. god that man is just too goddamn sexy for his own good. if i ever met him i dont think i could keep my hands off. haha :D

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009):

57 year old physician, married, with 2 daughters. I'm not sketchy nor am I shady! I just like to chat with young women. Maybe I'm getting older and crazier!

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A male reader, 0848OpsChf United States +, writes (17 April 2009):

When I was 15 I had a relationship with a much older woman.

That was the best 3 months of my life she taught me things that I would have never learned in a life time. She taught me how to be mature and what a woman really wanted. I cherish that time and always brings a smile to my face thinking about it. Everyone has the ability to make choice sin their lives just make sure it is really what you want.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009):

Hey hun I'm 16 and since I was 13 I've had this thing for older men. Not a couple of years older, I'm talking about men in their late 30's-early 40's. I prefer older men because they are more experienced and way more mature than teen guys. I too grew up without a father. My parents divorced when I was 7 and my dad has been in and out of my life. In some ways I think that might be a reason. I want a father figure who can be more than just that to me. Someone who can act like a dad but be someone else when it's just the two of us alone. If I was in a room with an 18 yr old and a 38 yr old, I'd look at the 38 yr old first. I agree with alot of the posts that it's a personal choice. Although some people don't want the judgements they might hear, I do. I want people to have a problem with it because it'll make me want to be with that older man even more. Let people say what they want, everyone has an opinion but I think age difference is a beautiful thing. I can relate to you when you said you've had crushes on teachers before cuz my freshman year I had a serious crush on my English teacher who was 36 at the time and I was 14. So it is perfectly normal, everyone has their own taste in guys and it's nothing to be embaressed of.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009):

I am 21 right now, and my boyfriend is 42. We've beed together for almost 8 months, and we love each other very much. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, and I don't believe it has anything to do with having a father or not..i grew up with a loving father...

but to all the girls out there that are attracted to older men..you have to be careful and make sure that the man is not trying to take advantage of you...but if you meet someone older and you want to put the effort into the relationship, go for it...it's not easy, people are very judgemental(i moved out of my parents' so i can be with him because they can't accept him)...good luck to all of you :)

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A female reader, candycrucifix13 United States +, writes (12 April 2009):

candycrucifix13 agony aunti'm 16 and its almost the same for me. i want men that are far too old for me. my dad was always in and out of jail or something like that. i like men because... it seems like i can comfort them, make them feel appreciated, and wanted. men like us because we're young, sexy and sweet. the same reason we like them. its misunderstood in peoples eyes and when you're with a man and you feel the same about each other, you two are connected by the thoughts.

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A female reader, Lovesouthernmen United States +, writes (18 January 2009):

Hi, I'm only 24 and am currently in a long distance relationship with someone that's only 39 going to be 40 soon.

I know how you feel on being attracted to older men. I'm not sure about the father situation since I've never been fatherless except when I was little and things like that. I don't find this a problem at all. Boy! I thought I was alone when it comes to being attracted to older men. Some older men aren't gentlemen so you have to be real careful. But, others are.

Not all older men are perverts and such. In fact, the man I'm currently in a long distance relationship with is kind, caring, loving, and very very respectful. He's from Alabama. I believe allot of men our age are too immature so, I think that's why us women have this attraction towards older men. At first, I thought being with someone older was okward but, when you're with them, it doesn't seem all that bad. If you really like a person, you can stick with that person. Just as long as you're happy.

I don't understand why society has to view this particular topic okward but, in my opinion, people love to stereotype, and discriminate. Just follow your heart.

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A female reader, jazzi_girl United States +, writes (31 December 2008):

I think for some ppl it may be a daddy issue, but not for all. My father is in my life and we're pretty close and im 19 yrs old in a relationship with a 47 yr old man. At first it was a little awkward, but we love being with eachother and are very happy where we are.

I dont think its weird, i just think young immature guys just dont do it for many young women.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

I'm only just turned 16 a couple of weeks ago an im in love with a guy in my class i mean i would die for him we've neved dated but we are always there for each other and we have majorly flirted with each other for over 3 years and today he asked me(half jokingly i think)''Could I ever satify you'' and i felt awful because when he said it i thought'' if you cant then your dad sure can''but i didn't say it! He's only 16 and he plays rugby and he's dominant,masculine muscular,gorgeous,intelligent,funny and tender and turns me on so much and about 5ft 11ins lol anyway his dad is 40 and soooo hot he's sexy,caring,funny,smart,fantastic body for his age and great with kids-i know i shouldn't be considering its my crush's dad i cant help it he's just so damn attractive he's muscular and 6ft 2ins of pure masculine unadulterated lust an i have no fucking clue how i got into this mess lol i really love the guy thts my age but his dad is just so damn hot and i've had dreams where i've had sex with him and i have woken up the next moring really horny (perfect for going to school lol) and i dunno what to do about it.

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A female reader, Chrissy63 United Kingdom +, writes (9 December 2008):

Well I feel the same! Since I was 14 I have always looked at older men and they are always so nice and caring with me. My last guy was 42 and I kn ow thats too old but wow it was good!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008):

What that is older, but you have to be careful some men will try to take advantage of you. I know where your coming through I'm a 19 year old whose dating a 31 year old.

You have to make sure that your incontrol. Your a woman You'lll find a way.

^^

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008):

I'm 18 and have always liked older guys too, i didn't grow up fatherless so i don't reckon that has anything to do with it. It's just personal preferance at the end of the day and all you need to do is trust your feelings.

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A female reader, Anthro United States +, writes (3 August 2008):

Hey girl, I'm really glad I read this forum, because I was feeling really guilty about being attracted to an older man. I see now that it isn't the taboo some people would like it to be, and in the restrictions of the law should be allowed to flourish. I don't always agree with the law on this particular subject, but it's best to wait so neither parties can be prosecuted unduly.

As to the father thing, I'm not sure. I mean I stopped speaking to my father when I was about 12, for valid reasons, but I have always even when I was younger liked the idea of an older man. Though haven't yet been able to express that desire.

So in conclusion I agree with just about everyone on the forum, it's perfectly normal to be attracted and have relationships with older men, as long as it's consensual (like with any relationship).

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008):

A few follow-up thoughts from my June 14 post. To the orginal poster, if you are attracted only to older men, then I say just go with your feelings, and don't worry about the age difference. People can't help who and what they are attracted to, or who they fall in love with. So if you get into a relationship with an older man, just go with your feelings and you will be fine.

Being a man in my 50s, if a 17 or 18 year old girl was attracted to me, I would treat her like a queen and be very affectionate, loving and supportive of her. You should know that there are men like me out here who really appreciate sweet, beautiful girls, (young women, really) like you and would shower with you with lots of love and affection if we were lucky enough to have a relationship with a teenage girl.

And to the 40 year old guy who posted about 16 year old girls asking him to take him home, don't look a gift horse in the mouth! If these girls want to get in bed with, then give them what they want! Just make them promise not to tell anyone so you won't get arrested, or just date 17 or 18 year old girls, whichever age is the age of consent where you live.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008):

As I wrote in a previous thread, I am still great friends with one of my old teachers, with whom I used to have a sexual relationship. He's in his thirties, and he's not the only older man I've been deeply attracted to.

I believe that the lack of a 'father figure' in my life had something to do with this, as although my parents are happily married, I was sent to boarding school at a pretty early age, and I really think this gave me a pretty f***** up view of life.

My school was an all girls school, and had mostly female teachers, so there weren't many men with whom I had contact, apart from the couple of male teachers employed (it was with one of these teachers that I became 'involved'). Also, because my school was several hours away from home, I only ever really went home in the holidays, and thus didn't see my father very often at all.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008):

You may be right that you are attracted to older men because you didn't grow up with a father. So, you may be seeking the attention of older men to satisfy the love that you would've gotten from your biological father.

Also, thank you to the anonymous female who posted about men who aren't bothered by the age difference and aren't leches. You are right, there are men like that out there, and I am one of them. I am always very sweet and loving toward the women I've been lucky enough to have relationships with. And I would definitely be that way with a young woman in her in very late teens or early 20s. Every once in a while I get admiring glances from women who are 30 years younger than me (I'm 51) and I am always very flattered when that happens.

So just know that there are older men out there who would love and cherish a much younger woman, who wouldn't mind the age difference, and are not perverts or leches.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008):

I am seventeen years old and, as far back as probably age twelve, I've been attracted to older men. I always told myself I wouldn't date anyone in high school and, having just gotten out of a bad relationship with a high school boy, I am now doubly adamant about that.

I do a lot of theater and have been doing this for a long time, so I'm mostly around people much older than myself. Because of this environment, you tend to get to know them in a more adult setting, making you more mature yourself.

The age gap always seems an issue, and it's tough to find someone who a) doesn't mind, and b) isn't a letch. But they are out there.

It's unfortunate that there is such a taboo on younger women dating older men because I think a lot of successful relationships could result. I suppose I shall just have to wait until I turn eighteen.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008):

Interesting! These replies from young girls have given me some insight into what's going on. I never thought being forty myself would attract girls half my age (or less). But such is the case and it's a bit embarrassing when sixteen year old girls ask me to take them home...Many of them are quite sharp with street level smarts. When they are looking cute and flirty it makes it very tough on a guy though.

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A male reader, oldfool Australia +, writes (7 June 2008):

oldfool agony auntThere's nothing abnormal about younger women liking older men. What is abnormal is a society that presumes to tell you it's abnormal.

The only caveat is, don't go poaching married men. They are probably the most attractive mature men of all, but that's no excuse for stealing them from their wives.

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A female reader, aspr221 United States +, writes (7 June 2008):

aspr221 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

aspr221 agony auntThanks again for responding everyone! and btw i know! i saw Iron Man and as soon as I got home i was googling pictures of Robert Downey Jr. he is so so hot.

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A female reader, aspr221 United States +, writes (7 June 2008):

aspr221 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

aspr221 agony auntThanks again for responding everyone! and btw i know! i saw Iron Man and as soon as I got home i was googling pictures of Robert Downey Jr. he is so so hot.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008):

You have nothing to worry about. I am 19 years old, and I am the same way. I could care less about boys my age, or even 5 years or so older. I like the thirty and forty year olds. We went and saw Iron man the other day, and I seriously thought Robert Downey Jr was soo hott, and not even my mom likes him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

funny your right,,i am older and my owner is 24,,she has a way about herself,i really don't get any choice other than to provide her all i can

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

I understand you having a "problem". I'ma guy and my "problem" is I prefer to hang around with girls aged from 18 to middle 20s.

While true some men may be perverts or dirty old men, that's not always the case.I was always called "ugly" by my own a-hole of a father. You hear "ugly" EVERYDAY you believe it.

Believing it(wrong or right)means I shied away from asking girls out. Never had a girlfriend. hell! First time I went to see a prostitute and had sex was when I was 32 years old. Wasn't enjoyable because I longed for a relationship.

13 years later have not gone to any other prostitute(that one experience turned me off from it)but also still haven't asked any girl out. As much as I try to forget anytime I want to ask her out the voice "you're ugly" comes back to haunt me. I've tried blocking it trust me!

But I do find I'm much happier when surrounded by a female from 18 and to mid-20s. I used to work with many females in that age group before I left for another job. Guess their happiness and fun reminds me of all the stuff I never had. Besides they made me feel handsome for a few seconds.

So you see not all men are dirty old men. Don't be too quick to judge if you think all 45-year-olds want sex from the younger ones. NOPE! I'd be happy just chatting at the local coffee shop or going to a rock concert or other event. I have so much to catch up on. And can live my life through them(if I ever decide to ask--though not shy as used to be still am somewhat around females).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008):

well I'm a 19 year old college girl and I have a crush on a 50 year old male and boi he actually really like me I can tell he isnt one of thoes guys that are just after sex he really enjoys my company and he is a sweetheart i kinda have my doubts about actually liking him but when I think about it I really do like him he's funny and has a great personality :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008):

Hello call me a pervert if you like,but it's natural for men to find women attractive once they have adult features, and for thousands of years older men have married girls in this age range and even younger,you can't argue with nature,it's a shame peoples views are so backward about this topic,I'm 40 and really fancy girls 14-18,of course I won't date younger than what's legal ,but I have dated loads of 16 and 17 year olds over the years,there is a lot of girls like this that love older men,and the older I get the more offers I get.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008):

i always fancy older men too .. like now for example i fancy my teacher at school and after a trip to the doctors today i have also realised that my doctor (in his 50s of something!) is also incredibly good-looking aswell! So yeah i now fancy 2 older men both of them about the same ages. Way too old for me but hey, im never going to try seduce them or anything so whats the harm in fantising? ;)

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A female reader, xxxangelxxx United Kingdom +, writes (4 March 2008):

xxxangelxxx agony auntdon't worri ur not alone! i have the same issue, i just cnt date guys my own age or younger, and im 16!

im AlWAYS attracted to older men, i think its because im rather inexperienced so therefore love to be in the hands of someone much more experienced than me becasue i feel protected. x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008):

hi, i AM an older man (39) - ive never dated anyone more than 4 years younger than me. girls my own age i tend not to get along with as well. i think its partly because girls seem to be a little more mature than males of the same age, so if i dated a girl who was 39, she would seem like 49.

i think theres a comfortable 10 year age gap that can be crossed. after that it could be debatable to others if the relationship was healthy or not. but there are no hard or fast rules once your 16-17,

though be careful.

not all 39 years olds are as charming as me.

: )

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008):

whoa! I'm not alone in this world. Seriously, I'm 17 and since i was 14, i started developing crushes on guys in their 30's-40's and i thought something was wrong with me! I felt like certain older men I've encountered in my life have truly connected with me and who i am rather than what i can physically offer. It shows not only genuine interest but respect. I've had a huge crush on a co-worker who's in their 30's and he is attractive, interesting and all of the above. What surprised me later on I've recently been crushing on my teacher who is a musician and has shared many of the same interests as me, has seen the world and I want to learn more about him, but I always felt the age gap was an issue. It amazes me how much more i like him every time i see him. I feel that guys my own age are in a whole different chapter in their life and are just plain immature and still figuring out they are and quite frankly my patience runs thin when they have NO communication skills. soo personally, and this is my opinion, young women should try dating older men and you might find it worth your while.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008):

whoa! I'm not alone in this world. Seriously, I'm 17 and since i was 14, i started developing crushes on guys in their 30's-40's and i thought something was wrong with me! I felt like certain older men I've encountered in my life have truly connected with me and who i am rather than what i can physically offer. It shows not only genuine interest but respect. I've had a huge crush on a co-worker who's in their 30's and he is attractive, interesting and all of the above. What surprised me later on I've recently been crushing on my teacher who is a musician and has shared many of the same interests as me, has seen the world and I want to learn more about him, but I always felt the age gap was an issue. It amazes me how much more i like him every time i see him. I feel that guys my own age are in a whole different chapter in their life and are just plain immature and still figuring out they are and quite frankly my patience runs thin when they have NO communication skills. soo personally, and this is my opinion, young women should try dating older men and you might find it worth your while.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008):

i'm 16 and like older guys too! Coincidentally enough, ALAN RICKMAN!! I loved him in Die Hard, and everything else. I thought i was weird for being attracted to older men, so I googled it and got this, thanks!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008):

there is nothing wrong I like younger girls 18 y/o I get along with them better and enjoy spending time with and talking with them

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A female reader, aspr221 United States +, writes (1 February 2008):

aspr221 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

aspr221 agony auntAgain, thank you to everyone who has responded. I've read them all and all of you have been very helpful. And it's not so much that I'm worried about it, just curious. But anyway, if anyone still wants to respond, I'm still reading these! :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008):

why worry why you're attracted to older men. I am 39 and since a young age have been attracted to older men 50+. I fell in love and had a relationship with a man of 61 when I was 23. Now I like men in their 60s. Not a problem.

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A female reader, Lady Aunt United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2008):

there is a reason: its your head. your head is telling you you like that perticular person.

Its just something that happens dont worry

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A female reader, guylovesme United States +, writes (24 January 2008):

guylovesme agony auntSome people think it s a missing or abusive father that makes you feel attracted to older men. But thats not my case. Since I have a father and he's a wonderful man, but Im seriosly attracted to older guys. I had a affair with my college professor. (Lol He was my mythology teacher) Like you I always had crushes on my teachers becuase boy my own age seemed like complete immature fools. Naturally most girls are more mature then boys especially at your age. It doesn't really stop intil college and my current boyfreind is 10 years older then me and my friends think he's too old but he's the youngest I've been with. I don't think about it so much I think Im attractided to mature men. Fine with me Im happy.

So my advice is ask yourself why your attracted to them. Don't let other people catergorize you into the stereotypical group. My advice for you is to wait till your at the age onf conest where your mother cant charge the older man for being a pedophile, its on the news alot...

When i was you age I had a crush on my Science teacher and he was around 50 years. He was really into marine biology and I was and my father and him went on a scuba diving trip... I think he liked me as any teacher would like a good student.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008):

i totally know what you are talking about!

i'm 15 & i like older men, too. i'm in a relationship with one right now; he makes me feel like, amazing!

i grew up fatherless too, so maybe that is a logical reason.

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A female reader, aspr221 United States +, writes (12 January 2008):

aspr221 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

aspr221 agony auntThanks for trying to help everyone. And it's also nice to know that I'm not the only one. And i wasnt specifically talking about my teachers that was just an example. I mean my mom's friends and famous older guys *cough* alan rickman *cough* lol...but again, thank you!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008):

i have a dad present in my life but im still attracted to older guys like you and theyre also round 40-50 years old. im only 13 though unlike you. its very hard to concentrate in school and i always want to bump into him to chat n stuff.

i told 4 of my close friends and now most of the class know, it a bit embarrising when they talk about it loudly and he hears.

if its bothering you tell him, if he is an honest guy he will say im flattered but i cant date you. when my teacher found out he avoided me for ages but now were close again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008):

I dnt know, coz i have a father present in my life and me and him have the usual father-daughter realtionship... and i still love a teacher.

Maybe the teachers u have became attreacted to have great personnalities?

A dno but having a father not present in your life aint always y girls tend to fancy older men

x

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