A
female
age
18-21,
aspr221
writes:Okay, I am a 17 year old girl. Since I was about 14 I have only been attracted to older men. And I mean older. 40-60's. I don't find a single guy around my age attractive at all and I haven't in forever. At school the only crushes I have developed have been for my teachers. I grew up a fatherless child and was wondering if maybe that's why I have this problem? I mean there's got to be some reason right? If anyone can help me get some answers it would be greatly appreciated.
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crush, my teacher, older men Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): What that is older, but you have to be careful some men will try to take advantage of you. I know where your coming through I'm a 19 year old whose dating a 31 year old.
You have to make sure that your incontrol. Your a woman You'lll find a way.
^^
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): I'm 18 and have always liked older guys too, i didn't grow up fatherless so i don't reckon that has anything to do with it. It's just personal preferance at the end of the day and all you need to do is trust your feelings.
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female
reader, Anthro +, writes (3 August 2008):
Hey girl, I'm really glad I read this forum, because I was feeling really guilty about being attracted to an older man. I see now that it isn't the taboo some people would like it to be, and in the restrictions of the law should be allowed to flourish. I don't always agree with the law on this particular subject, but it's best to wait so neither parties can be prosecuted unduly.
As to the father thing, I'm not sure. I mean I stopped speaking to my father when I was about 12, for valid reasons, but I have always even when I was younger liked the idea of an older man. Though haven't yet been able to express that desire.
So in conclusion I agree with just about everyone on the forum, it's perfectly normal to be attracted and have relationships with older men, as long as it's consensual (like with any relationship).
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): A few follow-up thoughts from my June 14 post. To the orginal poster, if you are attracted only to older men, then I say just go with your feelings, and don't worry about the age difference. People can't help who and what they are attracted to, or who they fall in love with. So if you get into a relationship with an older man, just go with your feelings and you will be fine.
Being a man in my 50s, if a 17 or 18 year old girl was attracted to me, I would treat her like a queen and be very affectionate, loving and supportive of her. You should know that there are men like me out here who really appreciate sweet, beautiful girls, (young women, really) like you and would shower with you with lots of love and affection if we were lucky enough to have a relationship with a teenage girl.
And to the 40 year old guy who posted about 16 year old girls asking him to take him home, don't look a gift horse in the mouth! If these girls want to get in bed with, then give them what they want! Just make them promise not to tell anyone so you won't get arrested, or just date 17 or 18 year old girls, whichever age is the age of consent where you live.
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female
reader, NikitaDisraeli  +, writes (14 June 2008):
As I wrote in a previous thread, I am still great friends with one of my old teachers, with whom I used to have a sexual relationship. He's in his thirties, and he's not the only older man I've been deeply attracted to.
I believe that the lack of a 'father figure' in my life had something to do with this, as although my parents are happily married, I was sent to boarding school at a pretty early age, and I really think this gave me a pretty f***** up view of life.
My school was an all girls school, and had mostly female teachers, so there weren't many men with whom I had contact, apart from the couple of male teachers employed (it was with one of these teachers that I became 'involved'). Also, because my school was several hours away from home, I only ever really went home in the holidays, and thus didn't see my father very often at all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): You may be right that you are attracted to older men because you didn't grow up with a father. So, you may be seeking the attention of older men to satisfy the love that you would've gotten from your biological father.Also, thank you to the anonymous female who posted about men who aren't bothered by the age difference and aren't leches. You are right, there are men like that out there, and I am one of them. I am always very sweet and loving toward the women I've been lucky enough to have relationships with. And I would definitely be that way with a young woman in her in very late teens or early 20s. Every once in a while I get admiring glances from women who are 30 years younger than me (I'm 51) and I am always very flattered when that happens. So just know that there are older men out there who would love and cherish a much younger woman, who wouldn't mind the age difference, and are not perverts or leches.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): I am seventeen years old and, as far back as probably age twelve, I've been attracted to older men. I always told myself I wouldn't date anyone in high school and, having just gotten out of a bad relationship with a high school boy, I am now doubly adamant about that.
I do a lot of theater and have been doing this for a long time, so I'm mostly around people much older than myself. Because of this environment, you tend to get to know them in a more adult setting, making you more mature yourself.
The age gap always seems an issue, and it's tough to find someone who a) doesn't mind, and b) isn't a letch. But they are out there.
It's unfortunate that there is such a taboo on younger women dating older men because I think a lot of successful relationships could result. I suppose I shall just have to wait until I turn eighteen.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): Interesting! These replies from young girls have given me some insight into what's going on. I never thought being forty myself would attract girls half my age (or less). But such is the case and it's a bit embarrassing when sixteen year old girls ask me to take them home...Many of them are quite sharp with street level smarts. When they are looking cute and flirty it makes it very tough on a guy though.
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male
reader, oldfool  + ♥, writes (7 June 2008):
 There's nothing abnormal about younger women liking older men. What is abnormal is a society that presumes to tell you it's abnormal.
The only caveat is, don't go poaching married men. They are probably the most attractive mature men of all, but that's no excuse for stealing them from their wives.
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female
reader, aspr221 +, writes (7 June 2008):
aspr221 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks again for responding everyone! and btw i know! i saw Iron Man and as soon as I got home i was googling pictures of Robert Downey Jr. he is so so hot.
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female
reader, aspr221 +, writes (7 June 2008):
aspr221 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again for responding everyone! and btw i know! i saw Iron Man and as soon as I got home i was googling pictures of Robert Downey Jr. he is so so hot.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): You have nothing to worry about. I am 19 years old, and I am the same way. I could care less about boys my age, or even 5 years or so older. I like the thirty and forty year olds. We went and saw Iron man the other day, and I seriously thought Robert Downey Jr was soo hott, and not even my mom likes him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): funny your right,,i am older and my owner is 24,,she has a way about herself,i really don't get any choice other than to provide her all i can
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): I understand you having a "problem". I'ma guy and my "problem" is I prefer to hang around with girls aged from 18 to middle 20s.
While true some men may be perverts or dirty old men, that's not always the case.I was always called "ugly" by my own a-hole of a father. You hear "ugly" EVERYDAY you believe it.
Believing it(wrong or right)means I shied away from asking girls out. Never had a girlfriend. hell! First time I went to see a prostitute and had sex was when I was 32 years old. Wasn't enjoyable because I longed for a relationship.
13 years later have not gone to any other prostitute(that one experience turned me off from it)but also still haven't asked any girl out. As much as I try to forget anytime I want to ask her out the voice "you're ugly" comes back to haunt me. I've tried blocking it trust me!
But I do find I'm much happier when surrounded by a female from 18 and to mid-20s. I used to work with many females in that age group before I left for another job. Guess their happiness and fun reminds me of all the stuff I never had. Besides they made me feel handsome for a few seconds.
So you see not all men are dirty old men. Don't be too quick to judge if you think all 45-year-olds want sex from the younger ones. NOPE! I'd be happy just chatting at the local coffee shop or going to a rock concert or other event. I have so much to catch up on. And can live my life through them(if I ever decide to ask--though not shy as used to be still am somewhat around females).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): well I'm a 19 year old college girl and I have a crush on a 50 year old male and boi he actually really like me I can tell he isnt one of thoes guys that are just after sex he really enjoys my company and he is a sweetheart i kinda have my doubts about actually liking him but when I think about it I really do like him he's funny and has a great personality :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Hello call me a pervert if you like,but it's natural for men to find women attractive once they have adult features, and for thousands of years older men have married girls in this age range and even younger,you can't argue with nature,it's a shame peoples views are so backward about this topic,I'm 40 and really fancy girls 14-18,of course I won't date younger than what's legal ,but I have dated loads of 16 and 17 year olds over the years,there is a lot of girls like this that love older men,and the older I get the more offers I get.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): i always fancy older men too .. like now for example i fancy my teacher at school and after a trip to the doctors today i have also realised that my doctor (in his 50s of something!) is also incredibly good-looking aswell! So yeah i now fancy 2 older men both of them about the same ages. Way too old for me but hey, im never going to try seduce them or anything so whats the harm in fantising? ;)
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female
reader, xxxangelxxx +, writes (4 March 2008):
 don't worri ur not alone! i have the same issue, i just cnt date guys my own age or younger, and im 16!
im AlWAYS attracted to older men, i think its because im rather inexperienced so therefore love to be in the hands of someone much more experienced than me becasue i feel protected. x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): hi, i AM an older man (39) - ive never dated anyone more than 4 years younger than me. girls my own age i tend not to get along with as well. i think its partly because girls seem to be a little more mature than males of the same age, so if i dated a girl who was 39, she would seem like 49.
i think theres a comfortable 10 year age gap that can be crossed. after that it could be debatable to others if the relationship was healthy or not. but there are no hard or fast rules once your 16-17,
though be careful.
not all 39 years olds are as charming as me.
: )
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): whoa! I'm not alone in this world. Seriously, I'm 17 and since i was 14, i started developing crushes on guys in their 30's-40's and i thought something was wrong with me! I felt like certain older men I've encountered in my life have truly connected with me and who i am rather than what i can physically offer. It shows not only genuine interest but respect. I've had a huge crush on a co-worker who's in their 30's and he is attractive, interesting and all of the above. What surprised me later on I've recently been crushing on my teacher who is a musician and has shared many of the same interests as me, has seen the world and I want to learn more about him, but I always felt the age gap was an issue. It amazes me how much more i like him every time i see him. I feel that guys my own age are in a whole different chapter in their life and are just plain immature and still figuring out they are and quite frankly my patience runs thin when they have NO communication skills. soo personally, and this is my opinion, young women should try dating older men and you might find it worth your while.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): whoa! I'm not alone in this world. Seriously, I'm 17 and since i was 14, i started developing crushes on guys in their 30's-40's and i thought something was wrong with me! I felt like certain older men I've encountered in my life have truly connected with me and who i am rather than what i can physically offer. It shows not only genuine interest but respect. I've had a huge crush on a co-worker who's in their 30's and he is attractive, interesting and all of the above. What surprised me later on I've recently been crushing on my teacher who is a musician and has shared many of the same interests as me, has seen the world and I want to learn more about him, but I always felt the age gap was an issue. It amazes me how much more i like him every time i see him. I feel that guys my own age are in a whole different chapter in their life and are just plain immature and still figuring out they are and quite frankly my patience runs thin when they have NO communication skills. soo personally, and this is my opinion, young women should try dating older men and you might find it worth your while.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): i'm 16 and like older guys too! Coincidentally enough, ALAN RICKMAN!! I loved him in Die Hard, and everything else. I thought i was weird for being attracted to older men, so I googled it and got this, thanks!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): there is nothing wrong I like younger girls 18 y/o I get along with them better and enjoy spending time with and talking with them
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female
reader, aspr221 +, writes (1 February 2008):
aspr221 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAgain, thank you to everyone who has responded. I've read them all and all of you have been very helpful. And it's not so much that I'm worried about it, just curious. But anyway, if anyone still wants to respond, I'm still reading these! :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): why worry why you're attracted to older men. I am 39 and since a young age have been attracted to older men 50+. I fell in love and had a relationship with a man of 61 when I was 23. Now I like men in their 60s. Not a problem.
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female
reader, Lady Aunt +, writes (27 January 2008):
there is a reason: its your head. your head is telling you you like that perticular person.
Its just something that happens dont worry
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female
reader, guylovesme +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Some people think it s a missing or abusive father that makes you feel attracted to older men. But thats not my case. Since I have a father and he's a wonderful man, but Im seriosly attracted to older guys. I had a affair with my college professor. (Lol He was my mythology teacher) Like you I always had crushes on my teachers becuase boy my own age seemed like complete immature fools. Naturally most girls are more mature then boys especially at your age. It doesn't really stop intil college and my current boyfreind is 10 years older then me and my friends think he's too old but he's the youngest I've been with. I don't think about it so much I think Im attractided to mature men. Fine with me Im happy.So my advice is ask yourself why your attracted to them. Don't let other people catergorize you into the stereotypical group. My advice for you is to wait till your at the age onf conest where your mother cant charge the older man for being a pedophile, its on the news alot... When i was you age I had a crush on my Science teacher and he was around 50 years. He was really into marine biology and I was and my father and him went on a scuba diving trip... I think he liked me as any teacher would like a good student.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): i totally know what you are talking about!
i'm 15 & i like older men, too. i'm in a relationship with one right now; he makes me feel like, amazing!
i grew up fatherless too, so maybe that is a logical reason.
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female
reader, aspr221 +, writes (12 January 2008):
aspr221 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for trying to help everyone. And it's also nice to know that I'm not the only one. And i wasnt specifically talking about my teachers that was just an example. I mean my mom's friends and famous older guys *cough* alan rickman *cough* lol...but again, thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): i have a dad present in my life but im still attracted to older guys like you and theyre also round 40-50 years old. im only 13 though unlike you. its very hard to concentrate in school and i always want to bump into him to chat n stuff.
i told 4 of my close friends and now most of the class know, it a bit embarrising when they talk about it loudly and he hears.
if its bothering you tell him, if he is an honest guy he will say im flattered but i cant date you. when my teacher found out he avoided me for ages but now were close again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): I dnt know, coz i have a father present in my life and me and him have the usual father-daughter realtionship... and i still love a teacher.
Maybe the teachers u have became attreacted to have great personnalities?
A dno but having a father not present in your life aint always y girls tend to fancy older men
x
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