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I'm a university student with feelings for a staff member but I don't know if there's anything there or not?

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Question - (26 August 2015) 1 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *_waldorf writes:

I'm a mature student and i have feelings for a member of staff at my uni.

theyre not directly my teacher but i dont know if theres anything there.

We message for hours on end when we're talking, but there are periods when we dont talk at all.

He often compliments my ability to manage work, uni and a child, and there have been small gifts exchanged.

I had last messaged him several weeks ago and didnt need a response, and when i had decided that he only replies out of courtesy.

but the other day he messaged me out of the blue, and i dont know if this means anything or not.

View related questions: my teacher, period, university

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A female reader, autumnsand United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2015):

autumnsand agony auntIt is difficult to know exactly what someone's motives are or how they feel. But from what you have said, I don't think he sounds very interested. If he was, he wouldn't go for long periods without contacting you, and then contact you quite at random.

He may certainly be impressed with how you manage things and wanted to tell you, but he may have simply meant it as a compliment and nothing more. It is hard though, because when we like somebody we always hope that things they say and do mean more, and we look for signs that they like us too.

Regardless of whether there could be anything there from his side though, he sounds rather unpredictable with contact, and that shows me that he isn't really committed to anything more. Perhaps he has a partner. Perhaps he is busy. I don't know. But my advice is to try and pull away from this guy, to spare you this confusion and any further pain, as I really don't see much here from his side at all. I know that will be difficult and may not be what you want to hear.

Good luck, I hope things improve for you.

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