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I'm a tomboy, but want to be more girlier. What should I do?

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Question - (30 April 2006) 10 Answers - (Newest, 29 April 2012)
A female , anonymous writes:

hi

i am 16 and i am a tomboy. the only problem is, is that i want to become a bit more girlier in the way i look. i want to start wearing make up and girlier clothes but its hard cos my older sister who is 17 is still a tomboy and i am afraid she will tease me. i also think my friends will tease me about it, they will all make such a big deal out of it all!

i cant handle it when ppl make a big deal out of stuff like tht so i dont think i could cope.

what shall i do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2012):

well,i'm feeling that way too.............i play basketball with my guy friends and i'm MORE comfortable with them than my girl friends...........in school,i'm girly but in our neighborhood,i'm a tomboy......it really feels awkward for me,but i'm trying to change my habits into girly ones,like changing what i wear and putting on some hair clips......that's all i can say

GOOD LUCK

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010):

dear anonymous,

if you want to change your image to suit you then you shouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks. Just do what ever you feel comfortable.

love Sheryl hope you make the right choice for you xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008):

I know how you feel, i am tomboy who wants to become more girlier. The problem is i am doing it for the wrong reasons. i am doing it because my ex best guy friend always calls me a boy and becuz most my friends are girly and i feel left out. If your doing it for the same reasons, then dont do it. Ask yourself "is this really wat I want?" If it is, then try asking one of your friends that is girlier than you. maybe she can help.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008):

First of all, you need to ask yourself why exactly you want to be more of a "girly girl" because that will greatly influence the expression of this desired femininity. For example, if you're doing it because you want attention from the other half, then perhaps "girly" isn't necessarily what you're going for -- you would be better off saying you want to look "sexy" in that case. However, if you're like me, and you just want to appease the people around you (such as family members), then perhaps you just need to encorporate a few feminine things into your appearance without affecting comfort, such as painted nails and ballet flats. Either way, the best way to be more "girly" is to do and wear things that guys cannot (or should not), so just ask yourself the question, "Could a guy do this?" and if the answer is "No way!" then you've found yet another "girly" thing to do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007):

hey girl, im 19 and i was a tomboy too. to be honest with you i was a tomboy turned 18 then i felt like i should be less like a boy and more like a girl. im gonna tell you that the change isnt tat bad. your 16 and people are started to think that you should be more like girl. so they are kinda lookin for yo to make that change here soon. so whe you do make it they wont make fun of you, and if they do dont let it get to there just haten' and you dont need that. its hard enough o be a teenage girl and to let that stuff get to you just makes it harder. just do a little at a time or do it all at once. but just always remember this little tip little and light makeup looks alot better then lots or pounds of it. so the less the better, the more you put n the faker and dumber you look. just little foundation,powder,blush,if your tan maybe brown and or gold tone eyeshadow and if your skin is lighter then ligt pink tones look or almay has that stuff that makes your eyes pop it awsome,black and very little eyeliner(makes your eyes look awsome and stand out.) and as far as lipgloss goes

(put on chapstick first makes them soft and the lip stuff go on smoother)pick something thats clear to a light pnk with a glossy look r the same color as your lips with a shine to it, you will look so pretty. and for the hair the stright look is in and its way cute it may take few mins to do but its well worth it or if your hair is curly and dont want to take the extra time just ear it down and like that its very girlie when you wear a t-shirt with your makeup nd your curly hair, it looks like you want to look cute and you do butyou just wanted to chill-lax and ppl think that you just threw something one and youll get ppl telling how cute you look all day. take these tips and put thim to good use oh and one more thing act like a girl and be very confident and upbeat ut dont act like the girls on the movie "mean girls" they're just mean thats not the way girls act. and one other thing make sure you pickk out clothes that you like just make sure that they fit good not big but not small they it just rite you dont have to wear high heels to be girlie everyday nike shox can be just as girlie if your clothes fit and are not baggie. have fun and hope it all works out for. its relly fun and watch as all the guys heads start to turn and chek you out as they will because now they will start to notice you more because you looked good before but you have just improved your self and you now look 10x better and alot more girlie. HAVE FUN AND GOODLUCK ITS REALLY EASY YOU'LL SEE

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006):

i am exactly the same but only 12 so ppl help me too

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2006):

hi! if you are really afraid about how others will react, maybe you could try to act girlier or more feminine before changing your appearance (if you are not sure how your friends/sister will treat you). ask your friends if they want to go shopping sometime or something like that. and the appearance changes don't have to be extreme -- a cute top, different shoes, or a little lip gloss might help make you start to break out of your tomboy mode. but remember that the bottom line is whether or not you are happy with yourself. if this is something that you really want, go for it. best of luck!

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A female reader, Ana183 +, writes (2 May 2006):

Ana183 agony auntHi there chic, I agree with Yourstruly, and I understand how u feel. I am 16 in july, and I used to be a tomboy. Now I wear smart but sexy jeans, nice fitted tops, I wear make-up, and most of the time I straighten my hair.

If u decide to go for the more feminine side, I'll give you a few tips, and also my own tips that may help u:

1. Like Yourstruly said, you could start with suttle make-up like lip gloss n eye shadow, then u can build it up by starting to apply light foundation to suit you and blusher. I get nearly all my makeup from places like ASDA and AVON, as I find it very reasonable

2. For Clothes, you could try buying a pair of nice Jeans or normal black trousers (not baggy) that fit you perfectly and that bring out the slimness in you. You can also find nice fitted tops (even plain fitted ones look sexy on anyone) I get nearly all my clothes from GEORGE at ASDA. I find it very reasonable, the clothes fit perfectly, theyre well made and arent too expensive either!

3. My Hair is at shoulders length and is layered and "chopped into". I use "Morphy Richards" Hair Straightners which were £80 at the time (i think there about £60 now). You may think that that is a lot of money! And I agree, but it was well worth the pay as I havent had a problem with them, and they come with a guarantee, so if they brake, u get a new pair free if theyre still under guarantee! However, if u can't afford to pay that price, you can get a decent pair (maybe from ARGOS) for at least £20, maybe less! When I straighten my hair, I section it off so I can get to the very bottom of my hair (which is important!). After my hair is straightened, if it looks a little flat, i spray a little "sunsilk" hairspray in my roots starting from the bottom by lifting up my hair, and working my way up. This gives it extra volume and will make your hair look super sexy.

I hope my tips give you loads of help, and even if people do tease you, I can tell you now that it is because they are jealous, because you are growing up, and you'll be getting even more looks from the guys! Just hold your head high, be confident, and let them know that you're not bothered if they tease you!

Please keep in contact to let me know how u go on. You could either keep in contact with me through DearCupid or u could e-mail me at [email address blocked]

SWING THOSE HIPS GIRL!

GOOD LUCK!

LOADSA LUV xANAx

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A female reader, Danielle934 +, writes (1 May 2006):

Danielle934 agony auntI know what you are feeling; me and my older sister were both tomboys. She was 18 when she moved away from home and I was almost 16. I didn't have the guts to start being more girly until she was gone. I was also afraid of being teased by other people, but she was the main one.

You have to have the guts to just go ahead and start being more girly. You may think the teasing will be horrible, but in reality it really is no big deal. I thought I would be teased a lot, instead I mainly got compliments on how much better I looked, even my older sister started wanting to know exactly what makeup I put on and stuff like that. If being more girly is what you really want to start doing then go for it... do what makes you happy! You may get teased a few times, but they will soon get used to the new you and it will all be over. In my opinion the longer you wait to make the change, the worse the teasing will be. Why not try what I did and slowly make yourself more girly so it is less noticeable, unlike just out of the blue be all prettied up.

Good Luck!

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A female reader, yourstruly United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2006):

yourstruly agony auntHey sweet i really wouldn't worry about it if you are comfortable the way you are then stay that way!!! otherwise have you not got girlfriends that you can exchange makeup tips with and go shopping with.You are still only young so try making suttle changes like applying a little lip gloss and eyeshadow.After all being feminine and girlie isn't just about the way you dress it's the way you act and carry yourself.just be true too yourself and do what you feel comfortable with.hope this helps.xx

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