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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: hi there. i am a 28 year old teacher..been working near London for about 5 years.. problem is I met a girl on line about 4 months ago..she is 17 doing 'A' levels in a different school (about 100 miles away) i might add, and is quite mature..we get along great..chat most days..and have formed a really good friendship. She wants to meet up some time soon..what should i do? Am i doing anything wrong by meeting her..or chatting to her for that matter.your advice would be greatly appreciated Reply to this Question
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male
reader, BadVoice  +, writes (2 January 2008):
If she is 17.....then it's only a matter of months before she is 18. Why don't you wait?
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (27 December 2007):
 "I am a 28 year old teacher..been working near London for about 5 years.. problem is I met a girl on line about 4 months ago..she is 17... and is quite mature"
I don't think so. MATURE at 17? I think you're kidding yourself.
Trust me; I was in a relationship with an 18-year-old when I was 28 and she seemed MATURE, and all my friends thought so too. Needless to say she wasn't as mature as she initially made out... Hid it well for the first 6 months then all hell broke loose and it was like going out with a spoilt brat.
Age 21+ fair enough but I think you're kidding yourself.
Perhaps you want us to say "yes she's legal" and "morally you're ok". However, I think the very fact you're asking if it's ok shows there is some doubt in your mind about whether this is right. Sounds you're a little uncomfortable with it to be honest so why get involved?
By saying things like; "she is 17 doing 'A' levels in a different school (about 100 miles away) i might add" and " is quite mature" sounds to me like you're trying to justify it. If YOU think it's ok and you're comfortable with it then why the need to justify it?
The fact you're a teacher may complicate things further; you could be jeopardising your career too. How would your employer feel about it?
I'm afraid from me, it's a MOVE ON.
Up to you though. Best of luck :)
p.s. I know this is extreme but technically I suppose you could say it's legally ok for a 60 year-old to date a 16-year-old. However, most people (and quite rightly so) are of the opinion that is WRONG. So the issue isn't a question or LEGALLITY or MORALLITY. The issue is you don't seem COMFORTABLE with it.
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male
reader, legacy +, writes (27 December 2007):
I'd be careful. How do you even know this is a real girl and that's "her" real age? Don't is my advice. Especially being a teacher, you may be needlessly endangering your career and reputation.
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female
reader, this_years_love  +, writes (27 December 2007):
 i have a fair bit of personal experience with almost exactly the same situation...same age difference...same deal with chatting online..he was a teacher...
it's a lot to write so if you'd like to chat about it PLEASE message me on here, and i'll write back and send you my e-mail so we can chat...
i'd really like to help:)
good luck
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): If you want to be friends I see no problem. There is nothing wrong with meeting or talking to her. Age shouldn't stand in the way of friendship. But be prepared for others to see things differently and/or assume that there is more between the two of you then there really is.
(That probably answers your question but I felt I should add this next part.)
However if you don't feel comfortable meeting her in real life you should follow you instincts and not do it. If you really want to meet her make sure you do so in a public place. It doesn't matter how old you are or what sex you are always be careful about meeting someone from online.
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A
female
reader, Serinity +, writes (27 December 2007):
 I don't know what the legal age is where you live, but in the U.S. it's 18. However, I don't think that's the issue here. Put the age difference aside and before you get emotionally involved, evaluate the situation. Mature or not she has not had many opportunies to explore relationships and understand concequences etc. She seems to be doing good in school and you could end up being a huge distraction for her. All I'm saying is that I don't think it's wrong to have a friendship with this girl, but I would limit it to a platonic friendship for now. Let her concentrat on her school and grades. If you distract her and she doesn't accomplish what she has set out to do, then she will regret it later in life and probably resent you. You're 28, she's 17. If you want to persue an emotional/romantic relationship with this girl I would definitely give it a few years. If you can maintain a good friendship over the next few years, I would say that it would be safe to date romantically then. Good luck!
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male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (27 December 2007):
 Well in my view shes of legal age(though you only want a friendship?), your not in a relationship(if you do want a relationship with her). Most importantly shes not your student, so its OK, in my view though. People around might think a little diffferently But legally and morally your ok. So you can just ignore these people.
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