A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I am a plus sized woman with an average sized boyfriend. He makes me feel so confident with myself and always shows so much respect for me. I have been starting to lose a sigificant amount of weight, and he hasn't mentioned anything. He always avoids discussing anything to do with my weight. Is he doing this because my weight bothers him, or is he doing this because he knows I feel uncomfortable talking about it? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCerberus-Thank you for a male point of view. I am not the type of girl that would put my boyfriend to a "test". I am just looking for some positive feedback from him.I am so grateful I have a guy that loves me for me, as I am. I could not be more grateful for him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2012): My experience with men is that most of them are not observant. Just be direct with him and ask him how he likes your new slimmer look. Don't take his comments personally, guys will be guys. Just be happy and grateful that you have a wonderful man who doesn't care about your weight and loves you for who you are. They're a rare species!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2012): "Is he doing this because my weight bothers him, or is he doing this because he knows I feel uncomfortable talking about it?"
Most importantly he's doing it because your weight doesn't really matter to him and he doesn't want to give you the idea that it does. This isn't like a new haircut that we guys can just compliment, weight issues are a Pandora's box most of us will avoid at all costs.
He's also doing it because he's smart OP. We guys know we cant win when it comes to weight issues. It's always a trap.
"Congratulations when are you due?" "I'm not pregnant you asshole."
"Do you think I'm fat?" "No of course not." "Why are you lying? I know I'm fat and at least my other friends can be honest with me about it."
"Do you think I'm fat?" "Well you could probably lose a few pounds." "Oh my god you asshole, you're dumped."
"Do you think I'm fat?" "Not really." "Not really? What's that supposed to mean. You think I'm fat don't you?"
"Do you think I'm fat?" "(sarcasm) oh hell yeah I could hear you trundling from a mile away you whale." "Fuck you, do you think this is a joke?"
My advice to you is to think like a man in this circumstance, make it as comfortable and easy for him as possible by simply telling him how much you've lost recently, letting him praise you for that and just accept that praise and don't question him further about it.
Please don't be one of these girls that makes this test.
For example:
"Have you noticed anything different about me lately?" If he doesn't guess correctly he's in shit.
I could list out all the variations of that too OP, all I can say is you need to positive side here and not do some stupid test. The most important thing you need to remember is that it's not important whether he notices your weight or not. So try not to make a big deal out of it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is all really helpful advice.
My boyfriend and I are in an LDR. We see each er once per month. I have shared with him about my sessions with my trainer and about buying new clothes, but I have never shared anything about what is on the scale. How would people suggest I bring this to his attention?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 September 2012):
 Congrats on the loss....
I can tell you that my best girlfriend has been with me from size 8 to size 28 and all in between and now back to size 6 then up to 10 now... and she never said anything over the last 20 plus years...
I once asked her about it and she told me "I don't see you as a weight or a size, I don't care"... and interestingly enough she's gained enough over the years and I never noticed either...
He either doesn't notice (a good thing)
or he feels like it's private (a good thing too he respects your boundaries)
or maybe he doesn't know what to say....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 September 2012):
 Maybe your weight doesn't matter to him, only that you are happy. Or he is one of the SMART guys who knows that most women are sensitive about their weight.
If he started to give you comments about how awesome you look now compared to before , you might start to doubt why he fell for you in the first place.. It's a no win/no win for him..
And congrats on the weight loss - keep up the good work and honey, DO IT FOR YOU and your health.
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A
female
reader, Pretty and proud  +, writes (8 September 2012):
 Congratulations on losing weight. Simple answer, he probably has not noticed or doesn't want to say anything, best thing to do is when you weigh yourself next tell him how much you have lost then he may feel better discussing it because you mentioned it first.
I have been in a similar situation, my other half just simply didn't notice that I'd lost 2 stone and half his wifey had disappeared until we went to have sex one day with the light on and he said, where have your boobs gone?
Good luck with your weight loss, it feels so good when you et to your goal size/weight
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A
female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (8 September 2012):
 You could probably be right, he could have avoided bringing this up for fear it will offend you and now that you have lost a lot of weight, pretends that it doesn't affect him as this might offend you too (might make you think: I didn't know I was that fat to him).But then, what type of person is your bf? Is he the type to notice if people gain or lose weight? Because quite frankly, women have the tendency to overthink stuff about themselves. (like me LOL) I mean, it could be that he doesn't notice the changes of your weight, especially if you guys see each other regularly. A lot of guys actually don't care much about weight of their girlfriends/wives, unless you are obese and suddenly you are slim. If they don't like your body shape or weight, they wouldn't be with you at all. That's how I think their minds work, my current bf or my ex never noticed if I gained weight or lost some. My friends do. When I ask my bf, he'd say he never really saw me gaining or losing some pounds, he sees ME. That's what he only sees.
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female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (8 September 2012):
 I'm thinking that he doesn't want to discourage you or mess with your mojo. So he is not saying anything that could detract from your personal goals.
If he keeps being aloof and it muddles into other parts of your relationship, definitely bring it up.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (8 September 2012):
 Possibly could be cause plus is positive and he likes you no matter if you gain or lose weight. Everybody in the universe knows women are sensitive about weight and looks hair makeup fashion. So yes he doesn't want to offend you. Apparently he loves you the way you are regardless.
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