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I'm a little uncomfortable with her fetish!

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 August 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 6 September 2015)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *8sheep writes:

Hi there! i have just found somthing out about my girlfreind that i did not know. We have been together for going on six years now. sex has been good, just lately my missus(Sarah) has been having problems becoming aroused and sexually moist. And she told me the love making was a little uncomfortable for her as a result. Then she hit me with a bombshell. She told me it was a little bit kinky... Sarah can only become properly aroused whilst she is being given a spanking! Not just a few playfull slaps mind as part of foreplay. But... A DGS! really gives her sticky knickers. As she puts it. I was genuinely surprised and a wee bit shocked. She has not read fifty shades or seen the movie. So i had to ask why she had this fettish. When did it all start? she told me during her final term of schooling in Canada she owned up to letting down the tyres of a teacher's car. Even though it was her bff who was guilty. The reult was than rather than reporting our lass to the principal and possible expulsion, the teacher gave sarah an alternative. Sarah agreed and she was subjected to the punishment. The thing was sarah got off on theordeal and that is how she developed her liking for being spanked. I am just a bit unsure what to do. Because i will feel a little uncomfortable treating sarah in the she desires. ....Any advice or tips....steven

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (6 September 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntHow are things going? Were you able to integrate the fetish into your sex life? Hope all went well.

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (19 August 2015):

femmenoir agony auntHi,

there are many people out there, who i dare say, have one secret fetish of another hidden away for a long time.

I must add, however, that it's not overly common after 6 years.

I guess your girlfriend Sarah, has had this fetish for a long while, but for whatever reason, she delayed telling you about it.

She may have been worried about your reaction.

The fact is that you cannot do anything about the past, that's gone, she has now come clean and you must think about whether or not, you are comfortable with this fetish of hers.

If you do go ahead with the wild foreplay, please be careful/gentle with her, as spanking can get to the stage where it can become so aggressive that you end up hurting/injuring her bottom and she'd then not be smiling, i can assure you.

I am very fortunate, i get aroused very quickly, simply by mere thought, i always have throughout my adult life, however, i know and realise that no two people are the same and we all get turned on by different things.

I like the idea of a pretend threesome, so i talk about this with my husband from time to time and he seems to get very turned on by that, but not everybody would and that's understandable.

Sarah enjoys spanking and that's ok, but what's interesting, is that you only just found this out, after so many years together.

As another reader mentioned, what else could she be hiding from you

All the best and let us know how things go between the two of you. :-)

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (18 August 2015):

Fatherly Advice agony auntAdvice and tips,

Use a safe word, if you don't know what that is find out.

A light weight paddle stings without bruising.

Some people like stingy some like thuddy. Communicate

Stay away from the tail bone.

Vary the rhythm. Anticipation is half the fun. Also counting, and talking during the event. Again find out what she likes.

Well that's a good start.

FA

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (18 August 2015):

janniepeg agony auntI am only moist for the first 6 months and then my focus is not on sex anymore. I just go ahead and do it and both are happy. I could get wet by cunnilingus or watching porn but I really don't care. Sex is a connection and should not be used as a scorecard. It does not take a kinky woman to find vanilla sex boring. Everything gets boring because of familiarity.

Same as fetishes, they are only fun if it's once in a while. You can make her happy after you get her bum red. Do it 20 times then it slowly loses its appeal. If I were you, it's not the fetish that makes me uncomfortable. It's the thought of, "after all this is done and nothing more is exciting, then what?"

I think it's easier for a stranger to spank a woman's bum than her own husband. You are supposed the one to protect her and respect her. If you truly feel uncomfortable then by all means don't do it. Even Jamie Dorman in Fifty shades of grey said that the spanking scene was painful for him because he would never dream of doing that to a real woman.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (17 August 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntI find it astonishing that she's been able to have sex with you for 6 years and only recently struggles with arousal, and that it's taken her this long to clue you in to the fetish. It doesn't seem honest of her, you know?

I guess you will have to take some time to decide if you can fulfill her fetish. Perhaps you will, perhaps you won't. As it's been hidden from you for so many years, you should be given time to process the new information about her, with no pressure on you.

I wouldn't do anything just yet, take some time, absorb the new details and then decide if what seems to be a new requirement in the bedroom is something you will be comfortable with.

And I rather agree that a spanking delivered by a teacher in Canada is probably a fiction. Be that as it may, if she has this fetish then it's rather odd she enjoyed sex with you for 6 years before telling you. Perhaps there are other things she's not yet told you? Hm.

Well, take your time. Come back in a week or so and let us know how things are going.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2015):

well it might not do too much good for the relationship but you could either laugh it off and arouse her in a sensual manner or you could partcipate in a little role play based around her early experience.She probably enjoyed the excitment around being the centre of naughty attention and she may have already had an attraction towards her presumably male teacher.I would say it was a very risque alternative to seeing the principal and may never have occurred in real life but it is a fantasy she is considering so you could treat it as a mind game,but if you must indulge her in this,please make sure you dont deliberately hurt her as she may not find the reality as inspiring as the fantasy and you dont want to end up in court for cruelty.

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