A
female
age
30-35,
*anja
writes:Sorry if this is a lil bit long.well I'm 16 and female.My problem is i really want a girlfreind,I know that's stupid since what really I should want is freinds since i only have like two,(whom I love very much..on another note)my parents don't no this,there a little bit homophobic,not in a cruel way.they just seem to find homosexuality gross and like to make jokes. My dad is the worst he seems quite repulsed by gay men and seems to find lesbians pathetic although he wouldn't openly say so,my mum says that in a perfect world same sex relationships wouldn't exist,my sister is the exception she'd accept me no matter what. I do like guys,I just.. I don't understand it,I was very attracted to guys. I broke up with a guy not long ago,whenever we hugged or kissed i felt..nothing,I felt repulsed.The last time i remember really wanting to have sex with someone was a girl.'ve contacted a LGBT group in my town,and they have offered to get some of the other girls in the group to meet me for coffee,If I really really tried I could tell my mum I was meeting friends and somehow get there. But I'm so shy I mean I doubt my legs would carry me.I'm so bad at meeting people,I make enemies not friends,I'm generally thought of as the sarcastic,stuck up one in the corner.It's because when I'm nervous I'm un-polite.I have had online relationships with girls..and my best friend..well she was kind of more then a friend.I would like to make friends but I'm so terrible at it. Don't mean to sound so self involved But I have got to tell somebody this stuff..its not because i don't really want to meet these girls and I'm just sulking,its honestly because I'm so bad at making friends.Does anyone no how I could learn to get over this problem?
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best friend, broke up, lesbian, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, crazychick  +, writes (1 November 2009):
 That's a shame Kanja, but well done for going!... Don't give up hope, there's probably loads of people in the same situation as you are and all thinking the same thing. You should look on the internet and see if you can find any support groups in your area, or get chatting to people online. Good luck
A
female
reader, kanja +, writes (1 November 2009):
kanja is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt turns out that actually there's knowone even close to my age in that group,so i guess i wont be making freinds anytime soon but I'm hoping it'll be okay.
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A
female
reader, openmind  +, writes (30 October 2009):
YOU HAVE TOO MEET THE GIRLS!!!! Forget about how rude you are when you are nervous. You know you do it so brace your self to be ready to bite your tongue when something rude pops into your mind. You may not find a date immediatly but you may however make some lesbian friends who can give you advice on how to put yourself out there- there bieng the world of GIRLS!!! As for the parents thing it may not be as bad as you think. I have had the most trouble out of my mom she has stopped talking to me for a while and then gotten over it and then done the same thing again. She always gets over it tho. And my dad loves it we talk about girls together haha!! It may be best to tell your parents only when you are in a serious relationship thus you will have a lover to run to if things get tough. Just be your self most importantly lesbians are GREAT and i bet you will have loads of fun Let me know how it goes please and feel free to ask me anything!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): My best friend in a very similar situation. She doesn't really make friends, never mind a girl friend. I think she is hoping that will fall into place at uni. She mainly talks to people online....
I'm the same except I'm straight...You are not alone
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A
female
reader, crazychick +, writes (24 October 2009):
You should deffinately meet the girls for coffee, or maybe chat to a couple of them online first? When you do meet them, try not to hide away, and don't try too hard to impress them as it would just make you nervous. When you get there be honest, tell them how shy you are and how it can get you in trouble sometimes (make a joke of it, it will probably lighten the mood) it is also good to find a common interest so you have something to talk about. In this case it's easy, you're all lesbians so you can tell them about your family and why you wanted to meet new people, and ask them questions, they'll probably be able answer questions you have about your feelings and advise you on the best way to talk to your parents. Go for it, you'll never know until you try. Good luck :)
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