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I'm a lesbian and like 2 women at work! What should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 October 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 31 October 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

I am in a predicament at work. Im a 17 and seem to like two friends. I am a flirt at work and flirt with all the women there (By the way… I’m a lesbian!) I started working there a year ago and found myself liking two women. Both are four years older than me and they have grown up together so are pretty close. Lets call them A and B.

A had a boyfriend when I met her and now they are engaged but they seem to argue a bit. They don’t live together and she don’t mind telling me stuff and says she trusts me and that. We get on really well, we make each other laugh and we’re always messing about. We have the whole playful thing going on, holding eye contact, poking one another etc. So I presumed if A liked me then she would tell B and another women who works there called Del. Del always makes faces as if to say ‘oh aren’t they cute together’ and is always laughing at us being together and I got a bit freaked out at first about it then A was becoming flirty so I just act as though I fancy her (Which I do) but no one knows I am a lesbian. Whenever I am offish with A, Del always seems to be offish with me so I don’t really have much choice but to be like I have been from the start and be flirty! I really do like her and have done from the first minute I saw her so I suppose you can sort of call it love at first sight!!

Right now to B, I liked her too from the minute I saw her but not as much as A. Now I am seeing her more because I am now working with and not just working in the same place. At first she was great, we flirted a little and we got on really well, which we still do but she has become way more flirty. There was a moment when Del and B were both encouraging me to be anywhere where A was, which was cool, cos I presumed if A did like me then she would tell B and Del. However, B now seems to be getting jealous whenever I am with A and has become way protective. She tries to keep us away from each other whenever we can be together but flirts madly when I am with them both. Today she didn’t want me to leave and said I couldn’t. So I replied with, “well you’ll have to put up with me” and she was like “I don’t care, I want you to stay” so I was freaked out. She is always touching me, whether its my hand, shoulder, arm, back or what. Trouble is she has a boyfriend and A has told me she hasn’t been with anyone else. He treats her like shit and has cheated on her before. He is working away a lot to and he prefers to go up the pub than be with her so she deserves to be with someone better. I like both of them but I don’t want to hurt either

View related questions: at work, engaged, flirt, has a boyfriend, jealous, lesbian, she has a boyfriend

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A male reader, geqo South Africa +, writes (31 October 2006):

geqo agony auntBoth the girls you like seem to be having difficulties with their boyfriends, and both seem to be quite flirty towards you. However, this doesn't mean you should wedge between them and their boyfriends. They will have to break up with their boyfriends first before you can get involved, which could take time.

You need to try and decide which girl you like more, of if that's not possible, which is a more likely lesbian. If you feel that you've been as obvious as you can be without being direct, maybe it is time to become direct with one of the girls. On the other hand, if there's still room for flirting, try to let them know without directly telling them, but still making your intentions obvious.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (4 October 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntOffice romances are difficult at best. I would be very careful making any moves, especially since you didn't say whether either one gay or bisexual. Since A has a boyfriend you best let her decide on her own whether to end their relationship, it's really none of your business at this point. You could ask B to go for some coffee after work and see what develops there.

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