A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hope someone can give me an advice here, I am really really confused. Here's the story: About half a year ago a really beautiful woman started showing me interest in me She winked at me, talked a lot to me, asked me if I'm seeing someone, and smiled/gazed a lot. So I finally got the courage to ask her out,and she was eager to meet me. A few days ago, we met. She asked me again if I'm seeing someone. During the conversation she often stopped talking, and just looked in my eyes (longer than usual), and then smiled. She told me she had been noticing me, and liked the way I looked. She also said that she felt we had connected real well. After a few glasses of wine, she took my hands, and held them for several minutes during our conversation. I told her it felt good to hold her hands, and she said she was glad I said that/felt that way, she told me she was so scared of being hurt. I told her I had been thinking about her. I wonder if that was a wrong thing to say, because just a few minutes after this she said she had to go home, because she had to get early up the next morning. I followed her home, we hugged, and as we said good night, she told me that we are on a different level, though, she said, I'll see you around (we often meet accidently). I do not understand what she meant by that. There is a certain age difference between us, and I wonder if that's what she meant. Shall I just forget about her? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for a good answer. I agree, I will back off. I don't want her to feel like I'm needy. I just wanted to meet her to find out more about her since she has been showing me interest for a while, and it made me think of her. She mentioned that she had been in love a couple of times, but it did'nt work out so well, because it got too intense. Things were developing rather fast this evening, from just barely knowing each other, to holding hands and telling each other how we feel, so I think she might wants to slow things down. Thanks again.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (7 October 2011):
 Hmm could be one of several things or a combination of lots of things.
1) She could have been badly hurt in a past relationship and is scared to get too involved with you.
2) She may just love flirting and attention but may not want to commit.
3) She may be a game player who prefers to chase and when you said you were thinking about her, it may have made her think you were needy (yeah dumb but some people over interpretate)
4) She may be using the withdrawal method on purpose to avoid looking needy herself, hoping that you will do all the chasing. Saying 'we are on a different level' might be an incitement for you to find out what her 'level' is. It's up to you if you can be bothered to work her out.
5) After spending a little time with you, she might have enjoyed the flirting but simply just changed her mind and decided you wern't for her...it happens!
I think you should back off and go about your business. If she contacts you and appears friendly, you could date her again. If she continues to be ambiguous in her approach you might reconsider seeing her again.
Sometimes it takes a while to work people out but if it makes you feel uncomfortable or your gut tell you 'no' then just accept it's not going anywhere and move on.
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